In an announcement that has sent shock waves through the drag racing world, Bruton Smith, chairman of Speedway Motorsports Inc., told a throng of reporters that he has purchased the currently defunct Memphis Motorsports Park and will build a three-story, six lane drag strip. Plans for the actual construction of the track seem sketchy but the ever plucky Smith seems undaunted by the obvious challenges.
“Truth be told we have been working on this for a while,” Smith said. “I told the architect I wanted a six lane strip. As we all know, meth is pretty big down here. Well, the guy drawing the plans was on a 13 day bender when he drew up this drag strip with three levels, two lanes on each. I think it looks fun so we’re going to build it.”
When asked if the NHRA would balk at running on the strip, he replied, “Are you kidding me? I could demand that all the drivers race in leopard print unitards and they’d go along with me. I’m Bruton Freaking Smith, ’nuff said.”
Obviously building the structure will be the most challenging part of this project and Smith has said that several roadblocks have already put them behind schedule. “We’ve been through 17 engineering firms thus far and all 17 say that this thing will, without a doubt collapse and kill everyone within a half mile of it. I think that’s bullshit defeatist thinking. There’s lots of engineers in this country, we’ll find one to sign off on it.”
So will fans be able to expect the level of luxury found at the opulent zMax Dragway in Concord, North Carolina that Smith had built? “No way. Have you ever been to Millington, Tennessee? I had someone kiss my shoes when I told them we’d be serving all beef hot dogs. This mother is going to be bare bones, aside from the massive three story structure that will bring the world the first six lane simultaneous drag race.”
No time table has been given for the track opening, but we’ve heard April 1, 2012 as a tenative date.