There are many things we are still trying to sort out about the 2003 Cadillac DeVille we found earlier this week. Things like how they wedged the sledgehammer of a big-block crate Chevrolet under the hood, or how the rear-drive conversion happened, or if every last gadget inside still works. Other than the scooped hood, which appears to be a necessity, and the “I dare you” exhaust note, overall this Caddy could pass for any of the ones I see roaming around BangShift Mid-West. But none of them, not a single solitary one, can do what this great white whale can. Aussie readers, we know your opinions on metal plate burnouts, but even you have to admit that for a street car on stock-ish sized tires, that this big barge puts on a hell of a show. That kind of fogbank doesn’t come from a front-wheel-drive Northstar, and it takes the kind of grunt that can alter the Earth’s rotation to accomplish.

We aren’t just impressed, we are absolutely floored. Now, can someone go ahead and shove an 8.1 into a late 1990s Eldorado Touring Coupe?