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Unknown Parts Counter Guy: Fuel Additives And Rear-End Lube, Now With New Grape Scent!


Unknown Parts Counter Guy: Fuel Additives And Rear-End Lube, Now With New Grape Scent!

For every part and piece that is in the store that qualifies as “useful”, there are probably five items that are simply crap. Stickers, license plate frames, Tweety Bird floor mats, the cheapest stereo equipment known to man, hubcaps, and a myriad of useless chromed plastic stick-on baubles that should have never been approved for sale in the first place all haunt that one aisle. But what if I was to tell you that the “Fast and Furious” aisle in your local store wasn’t even the worst offender for strange, useless and outright humorous items? It’s true. You might have seen the prank involving Fel-Pro P/N 35643 (the water pump gasket for a 1997 Toyota Tacoma that looks more than a little bit phallic) but the latest batch of “WTF?!” finds have left me shaking my head. They exist. You can go online or to a dealership and buy them. Check them out:

watermelon-fuel-additive

Allstar Performance Fuel Fragrances: Ever wanted your car’s exhaust to smell like something else? To be fair, I can admit that I have…burned race fuel. I could enjoy the odor of race fuel coming from the daily beater, couldn’t you? But that’s just the tip of the iceberg: in a couple seconds’ worth of Google shopping, I found ways to make your car’s exhaust smell like watermelon, blueberry, cinnamon, cherry, tangerine and “Reefer Madness”. One bottle of this stuff will mix with gasoline, nitromethane, alcohol and diesel, and encourages people to huff your exhaust fumes to smell simulated fruit or weed…this was a good idea?! Why stop at fruit smells? I wanna smell some barbecue diesel, dammit! Roll coal and make me hungry while you’re at it! Where’s the slow-roasted brisket mix? But wait, there’s more…

grape-lube

We have to give credit to Andrew Rickard for tipping us off to the fact that you can go to a parts counter at nearly any GM dealership, order up this particular formula of axle lubricant, and you’ll be rewarded with…yeah, it’s there and no, it’s not photoshopped…a “new grape scent”. Anybody who knows the smell of gear oil knows that it’s scent could stand to be improved, but two thoughts occurred to me:

1. Why would you try to fix what isn’t broke? I don’t care if gear oil smells like the back end of a hippopotamus with indigestion…if it keeps my rear axle alive, pump it in the case!

2. …why grape?! Pardon the crude reference, but putting grape scent on top of gear oil is like spraying an orange air freshener after demolishing the toilet: “shitrus”. You’re just layering smells, not making the worse one disappear. I can spray the lilac air freshener in the bathroom all I want, but it’s still gonna smell like I cleaned myself with a spring bouquet after the fact. So what if your nostrils are offended…it’s gear oil. Get over it!

For the love of all that is holy…what’s next?

pumpkin-spice

 


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11 thoughts on “Unknown Parts Counter Guy: Fuel Additives And Rear-End Lube, Now With New Grape Scent!

  1. Stich626

    Another “claimed” parts counter rant..
    The fuel sent is silly but there is a bunch of hippies and the new hippies (hipsters) that I can see buying this.. Is the maker of the product stupid if it sells??
    As far as the gear lube..
    Go look at the amount most vehicles use?? is it 2 full bottles ? o 3 full bottles, no it’s not.. so you end up with some extra left over.. Not everyone has a shop that they are going to call a garage,, many have a garage that is under the living space and that extra gear lube will be stored there,, and any you get on the floor will smell there.. To the author, would you rather the smell coming from your garage under the family room to smell of grape or 100 thousand mile gear lube?
    I know it’s hard to think this way when you are building a large by huge shop, but some don’t have that.

  2. john

    Please…no catnip scent motor oil. There is enough “pureed cat ( no p jokes)” come the winter. 🙂

  3. Nick D.

    I work at a GM dealership and me and another tech saw the “new grape scent” gear lube. We cracked open a bottle and smelled it aaaaaandddddd, nope, still smells like regular gear lube.

      1. Matt Cramer

        Could be that one of the additives smelled a little like grapes and they thought it was a good joke to note that on the label.

  4. Paul Jordan

    I know a lot of guys run scented top lube with their methanol drag cars. Not sure how that smell would blend with regular gas though.

  5. keezling

    Grape scented gear oil has been used in certain Mopar diffs for many years. It’s an identifier for what type fluid to use. Makes it easy!

  6. greg

    One of the warehouses here in town says he sells a ton on the “reefer madness” fuel smell stuff to people who put it cop cars.

  7. Matt Cramer

    Here in Georgia, there’s grapes that smell like diesel oil. Got some growing on my back yard’s fence. I guess it’s come full circle.

  8. DanStokes

    Where can I get the pumpkin spiced Mobil 10w40? It doesn’t seem to be available here. Does Starbucks carry it?

    Dan

  9. Larry R

    me I always Liked the cinnamon Fuel smell of the Jolly Rancher Wheel Standers Both the Fire Truck & Stage Coach,
    Thanks Ed (outlaw ) Jones
    Then again the smell of Nitro in the morning is best!

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