Welcome back to the table of plenty! Whether you are swimming in your front yard out west, digging your car out of a snowbank in the Northeast, or enjoying the storms that are blowing through the Plains, winter is still hanging with us, whether we like it or not. At least we are seeing the early signs of spring…no, not crocus flowers popping up, we mean the early races of the year, like the Winternationals out at Pomona! So belly up for a plate full of refried news bites and be patient, folks…winter is almost over.

1. But isn’t the trunk the safest place for kids?

On the Tesla Model S, there are two rear-facing jump seats that are an option and have been since the model came out. It’s kind of a cool throwback to the days of the rear-facing station wagon seat that allowed your little brats to flip off everyone you drove by on your road trips. But those wagons have been gone for so long that when a Santa Clarita, California police officer was informed that a man was shoving kids into the trunk of his car, that guns were drawn in anticipation of a potential kidnapping. Luckily, no charges were filed and the officer was taught something new about the electro-status mobile.

2. Now that isn’t fair, is it, gentlemen?

Automated toll road collection systems are a royal pain in the ass. (Trust us, we speak from experience, Denver…) but the law is the law: drive through and pay the toll, or expect a bill to arrive at your house. The problem with those systems is that there are plate-defeat devices that you can put onto your car that obscures parts of your license plate in any view besides dead-on straight…which an Inside Edition reporter found on numerous vehicles around New York police precinct headquarters. And yes, they belonged to some of the boys in blue, because there were placards on the dashboard in plain sight announcing as such. The NYPD and the Philiadelphia, PA police department are investigating…

3. Shoe Or Car? 

Do you see how the “E” is styled in the word “Tesla” there? That was to be the symbol for the Model 3, the upcoming reasonably-priced Tesla that is due out soon. Now, do a search for the Adidas symbol…yes, Adidas, as in running shoes and sports apparel. Adidas believes that the three-bar symbol was “likely to cause confusion” between the two brands and filed a challenge to prevent Tesla from using it. Tesla voluntarily withdrew the tri-bar logo and instead will use a numerical “3” instead, because common sense doesn’t exist anymore.

4. takata out $1B

The monstrous scandal that is rooted with Takata airbag inflators has reached another milestone: $1 billion in penalties will be paid as Takata admitted guilt in hiding information about the miniature pipe bombs that were installed as airbag inflators. The payment includes a $25 million fine to the United States and $975 million to compensate auto manufacturers who found themselves with loads of vehicles under recall and the families of the injured and dead. In addition, three former Takata executives have been charged for their roles in the coverup, but since they are Japanese citizens, they aren’t in U.S. custody.

5. WE HAVE ENOUGH SUVs ALREADY!

This is the 2012 Lamborghini Urus concept vehicle. Unfortunately, a pre-production model in camouflage has been spotted, confirming that a four-door Lamborghini SUV is indeed coming. 4.0L twin-turbocharged V8, a price tag somewhere between “nice house” and “nice ranch”, and a flock of celebrity buyers frothing at the mouth will be coming once production starts up in April. Do we have enough driving barns now? Are there any more left? Maybe someone can resurrect Lola Cars to see if they’d be interested in building a lithe people mover…