Every time I surf eBay, whether it be for work or self-torment to kill time looking for a car I don’t need, I look for one body style of car in particular: the 1975-1978 “Coronet” B-body Mopar coupe. I don’t care if it’s a Coronet, Charger Sport, Fury Sport, Road Runner or Monaco, I have an unhealthy desire to own one of these. Mostly because I saw a Coronet go down fighting like a freaking brute when I was a kid: it was beat on for months with the ultimate disregard for the car’s sake until a tie-rod snapped. And I mean “beat”…I’ve seen demolition derby cars get more loving care than this poor Dodge did. They aren’t pretty, sure aren’t everybody’s cup of tea, but it’s hard to fault the strength of a 1970s Mopar.

Unless salt is a factor. Then doubt it all you want.

Once again, my digging coughed up the one-year-0nly 1975 Plymouth Road Runner. And initially, things didn’t seem all that bad. One mis-colored fender, a little bit of chrome peel and rust on the bumper, and the typical lower fender damage didn’t look so bad. This front 1/4 pic is like the Facebook picture you see…everything as good as it gets. Every other picture is like that first meet up, when you realize that Facebook picture was a masterpiece in hiding and and every last possible fault imaginable.

The story isn’t all bad, though it’s hard to see that silver lining. Let’s be honest: this is parts car material here. The funky white and patterned interior is complete and for one of these late-B cars, looks pretty decent. The Road Runner-specific trim (namely the front header panel) is in good condition and the Runner-only grille is restorable. Everything else is shared with the 1975 cars and can be bolted to any “Coronet”-body coupe. But the strange thing with this RM21 is that the cancer seems to be only on the surface.

There is some rear framerail rot, but considering what the outside of the car looks like, it’s almost miraculous that there is still a floorpan at all. Only the ultimate masochist would try to save the S.S. Tetanus Shot here, but if a clean body could be found, the parts could go to good use. Or, you could take the car T.V. show route, clear-coat the rust, throw ten grand at the engine, find a set of wheels that somehow manages to piss off everybody and dub it the “Rust Runner” before trying to flip it at auction.

What do you think? Got a better sales pitch? Let’s hear it!

eBay Link: 1975 Plymouth Road Runner