There’s a part of me which fears this whole thing to be a setup. See, I have this buddy who no one really thought would amount to anything. He was just one of those people everyone looked at and had some sympathy for and gently nodded when he spoke. You know that guy. Turns out, he ended up getting a job with an OEM and he’s really showcasing his talents all over the place now. I’d give you his name but he’d probably be killed for associating himself with us or the car we have for you below. Needless to say, this guy has an awesome sense of humor and that’s why he’ll take my busting of his chops the right way. But I digress.
See this friend O’ mine sent me a Craigslist ad link to a 1996 Lumina that’s for sale in Pontiac, Michigan. The Lumina appears to be clean, nicely painted, and well cared for. The problem is that after three seconds of looking at it, some huge and I mean HUGE questions are raised and we need to answer them. Slathered down the side of the car are the word’s NINETY’S BABY big as life from the front door to the back. At first I thought that perhaps the car owner’s name was Ninety and this was his or her “baby”. This initial assumption was incorrect. Reconsidering, I thought perhaps the parent of the owner of the car was named Ninety which was also horribly misguided thinking. I then saw the hood and realized that either someone with the comedic mind of Steve Martin owns this car or the person has no grasp on time, the English language, or life in general. See on the hood is a cartoon of a kid peeing on the words “Other Generations”. Clearly this person is stating that the “Ninety’s” and are superior to all else. In fact, they are SO vastly superior, any other “generation” is worthy only to be peed upon when stacked up next to the Ninety’s. Here’s where I am going to take this discussion to the technical side because there are some things that need to be amended.
- The 1990s are not the best generation because the 1990s aren’t a generation but merely a decade. If the kid was peeing on the words “other decades” it would still be hideous and wrong, but it would at least have the time demarkation correct.
- If one were going to declare themselves as part of the 1990s, they would use the word Nineties, not Ninety’s. It is possible that someone names Ninety is the owner and “parent” of this car but the hood and back window indicate we’re not talking about a mere person here, but of a decade that featured such things as the retirement of Rick Astley from the popular music scene, Pepperdine University winning the college baseball world series, and Frank Dellarosa breaking the 20 hot dog barrier at the Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest in 1991. Big time stuff indeed.
- The use of a bottle cap to block the license plate of the Chevy Lumina in the rear shot below is one of the most brilliant things we have ever seen in a CL ad from Pontiac, Michigan.
By all means, we want your take on this. Does Ninety’s Baby mean something different than we think?
SCROLL DOWN TO SEE THE PHOTOS AND THEN HIT THE CRAIGSLIST AS LINK IF YOU WANT TO. DO YOU REALLY WANT TO?
both of my kids are from the 90’s… wild wild west. Neither of them would put dubs on one side and white walls on stockers on the other side.
Of course, neither would they put a “Arrest ME!” sticker down the side of the car and a “Abuse my civil rights on my way to jail” sticker on the back window.
proof that licking a light socket is a bad thing. Sigh.
LMAO!
Stocks are winter wheels buddy.
I think “Nick” left out a few things: Numerous burn marks in the upholstery from cigarettes(?) and stains from unknown fluids, 1 billion watt stereo with blown speakers, one days total output of french fries from the local Mickey D’s, AND various empty cans of caffeinated sports drinks. The smell is free of charge.
As a resident of the fine city of Pontiac and having personally seen this thing on the street, I am ninety percent certain this guy (I’ve only seen a guy driving it) is dead serious and has no concept of irony. It is possibly more awesome in person. If that’s possible…
This has reinforced my belief that the American education system has failed us all. I think this should be the catalyst for a presidential panel or something. I mean come on, the nation who put a man on the moon is responsible for this? WTF?
I find it hilarious that you would bust on the owner’s grammar mistakes while including at least three mistakes of your own in the commentary.
Throwing stones in glass houses…just saying.
Don’t feel too bad, Chad and McTaggert do it too.
At least spell my fucking name right if you are going to call me out.
