It cranks and cranks, but just won’t kick over. And you can hear the battery winding down and you curse and pray simultaneously for the damn thing to just start. Soon, you get the clicking of death that means it’s all over…your rotted turd of a car has won this battle and you’re sitting in your driveway, in the miserable cold, wondering who you’re going to call: the wife who has been telling you to get rid of the car forever, your friend that is going to give you a heaping load of hell about it, or the taxi driver who is going to take the long way just because. All unpleasant scenarios, absolutely. Yet, when you go to a parts store, all you see tends to be myths and words that even chemical engineers struggle to pronounce: tetra ethylene? Bovem de-stercore? mendacium? You stand there and end up selecting the most attractive can, hoping you bought the right product. Wouldn’t you like a clearer name, one that tells you exactly what you’re buying and what it will do? I know I would.

Some names make sense, like Lucas Oil Treatment: It’s made by Lucas, it treats oil. Got it. Some are kind of out there, like Dr. Tranny’s Shudder Remover. But if we want to face facts, the truth is that the general public doesn’t give a flying rat’s tail end about what the names mean, they need simple and straightforward. Seriously, Seafoam? I’m sure some idiot drove down to the Pacific Coast and started scooping up what was on top of the water because he didn’t want to spend a few bucks.

A couple of comedians from the Australian comedy show Full Frontal thought the same thing. Here’s their take on Wynn’s products:

And if you’re not about the comedy, Australia has a real product for you to try as well. You’ll find it next to the Shitbox Oil (no, I’m not kidding, either):