After a rough debut at the 24 Hours of Daytona and issues at the 12 hours of Sebring Ford Performance has made a bold change and fired the entire engineering department involved with the Ford GT program and turned all of the duties over to the popular “Sloppy Mechanics” Facebook page. This news comes on the heels of leaked testing information that shows the cars struggling to perform ahead of their expected European competition debut soon. One unnamed Ford exec said, “Look, we have spent like a gazillion bucks on this program and right now the Corvettes are making us look bad. Sure, those guys have been at it longer with their stuff but we can’t just sit here and let this happen, we thought it was time for a new direction and the Sloppy Mechanics guys asked to be paid like 14 dollars and a pack of gum. They promised us results.”
Matt Happel, the main man behind Sloppy Mechanics was happy with the developments but says that there is a new direction coming for the Ford GT. “While it is tough to argue with the aerodynamic looks of the car, we know that we need to up the reliability and performance of it,” he said. “Our plan is to Sawzall the body off the chassis, mount it on the floor pan of a 1977 Mercury Zephyr and go from there. A junkyard turbocharged LS3 should probably get us close on power and one of the guys has developed a dry sump pump from an old dishwasher that’ll stop us from having any oiling issues.” He then asked if there were any rules against running four lug axles on the car.
While largely unfamiliar with the world of international road racing, Ford leaders have few doubts that the Sloppy Mechanics crew will be up to the task. “We think that there is some value on their plan to flat tow the car behind a Ford transit van because it will help with brand recognition and they have agreed to live in the actual van.” Happel was slightly confused when we asked him about the car’s ability to handle the challenging corners at many of the tracks the swoopy machine will compete at, “Corners? Like onto the return road?”
We’re going to continue to follow this and any other developments as the story progresses.
to many April fools jokes today
pretty weak 4/1 stuff BS, had higher expectations
No LS3 for sloppy. Try LM7 or LQ4.
April fools work better if the article is at least a little bit plausible.
I already got my $14, still waiting on the gum.
You are all wieners. I got a great kick out of this.
Sloppy mechanics is smoke and mirrors. There is a lot of banjo playing going on.
Ford has money unlike sloppy junk trash
https://youtu.be/2mClfU2NStY
I think this is a sloppy recruitment video
Awww, look at all the butthurt ford fanboys.
Look, just tell ford to manufacture a decent engine (or series of engines), or, at the very least, put together a decent “supercar.”
No need to get so cranky!