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Scrapple, Your Guide To The “meh”-worthy News: The New Mitsubishi SUV, The New Big Caddy, And Your New Mustache Ride!


Scrapple, Your Guide To The “meh”-worthy News: The New Mitsubishi SUV, The New Big Caddy, And Your New Mustache Ride!

Another week, another weak set of stories that came down the pipes in the vain hopes that someone would take the time to read them. Do they appeal to somebody? Maybe, but as far as we’re concerned, everything that isn’t worth mentioning is only worthy of being bashed together, covered in enough cheese to block up a blue whale and served with a 55-gallon drum of hot sauce so that you can have a little flavor. Here’s the Scrapple selection for the week:

1. Mitsubishi is going to show a possibly new SUV at Chicago

mitsu

 

The current Mitsubishi SUV, the Outlander, is a sorry followup to the Montero and Montero Sport, two legit and underrated badasses from Mitsubishi’s better days. However, there are certain stirrings coming from Mitsubishi that indicate that some kind of SUV concept will appear at the Chicago Auto Show. Call us skeptical if you want, but Mitsu has been circling the drain for a while now while spilling some deluded crap about electric vehicles and performance SUVs. It’s gonna take a lot more than a rewarmed version of the “CG-PHEV” concept pictured above to make an impact.

2. Cadillac will show the CT6 in New York, will be on sale later this year

ct6 render

 

The upcoming Cadillac CT6, the new “big” Caddy (for the time being, anyways) has been confirmed to appear at the New York Auto Show on March 31st. Many are hoping that the car will take most of it’s visual cues from the OH MY GOD sexy El Miraj concept car, but if the above rendering is any indication, there will be a LOT of disappointment. But don’t show it around Cadillac CEO Johan de Nysschen unless you want a berating on why you are wrong and he is right.

3. Jeep Renegade prices leaked…

2015 Jeep Renegade Latitude

 

Prices were leaked for BangShift’s whipping-boy of the moment, the Jeep Renegade. The cute-ute will start at $17,995 for the base model and go all the way to $25,995 for the top-of-the-line TrailHawk. You know what else you could buy for $25,995? An XJ Cherokee and a ton of killer off-road parts. Your choice.

4. Porsche Owners Club of America members get a special edition Porsche. 

porsche

As if Porsche owners need any other reason to feel special, the company has decided that it was time to reward the Porsche Club of America owners with their own special edition of the 911. Called the 911 GTS Club Coupe, it’s a GTS with the wider body of a Carrera 4 and…y’know what…if you honestly care about a $136,000 special-edition Porsche, you can do the research. It’s a blue 911 that Porsche is making for the pinnacle of Porsche owners…which sounds like the topmost spine on a saguaro cactus.

5. Lyft replaces the big pink furry mustache with…another pink mustache!

prius mustache ride

Lyft, the hipster’s version of calling a f*@!-ing cab, has decided to ditch the big-ass pink furry mustaches that drivers would adorn their car with in favor of…and I’m not making this shit up, I swear…a pink “mustache light” dash piece that lights up. No, really…here it is:

glow mustache

Lemme get this straight: A pink mustache, be it big and furry or glow-in-the-dark, is less creepy than a taxi cab. Gotcha.


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2 thoughts on “Scrapple, Your Guide To The “meh”-worthy News: The New Mitsubishi SUV, The New Big Caddy, And Your New Mustache Ride!

  1. Chevy Hatin' Mad Geordie

    Bad idea!

    At least with the pink mustache on the grille you’ve got a good idea that your’e going to get your back door busted in if you get into this cab……

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