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Unhinged: Do You Want Lincoln To Die? Because This Is How Lincoln Will Die.


Unhinged: Do You Want Lincoln To Die? Because This Is How Lincoln Will Die.

Lincoln has been on the verge of death for years, it’s no secret. The Navigator and fleet sales of the Town Car kept things afloat, but when the Town Car got axed a couple of years back, Lincoln officially made it onto the Death Watch List…yet somehow hasn’t kicked the bucket yet. Part of me really wants to see Lincoln make something great. I’m a fan of the Town Cars, the Continentals, and especially the more menacing generations of the Mark series. I would sincerely hope that someone at the storied brand can get their head out of wherever it’s currently at and get it back above water before the ship goes down. And I’ll say, after driving a MKZ, that there is hope that if the right people get their way, there’s a chance of it happening, however slim.

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Remember when Lincolns could look good?

However, instead of looking at a better Navigator, or a reborn Mark IX based on a stretched Mustang, or a small yet powerful Zephyr to compete with the Caddy ATS, the powers that be at Lincoln has been investing their time (and assuredly, their money) into developing a smell. Yes, a f***ing perfume. Because that’s exactly what a dying automotive brand needs to hustle out a gussied-up Ford Fusion. Try to not bruise your forehead when you facepalm after reading that. Here’s the combination to this smell that’s supposed to win over the Lincoln buyer: hints of green tea, jasmine and tonka. Yes, I had to make sure tonka was an aroma (it’s a South American bean that has hints of vanilla and spice)…I was picturing a salesman beating an octogenarian over the head with a metal Tonka Dump Truck while screaming, “BUY THIS CAR! IT’S NICE! IT’S DEPENDABLE! IT’S STYLISH! BUY IT!!!

Oddly, I think that would work better at selling Lincolns than just a pleasant smell.

Here’s an actual quote from the press release:

“In Essence of Lincoln, (Rene Morgenthaler, master perfumer for SensoryMax, created of eau du Lincoln) infused top notes of green tea (to encourage a sense of upscale well-being) with undertones of jasmine and tonka (to create a relaxing atmosphere). Together they form a fragrance that exudes luxury and warmth.”

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Better than the hints of eau du personne âgée that have been lingering in Lincoln dealerships for years, I guess. But in the meantime, I highly doubt that a perfume is going to pick up Lincoln’s sales pace. They need to focus on the cars before they focus on boxing up their desks or worse, figuring out how to make a Fiesta luxurious.

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9 thoughts on “Unhinged: Do You Want Lincoln To Die? Because This Is How Lincoln Will Die.

  1. BeaverMartin

    I couldn’t agree more. Lincoln threw in the towel to Cadillac long ago. Everyone admires the old long and low Lincolns. They need to dust off the plans for the 64 Continental, drop in a 5.0 and a herds worth of leather. Would sell like hot cakes. Every rapper in the world would kick off the craze. Follow up with a 5.0 LS to compete with the CTS, call the coupe version the Mark X. Marquee saved.

  2. Kenneth

    The problem is perspective in my rather worthless opinion. Lincoln went from competing with the world’s luxury brands to a mid level brand sometime during the malaise era. We still think of Lincoln as a top teir brand but it hasn’t been that for a long time. Everyone talks about Lincoln’s heyday like they were this awesome yet relatively cheap car. They seem to forget that those killer 60’s Continentals weren’t priced with Cadillac they were priced with Rolls Royce. Quality costs and there was no reason not to move Lincoln down into the lo the higher margin higher volume higher profit position. Personally I think Lincoln will be fine now that Mercury, Jaguar, and Aston are gone. More important however may be that Mullai is gone. Like McNamara and Henry Ford before him Mullay believed that there should be only brand at FoMoCo and was more than willing to let Lincoln die from neglect. I believe that with a little tlc the brand will rise again just as it did when McNamara moved on to do Vietnam.

  3. john

    Ford should stop trying to compete in the luxury market…that ship has sailed! They should switch to the sports/ hotrod market. Quiet…can’t you hear “Hot rod Lincoln ” playing in the background? 🙂

  4. Mercury Man

    I have owned a few Lincoln’s and still drive an Aviator, my family has had a long relationship with the LM brand way back to the early 1950’s.
    I have predicted the demise of the Brand for quite a while. I also was very sad to see Mercury go away, I have owned and still own Mercury’s.
    My opinion is the FOMOCO has their head so far up their behind that they cannot save Lincoln, it’s just too late. They should have focused on one market and tried to be the best in it. Instead they kept changing direction and did it so much that they got lost in the maze of compition. Too bad…………..

  5. anthony

    I cant believe im reading such bulls#!t. What a bunch of f’n idiots! Do they have a crew of 22 year old girls running that company? They need new LSC’s and Continentals not dorked up Fords. And not perfume. If anything it should smell like Johnny Walker black not green tea.

  6. Fiatdude

    The last Lincoln I owned was a Mark LT — — Man, I LOVED that truck — —

    But a 18 wheeler took it and 12 other cars out on the Freeway one day,,, It was munched beyond recognition, but I walked away with a sore neck…… But by then, LM had moved on from the truck business and I had to buy a Ford truck, I know, I know they were the same,,, but just didn’t have the same feel to it, so I sold it after a couple of years, and bought me a 78 dually to drive around………….

  7. Lee

    Lincoln will have good company when Ford pulls the plug on it and they will. Chrysler dumped Plymouth, GM dumped Pontiac and Olds . . . now it’s Ford’s turn to dump an underperforming Brand.

  8. Russ

    It makes perfects sense to me. With styling like that they are going to need to appeal to vision impaired drivers.

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