The Superbowl Car Ads: Speedy Picks the Winners, Watch Them Here!By Speedzzter@blogspot.com Posted 02/09/10
The Super Bowl is probably the closest thing to a universal social event in America. Even the most hard-core BangShifters probably watched at least part of it. But the real Super Bowl wasn't fought on the gridiron. The main event was the epic battle of the advertisers. It's the admen's annual Donnybrook, slugged out at more than $100,000 per second.
And the bottom line of the Super Bowl advertising for BangShifters has nothing to do with a body-slammed Betty White, electro-shocking dog collars, or fiddling beavers. It’s about who ran the best automotive-themed ad.
Let’s get ready to rumble!
1. “Man’s Last Stand” --Dodge Challenger R/T (USA Today Ad meter: 6.42, Rank: 23): It goes without saying that for BangShifters, the only ad featuring a HEMI V8 would be number one. But this low-budget spot delivers more more. Millions of middle-aged BangShifters undoubtedly could hear themselves repeating the same litany of soul-crushing promises necessary to responsible adulthood. And when the Hemi Charger R/T thundered onto the screen, it literally seemed that it was the last bastion of male freedom! Even I was ready to join the Dodge Rebellion! About the only way it could have been any better (or less subtle) was if it had featured a white “Vanishing Point” Challenger SRT-8 ripping a monster burnout! “Man’s Last Stand” was a swaggering thumb in the eye of typical, politically-correct, inoffensive, neutered “appliance car” advertising. When the “green police” regulate the Hemi out of existence, we’ll look back on this ad as a classic.
2. “Green Police” -- Audi (USA Today Ad meter: 7.35, Rank: 6): Speaking of the green police...this ad probably cost fifty times as much as the Charger ad. And the car they were advertising is some sort of non-BangShiftable, shrink-wrapped Audi turbodiesel. Yawn. But the rocking Cheap Trick sound track and the unmistakable message that the “green police” are going too far tapped into our angst about the future. Well done!
3. “Punch Dub” – Volkswagen (USA Today Ad meter: 6.58, Rank: 16): If you had kids in the ‘80s, you painfully learned the “Slug Bug” game. Now somebody in VW’s ad agency wants to reinvent it as “punch dub.” They even went for the cheap blind guy joke with a cameo of Stevie Wonder. The fact that this auto ad ranks third points to the paucity of creative car advertising during the “big game.”
5. “Your Tires or Your Life” – Bridgestone (USA Today Ad Meter: 5.82, Rank: 42) Apparently forgetting that “your tires or your life” could have summed up the Bridgestone/Explorer fiasco, Bridgestone offered a motley crew of highwaymen at a roadblock. Of course the hapless hihack driver mistakenly hears “wife” instead of “life” and offers up his smokin’ hot model spouse so he can keep his ‘Stones. What an idiot!
6. “Vacation” – Home Away.com (USA Today Ad meter: 7.07, Rank: 13) While it was fun to see the old Wagon Queen Family Truckster and a retirement-aged Clark and Ellen Griswold (Beverly D’Angelo is still sort of hot, probably the best thing about this nostalgic spot was remembering back when they build real V8-powered All-American station wagons instead of FWD minivans.
7. “Pizza Delivery” – Papa John’s Pizza (USA Today Ad meter: 5.44, Rank 50) Surely Papa John has featured his fat-tired high school Camaro in enough ads that he can write it off on his taxes. A tired concept.
8. “2020 MVP” – Hyundai (USA Today Ad meter: 5.45, Rank 49): Hyundai pounded the Super Bowl with advertising. Hyundai was even the title sponsor of the “kickoff show.” But most of Hyundai’s stuff t was boring and forgettable. The “2020 MVP” spot, featuring an aged Brett Favre’s victory speech as the NFL’s most valuable player in 2020 was Hyundai’s best because the Korean transportation appliance didn’t show up until the very end.
9.“Sock Monkey” – Kia minivan (USA Today Ad meter: 6.10, Rank: 34): If you’ve got a toddler, you immediately recognized the characters from Nick Jr.’s awful music show “Yo Gabba Gabba.” If not, you probably wondered why a giant, bumpy orange prophylactic was juking around on your TV set. This testosterone-sapping ad was the polar opposite to the Dodge Challenger spot. However, it did confirm one thing: most Kia drivers are sock monkeys.
10. Battle of the Human Bridges: Budweiser versus Hyundai: Two commercials featured people holding up vehicles. Both were stupid. The highest ranking one was Budweiser’s “Human Bridge” (USA Today Ad meter: 7.19, Rank: 8). It was another in Bud’s series of commercials about crazed alcoholics who would do just about anything for another brewski. This time a whole town turned out to form a human bridge for a 30,000-pound beer truck. At least it had something with an engine in it. Hyundai’s ad touted their invader assembly plant in Alabama. A hoard of assembly workers carrying a foreign-engineered Hyundai sedan through the plant with the voice-over suggestion that Hyundais are so good, it’s almost like they’re built by hand. We suspect the Hyundai was really just full of Budweiser...
11. “Accord Crosstour” – Honda (USA Today Ad meter: 5.54, Rank: 47) Some sort of animated rodent “Can’t get enough of that funky stuff” . . . at least until he sees Honda’ s new hatchback. Another awful Japanese rip-off of vintage American music for a nerdy car that most BangShifters wouldn’t get caught dead in.
DISHONORABLE MENTION: Go Daddy/Danica Patrick – Go Daddy ran a pair of Danica “bodice ripper” ads that were the lowest ranked of all commercials during the Super Bowl. If even beer-sotted Budweiser fans (who apparently are wasted enough to enjoy commercials lampooning themselves) cannot see any humor in Go Daddy’s tasteless spots, it’s probably time to come up with a different campaign.
