After years of fans clamoring for IndyCar racing to return to its creative and everyman roots, the series has dropped the curtain on the car that will do just that and allow pretty much anyone, even the jobless to go IndyCar racing. By assigning engineers the task of coming up with the cheapest possible platform and drivetrain, the resulting racer can be had for less than $1,000 turn key and ready to race.
Series executives are excited about the future, “When we told the engineering department that we needed them to come up with a racing platform that could be built and raced for less than $1,000 several of them quit on the spot and one guy openly cursed us out. The two people who remained were actually not engineers but janitors who were in the meeting. They are the visionaries behind this new platform.”
By using the chassis of a 1992 Chevrolet S-10 and a 2.8L V6 powerplant, the janitorial engineers combined the best of two worlds. The first is that the 2.8L engine is so horrid that most scrap yards will give them away if customers ask enough times and that is a real way of controlling costs. Also due to the complete lack of reliability, the races will be shortened to 30 laps. That will make a more fast paced and exciting program for fans who don’t want to see endless 200mph laps around iconic race tracks across the country. Ticket prices will remain the same.
IndyCar officials see a bright future. “Obviously we had to take out any sort of safety considerations for the drivers of these things but hey, when you make an omlette you need to break a couple of eggs, right? The wooden roof acts like a pretty big wing and makes downforce to shove the car into the racing surface increasing traction so we really do have a good aero package here. The use of the stock tank and having it basically zip tied to the chassis somehow saves the teams untold thousands in costs over conventional fuel systems. Also, see the gold painted chassis? We ended up going with gold because the designers told us that gold tasted the best when huffed from a paper bag. Newsflash: THEY WERE RIGHT!”
Among the current challenges were engineering a radiator hose that is the required 11ft long to reach from the tiny engine to the radiator itself but some of the best minds in the industry are working hard on it. Or they are getting drunk and bemoaning their future. One of those things is happening as you read this.
Wondering if it will do burnouts? No, no it will absolutely not be capable of burnouts.
Thanks to Troy Hudson for the tip.
SEE MORE OF THE NEW INDY CAR FOR 2016 BELOW – REAL RACING IS BACK
Finally, the 2.8 gets the fame it deserves!
You what would really make these new Indycars fantastic? A powerglide behind that gutless engine!
This was a fun April Fools’ post, it’s right up there with the Pacifica.
Would be more interesting than the “cookie cutter cars ” they run now. Indy cars are just plain boring.
Fred Flintstone’s hot rod!
As always a sack of shit based on a Chevy….
Make a dune buggy out of it..
Well…it IS a mid engined, two seater, so…
Are they going to be selling rides in the jumpseats on the back of these? That should be a real thrill ride since you’d be strapped to the fuel tank.
I will have you know they are not janitorial engineers. They are custodial engineers. Local 723 is officially asking for an apology.
The last picture is perfect. Parked between a decaying rv and picnic bench, the only thing that can conceal such awesomeness is a rotten, cedar fence.