BWHAHAHAHAHAH
D’oh! lol
I’m surprised you noticed McTaggart, your spelling is so bad I wonder if you even finished high school. Fact is, NONE of you proof read. Go ahead and tell me you have a college degree, must have had a tutor in English classes if you did.
Well then, I’m glad to see you know me personally. Because, you do, right? No…you decide to nit-pick the work of three people who bust their asses to bring content each and every day in the hope of entertaining a group of gear heads, and because why, I ask? Because you are bored? Because you want to waste away the hours of your day correcting the grammar of the Internet? If you want grammatical perfection, go teach. God knows there’s plenty of schools that could use your well-trained eye. You don’t like what you see here, I’ll be happy to tell you where you can go. I have many options, I’m sure I can find one that will suit you just fine. I’ll even buy the ticket for you.
Don’t be so hard on GuitarSlinger…I mean gmramar nazi Byran, they can run but can’t hide!
I’ll take content over grammar all day long! Complaining about grammar on BS is like being ready to bed a super model, but bitching at her for the color of her nail polish. Forrest for the trees man.
my god IS that GS back? I thought we’d got rid of him a bit too easily….certainly has the same arrogance as the original wankster….
So as an American we reference history with 50’s, 60’s, 70’s etc…. Now that we understand that, those years is considered one. I couldve put 90’s on side the car, but spelling out ninety made more since but im sure you guys with all this extra time would have another forum about that as well. all this talent wasted on creating pages just to gossip to walk pass the people you talk about with your head down. I spoke loud with the car police love me because they know I work to take care of my family. So all you mommas boys sitting at home in your parents suburban pad basement driving there previously owned car enjoy your waste of life.
If your the owner of this car i I have to know why you think this ok. Our generation, which isn’t just the 90s btw, is probably one of the worst generations in history. I say that being born in Dec. ’89. Just because you happen to have a job doesn’t change the fact that this generation is one of the laziest, dumbest, and most irresponsible in every way, generation to have ever walked the face of the earth. It’s certainly nothing to boast about and certainly not better then our parents or especially our grand parents.
Its a car. not a person. its a “97” lumina why am I even being considered?
Born in ’88.
I second everything you’ve just said.
Someone should text this homie and ask him what it all means.
its possible he has a 90 year old sugar mama
Its a Donk…….really, who even looks any closer? The rest just follows form. They are all craptastic by definition.
DA-FUQ is this moron thinking….Someone needs a Chuck Norris style roundhouse kick to the jaw…might knock something loose that seems to been seizedup for some time….
What a great day! An F’d up car , dopey humor, a little irony, personal experience, grammatical training, pure nonsensical statements, BMcT blows up, BL dumps on him; I call that Success! What’s up for Friday Brian?
My family wonders why I won’t move back to Detroit.
the bigger question is why anyone would spend any money (at all) on a 90s Lumina, or any Lumina for that matter. Almost any car would make a better Donk, hell even an Ambassador 4 door would be better.
I saw this at the 2013 Woodward cruise and thought it was funny as hell too!
It was a joke for the guys in there “donk’s”. 80’s 70’s chevy cars with terrible gas mileage on there big wheels and carbureted motors. Also, the 2005 and newer Chevrolet vehicles lifespan are around 7 years. To the spelling, during the creation of the car 90’s baby just didn’t fit the scheme of the car with the two oversized numbers. Spelling nineties correctly defeated the purpose so to get the “90” feel I simply spelt out ninety and hung the ‘s behind and it fit perfect. The cartoon character name is Calvin by the way and if the faygo pop wasn’t in my hand I would’ve used my finger.
Actually it’s not Calvin, because Bill Watterson (creator) never consented to commercialize Calvin’s likeness and he’s not happy about all those decals. Just clearing that up.
Nick, thank you for speaking your mind. There are a lot of people on the site who don’t understand and want to hate on anything they don’t like. Not just your car, but they hate on manufacturers they don’t like, hot rodding styles and trends, and anything else that comes to mind.
Now that you explained, I understand your car, and more power to you. Kudos on customizing your car and making a statement, even if it goes over some people’s heads.
Well there went 10 minutes of my life I can never get back… lol