Elderly Prospective Corvette Buyers Rush Factory To Protest Upcoming Mid-Engine Model


Elderly Prospective Corvette Buyers Rush Factory To Protest Upcoming Mid-Engine Model

In a show of force no one could have seen coming, hundreds of elderly Corvette enthusiasts and prospective buyers stormed the Chevrolet Corvette Factory in Bowling Green, Kentucky. This was an act of protest against the supposed mid-engine Corvette model that will be hitting the streets in the coming years. The complaints ranged from concerns over the fitment of golf bags to the apparent lack of color options.

“We have it on good authority that you will no longer be able to order a Corvette in Hunter Green with a tan convertible top,” Amos Moses said. “These sons of bitches better get it through their head quickly that this is not acceptable. If you think we’re going to idle to Sunday morning church services, an early brunch, or even a mid-week meeting for the Corvette club in some Frankenstein monster, you’ve got another thing coming.”

Agnes Schwartz was protesting with her husband, “Morty is sitting down and getting some air right now,” Schwartz said. “He’s taking all of this really hard. I mean, I wear this poodle skirt to all the cruise nights and today I am wearing it to protest. There’s a rumor that you’ll only be able to get a manual transmission with this middle engine thing. What are we living in Russia now?”

Several members of the protest had embroidered shirts sporting images of their own cars on them. Others wore jackets with the Corvette logo, checkered flags, or even flames. No one we had spoken to had ever modified their cars or even thought out modifying their cars. “My 1994 ‘Vette has a TPI 350 that makes a TON of power,” Abe Woolrich said. “Anyone out there who thinks that these cars need more than they have is crazy!” When we mentioned that a 2017 Ford Fusion can be optioned to make more horsepower he slowly but angrily trudged away.

After slowly advancing through the lobby the protesters made it to the production line where they immediately became confused and disoriented.They began asking for help to identify the different parts of the cars which were passing over their heads. The protest ended peacefully when several members of the group left for their weekly bridge meeting.

This was the scene leaving the plant –

 


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14 thoughts on “Elderly Prospective Corvette Buyers Rush Factory To Protest Upcoming Mid-Engine Model

  1. Brendan M

    Oh my God!!!!! His name is Amos Moses! Like the Jerry Reed song! Lmfao!!!!

    Is this fake news? You should have added that every Wal-Mart for 80 miles suddenly sold out of Ensure and Readers Digest.

    Reply
  2. sbg

    I’m surprised Brian isn’t out protesting the latest bill prohibiting dump trucks. Seems Congress has banned them.

    Reply
  3. Kenneth Billups

    People do not understand that by making the Corvette mid-engine; it will enhancs the car\’s capability of competing with the cars that run in the IMSA. If you look at the cars such as the Ford gt, the Porsche, and Ferrari all these cars have engines in the back. Over the past few years Corvette has not been able to qualify to the number one or two positions often. The engineers can no longer get anymore from the Corvette in its present configuration, therefore I am in favor of moving the engine in the back of the car. I am the proud owner of a 2001 Corvette. I would hope that G.M., and Chevrolet will continue to build the front engine Corvette, but that they also build the mid-engine Corvette for those that can afford it. If placing the engine rear will make the car handle better, give it better balance, and give it more power, then count me in-do it!

    Reply

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