CAR AD THAT WAS TOO BORING TO RATE: “Hero” - Cars.com (USA Today Ad meter: 7.07, Rank 12). The concept: Brilliant, successful guy that’s afraid of buying a car. BangShifting take: Watch the Charger Ad, Dude! That’ll tell you all you need to know.
Comments + Post your comment!
Written by Speedzzter.blogspot
Feb 10 2010
The joy of children is worth having to sit through a few moments of watching the weird dude with the 'fro and the orange jumpsuit hop around with the one-eyed ribbed rubber man on "Yo Gabba Gabba." Of course if you make me watch "Sponge Bob" I might change my mind. . . . ;D
Written by Rebeldryver Feb 09 2010
[quote author=Brian Lohnes link=topic=19714.msg369420#msg369420 date=1265776827]
The hilarious thing was that my wife and I knew exactly who that guy was. With a 3 and 1 year old, Yo Gabba Gabba is evening viewing for the family.
It is a WEIRD ass show, but the kids dig it, and there are lots of moments of unintentional adult funny.
:)
Brian
[/quote]
Thank you for giving me another reason to pass along why I don't have kids.
Written by Brian Lohnes
Feb 09 2010
The hilarious thing was that my wife and I knew exactly who that guy was. With a 3 and 1 year old, Yo Gabba Gabba is evening viewing for the family.
It is a WEIRD ass show, but the kids dig it, and there are lots of moments of unintentional adult funny.
:)
Brian
Written by 200kss Feb 09 2010
Thanks for the clarification on the Kia ad. We don't have any toddlers here and my wife was curious what a red dildo had to do with the rest of the toys in the back seat.
Written by Mr4Speed Feb 09 2010
[quote author=Brian Lohnes link=topic=19714.msg369336#msg369336 date=1265770169]
[quote author=Speedzzter.blogspot link=topic=19714.msg369319#msg369319 date=1265768874]
I've theorized that the large volume of a truck muffler and pipe naturally resonates at a lower frequency than the mufflers and pipes typical on automotive applications. It's roughly the same way a pulse of air through a pipe organ works.
[/quote]
Just going on the sound of Goliath at idle through it's big ass, old school, truck muffler, I am agreeing. The straight six really sounds cool lumping away at 600 rpm. It isn't a hollow sound, but more like a nice full rumbling. That of course goes away in a hurry and it sounds like a sixer again, but the big muffler definitely seems to stretch those sound waves out.
[/quote]
Agreed. More case volume=deeper tone (and more power!). I had a pair of huge early seventies Imperial single exhaust mufflers on my 454 Suburban and it was one of the best sounding cars I ever had.
Written by Brian Lohnes
Feb 09 2010
[quote author=Speedzzter.blogspot link=topic=19714.msg369319#msg369319 date=1265768874]
I've theorized that the large volume of a truck muffler and pipe naturally resonates at a lower frequency than the mufflers and pipes typical on automotive applications. It's roughly the same way a pulse of air through a pipe organ works.
[/quote]
Just going on the sound of Goliath at idle through it's big ass, old school, truck muffler, I am agreeing. The straight six really sounds cool lumping away at 600 rpm. It isn't a hollow sound, but more like a nice full rumbling. That of course goes away in a hurry and it sounds like a sixer again, but the big muffler definitely seems to stretch those sound waves out.
Written by Speedzzter.blogspot
Feb 09 2010
[quote author=TheSilverBuick link=topic=19714.msg369104#msg369104 date=1265738597]
The Charger commercial captured engine audio in a way that hasn't been heard in a long time, sounded like low rpm grunt than most high buzzing sounding engines today.
[/quote]
One of the interesting things about the latest Mopar Hemi cars is the exhaust note. I first noticed it when I tested a SRT-8 back in 2006. Stock, the Hemi cars have a relatively huge common chamber toward the back of the dual exhausts (not sure if it's classified as a resonator or a muffler). This big chamber seems to pump up the low frequency tones better than anything on any of the other Detroit V8s. It does mute the bank-to-bank "burble" more at idle, tending to combine the pulse sounds into a simply wicked constant rumble.
While I'm not an accoustic engineer, ever since I heard my first gasoline big block in a bob-tail dump truck thump out that low metallic grumble under load (and compared it to similar-sized engines rasping through the 2" glasspacks that were ubiquitous when I was a kid) I've theorized that the large volume of a truck muffler and pipe naturally resonates at a lower frequency than the mufflers and pipes typical on automotive applications. It's roughly the same way a pulse of air through a pipe organ works. You can get a little bit of this effect with big "megs" tips. To a certain extent, it's also why your "built" car sounds so "right" in a tunnel. I've often wanted to test my theories by piping a small block's exhaust into a 55 gallon drum-based muffler to experiment with resonance frequencies and sound-tuning inserts, but I've just never had the time.
I suspect the Chrysler engineers have figured out a good way to pass the drive-by noise emission tests and still provide a near big-block sound through the use of an oversized resonance cavity in the exhaust. And the audio engineers on the commercial did a great job of capturing (and maybe enhancing) the Hemi's natural growl.
Btw, I've noticed that most aftermarket exhaust systems tend to reduce the size of this oddly-shaped mega resonator.
Too bad the women don't like the "Man's Last Stand" spot. But I guess they "can't handle the truth!" :D
Written by tcbnj
Feb 09 2010
if the latest Charger ads like this one and the 'manbag' don't move the needle on Dodge sales, Sergio Marchionne is in a hot goop of merda and there will not be many more days in the Mopar brand's future. I, for one, want these ads to rev the cash register!
If you've never experienced the "don't bite your friends" song on Yo Gabba Gabba, it's worth a look. :D