Next to screwing up a free lunch, wrecking your car and/or causing serious damage to it while inside a car wash seems a tough thing to do. At some places you literally drive in, pull up until a little red light comes on and then wait until the green light comes on to leave. Apes have been trained to do more complicated tasks…and yet we have all of the videos below. From two morons who lose the handle on a high pressure hose, allowing said hose to beat and torment them, to an old man who freaked out and wrecked both ends of his car along with the vast majority of an automated car wash because he wasn’t happy with waiting, these videos showcase a dimly lit corner of the populous that we should all fear.

Each video is seemingly more surreal than the next. From the guy getting a door ripped off to the dude who amazingly got out of his car and then felt the wrath of the washing rig, there’s no telling what was happening when these Einsteins made their decision to “break” the rules inside the sanctuary of the car wash. We don’t know how this stuff happens but we’re damned happy that it was caught on tape.

SCROLL DOWN TO SEE AN ABSOLUTELY UNMATCHED PARADE OF CRAZINESS AND STUPIDITY!

Imagine if you will, a car wash so agressive and terrifying that two grown men are powerless to harness its power. These two unfortunate souls showed up to wash their yellow Jeep but instead found themselves getting their asses kicked by a hose and water. Seriously.

This video appears to come from Europe. We say that because of the long license plate on the car. This driver must have had something very scary happen inside his car while he was sitting in the middle of the automated car wash. Why else would he get out? Our favorite part is when the driver walks off camera covered in foamy soap. There is no limit to human stupidity.

This genius is in the middle of the wash cycle with the unit working around his Chevy Suburban. All seems to be OK until the guy notices something he wants to grab off the windshield. His timing is amazing because as he opens his door, the wash unit slides back and effectively tries to rip said door off the truck. Now completely stuck, the wash unit begins to drag the truck backward until the driver can force it out of danger after ripping his door closed. Wow.

This video, research tells us is of an old man who got tired of waiting to have his car pulled into the car wash and flipped out. This guy goes totally nuts and manages to wreck both ends of his car, crash an innocent victim, and attempt to destroy the very car wash that was about to tidy up his automobile. Luckily no one appears to ger hurt, but this guy completed loses it and his car is the one that bears the brunt of his nuttiness.