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This Five-Year-Old Has The Coolest Toys Ever! Handbrakes, Fast, And She Can Drive Them Too!


This Five-Year-Old Has The Coolest Toys Ever! Handbrakes, Fast, And She Can Drive Them Too!

When I was five years old, I had a Big Wheel, one of the original red and yellow ones, and my little brother had a Big Wheel that was supposed to be Knight Rider themed. No, it didn’t give him chest hair and a leather jacket (that’s another story for another time…like never, ever) but it was blacked out and had the little noisemaker on a rear wheel. Along with some other kids in the neighborhood who had them, we’d haul them up to the top of Windsor Avenue, point them down the hill towards the yuppie couple’s house with the matching BMW 3-series parked out front, and drag race them all day long. The goal was to make the turnoff into my grandfather’s front lawn, which was nice and soft. Sometimes that happened. Sometimes I missed the driveway, hit the curb and went rolling. Once I bounced off of a BMW. Whoops.

In nearly thirty years’ time, I find myself jealous of kids toys today. Take Lila Kalis’ rides: the Corvette and the Porsche are both legitimately quick and the Corvette even has a freaking handbrake. The Porsche skips the handbrake for tunes, but that isn’t exactly a loss either! I’d have been king of the neighborhood if I had a Power Wheels that could haul ass and play music! The cool part is that not only can Lila tell you about what she’s rolling, she can drive it too…like powerslide into a parking space drive it. Yeah, the little kid in me is very, very jealous.


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