Former F1 Driver Piquet Jr. Heads to NASCAR, BangShift.com Lends Advice

[cjforumadmin]

http://www.bangshift.com/blog/Former-F1-Driver-Piquet-Jr.-Heads-to-NASCAR.html

[tigeraid]

Re: Former F1 Driver Piquet Jr. Heads to NASCAR, BangShift.com Lends Advice

At first I wondered "how the hell can Red Horse Racing hire a cheater like this?" Cheating is nothing new in F1, and while it happens in NASCAR, it's rare and frowned on heavily. Then I remembered Piquet is a millionare and is probably paying for the seat--so I guess I can't blame RHR.

On the other hand, I can't wait to see the first time he tries some shit with Todd Bodine or Matt Crafton and gets his ass put in the wall.

[studemax]

Re: Former F1 Driver Piquet Jr. Heads to NASCAR, BangShift.com Lends Advice

No need for snootiness, guys.
(You can however make fun of his 6 names)
My guess is he will be quick study, but don't look for him to win races.

(and he was ordered to cheat, by the way - team order nastiness, again)

[38P]

Re: Former F1 Driver Piquet Jr. Heads to NASCAR, BangShift.com Lends Advice

Good advice, Brian.

Here's what "Mr. Renault, Jr." should read between the lines.

--There are far fewer buttons on the steering wheel of a stock car
(even fewer than on a $13,000 street car, not that there's anything remotely "stock" about a NASCAR)

--You'll need to throw out your book of high falutin' European racing terminology and boil it down to "loose" and "tight"
(You've got to say 'em "LEWWWSSUH" and "THIGH-EAT"or they'll never understand you. And be careful how you use those new words away from the track--especially around the ladies . . . .)

--When Jimmy Spencer interviews you, realize that it is not an animal on his head. You stand no risk of whatever it is that resides on his dome leaping off and causing you harm.
(Can't say the same thing for Fox TV's "Digger." And it's still probably a good idea to keep your distance from "Mr. Excitement" . . . 2x when there's a car within proximity)

--There are still scads of hot chicks at the races.
(only remember that: (1) "hot" down South is a synonym for "sweaty," (2) You'll see a lot fewer teeth, (3) most of the best "chicks" are crazy for "Junior," (4) when some "hot chick" drawls out "JUUUNEUURRRR!" she's not talking to/about you.)

--There is a lever sticking up through the floor of the car, this is known as a shifter. There are no paddles beind the steering wheel. You'll need to move this device in an H pattern to move through the gears.
(except that sometimes that huge lever will look a lot more like a Vicegrips wrapped in 200 m.p.h. tape . . . .)

--There are only four gears. That's not a misprint. Four forward gears
(and NASCAR won't hardly let you ever use them)

--You'll never have to race in the rain again!
(but you will enjoy interminable rain delays)

--No one will ask you to wreck your car on purpose. . . .
(No, they will gladly HELP you wreck your car on purpose)

[kotsenieric]

Re: Former F1 Driver Piquet Jr. Heads to NASCAR, BangShift.com Lends Advice

My advise for NP? Go talk to Juan Pablo Montoya, and keep off Jacques Villeneueve :D