If you read this ad using the completely over the top and ridiculous accent used by the guys in the popular “Hoppah” television commercials you will truly sound like someone speaking Boston-ese. You will also sound like Craig Fitzgerald because this is how the man speaks. In fact, while Craig does not live in the town of Somerville where this “1980s motorcycle crap” is located, he may maintain a chop shop or perhaps a secret family there. I would not put it past the guy. He also has an affliction for 1980s motorcycles and likes to cut people.

I realize that all of this is completely circumstantial but just doing some simple math leads me back to the fact that former BangShift contributor turned BestRide.com editor Fitzgerald is the masked man selling this crap. I can call it crap because that’s what the seller calls it. Don’t believe me? (Good, you are learning. When you live here you don’t trust your own grandmother so that’s a Boston trait you have already picked up, just by speaking like a weirdo).  Read the ad for youself ya punk!

Here’s the text of the ad in the event the crap is sold or someone is cut or the thing gets pulled down because a Yankees fan runs Craigslist:

This is a bunch of crap left over from working on 1980’s and 1990’s bikes. Some of it is good, most of it is total crap. If you’re upgrading the brakes on a 1970’s or early 1980’s bike then there are some good brake calipers here. There are some master cylinders, mostly with broken levers. There is a bunch of electric crap – horns, lights, switches. All crap, unless you need it.

Make me an offer, then come by and take it. If you don’t show up then I’ll hunt you down and cut you. Show up and complain that it’s crap and I’ll cut you. Show up and say you want the stuff but not the crap and I’ll cut you. In fact, I’ll probably want to cut you just on general principle, but I’m not that principled and I really want this crap out of my shop.

Thanks to Jay Spinella for the ad!

CLICK HERE TO SEE THIS FUNNY AD FOR “1980S MOTORCYCLE CRAP”  – WE STILL THINK FITZGERALD WROTE THIS