I might come across as a bit of a heretic for this one, but I never quite got used to seeing the 442 nameplate on a car the size of the GM G-body platform. Don’t get me wrong, they are cool in their own right…yes, even that weird slope-back version from the late 1970s…but it seemed to be missing something. And here’s the even stranger view into my vision: the car I picture as the actual successor to the A-body 442 from the 1970s isn’t the G-body car…it’s the B-body 88. Strange? Yeah, I know, I’ve got a lot to explain, and I wish I could. All I can say is that in two door form, the larger 88 just does it for me. It seems to carry a lot of the style and substance that Oldsmobile had going for themselves during this era. Remember, the 1973-77 Cutlass Supreme was one of the biggest-selling cars in the United States at this point in time, mainly because they did “personal luxury” right: you got comfort, convenience and even a bit of power for a decent price. Even if you don’t agree with my views, it’s a two-door GM B-body. If you think Buford T. Justice has two doors too many, here’s your answer.

So let’s take a look at this very 1970s brown 88 coupe. While the goal would be to find a 88 Holiday with no padded roof and a floor shifter, that’s like finding hen’s teeth, so we will go with the next best thing: a 36,000 mile survivor with a factory Astroroof. It’s not perfect…the headliner is drooping in a couple of places, the paint has faded a bit where the nose has been out in the elements and there’s that missing hubcap, but for a car that’s nearly forty years old, it’s holding up pretty well. While I don’t have much experience with bigger Oldsmobiles, I’m pretty sure seeing these extra pod gauges is a rare treat as well.

Now, about the reason this car is low-mileage (and up for auction without a reserve, and marked as non-running)…congratulations, it’s a diesel. Yup, this 88 is hiding one of General Motors’ biggest mis-steps, the LF9 diesel 350 V8. Most people would see the badge on the trunk or the “Diesel Fuel Only” note on the speedometer, yell out something like, “Oh HELL no!”, and take off running. But where one sees an insurmountable problem, another sees a solution. See, we all know the 350 diesel was and is an absolute turd from the factory, but if converted to gasoline, the LF9 block can be one wicked build. The B-body chassis is plenty capable with everything from factory 9C1 parts from the Caprice to 1973-up A-body parts available, and if you ditched the strange brown paint for something a little more bolder, like the 1970 Burnished Gold Poly, you’d be on to something. Maybe hunting down some Olds Super Stock II wheels to go along with the late muscle car look would help, as well as blacking out the grille and tucking in the railroad tie bumpers.

Or maybe I’m just spitting into the wind. What say you, readers?

eBay Link: 1979 Oldsmobile 88 Royale