Random Thought Thread

[RustyRodder]

Jeep Comanches are damn impossible to find in decent shape...

[Barry Donovan]

Talked with a human today. Wow.

A rep for the V.A. that I chose some time back. My case is as "ancient" as a viet nam guy apparently.
26 years ago it began...easy to talk public anyway.
I now know it is a given that I will be in the system and gaining the first tiers of help. That is a big relief.
This means health pursuit follows.

A turn in the conversation for the "super hero mode" of V.A. is an epiphany that a leader is covering the man hours that killed me.
Knowing how military works, my time and skills and actions in order would just create more silence again.

it will never be repeated.
I may even get a military lawyer.

The rep was very cool, easy going. I feel now , like I thought all along, my story should be comparable to similar scenarios. I am also hoping, no one gets in any trouble. I remember all my coworkers as very good. The last month of my time got some praising words of a missing medal (I still do not know what it is- I did not know what those awards were for). I knew then we all as a whole did something way beyond the norm.

Imagine living with a void that halted your life? Everything you say is like talking to an abyss. Tell tale sign of a leader problem.
When this goes through at its best, my next vow is volunteering veteran work. My realm is the 22 suicides a day.

[Barry Donovan]

checklist for beating someone in blind rage to near death:

(of course I am not serious, never fought a day in my life. I was even living in ghettos.)

• bass tunnel public housing thumping the rubber ball of a giant building
• short, bald, pretending handsome..
  • of course wears the wife beater water inflated arms white and glowing bloodless.
• Car: mr beachy 3000 one inch off the ground.
  • of course the wobbling dildo has an exhaust leak
• overheard sex life permeating the halls with mustache lady
• asked politely to turn the bass side of music down...3 times.

one thing holding me back...
a phone call today.
I have a military pension coming through. This place gathers the end of the world, because it is.
If these people had any idea what I know of this town before this building was even here, how much is lost...

I'll be moving on.
survivors do.

While being primitive and stuck like my neighbor, a funny name game came about as I pretend my own is royal..

• last name rhymes with manson.

lets all pretend we can wear wife beater shirts... and play sexy and gangsta elite.
Another thing holds me back, as I am from a colorful busy city..

3 of the 25 here are disabled vets.
I know of 1 elderly school teacher, obvious retired..

the other 21 are here just for the sake of getting into housing.
Scary statistic isn't it.

I chose to come back out here... I do have a trauma of young friends lost. My leap of faith is literal, and figurative is the 200 year old church right next door. Military taught me something interesting... face it and move on.

EDIT:
wait.
there was one fight, and the guy was apologetic afterward. May have been looking for someone else. I am a commoner I guess.
my reaction was to leap up and punch him between the eyes..
knocked that big guy right over.

the only swing during the bizarre episode.

[Barry Donovan]

watching live the outcome for tsaernev (the boston bomber brother)

I hope its life in prison, and not death.
He was a subordinate to the older brother...I spotted that on one of the video clips of them walking around.
Freakier than that, he actually killed his own brother, after running him over...he killed the bomber.
age 18, 19.. not much to be that angry about at that age is another factor, he was a boy following.

Mass. is not dumb with the law.. hope that continues.

I am in the first spring here in this little town since I was a kid. just before joining the military.
the camp I lived in is still standing.

I was some hungry. Ate venison. Free food from a korean vet who had a food cupboard.
We got along.

The aroma of when things sprite in the spring.
Absolutely incredible. Almost enough for a headache. Beautiful pain.
Trees grow so fast, the roots crinkle like dried autumn leaves...you would look for a little critter moving around.

A very bright star, the north. The sun plays a trick and looks like it is settling there.
"The farther north you see the dusk, the hotter the summer will be" -
the guy who said that to me passed on a few years ago. Lived here his whole life.

hummingbirds like my window...as if to hover and peek inside. it may be the sugar in all the coffee I drink.
There is some bushes they are taking to by nature.

pork tenderloin cooked in bacon fat, some taters.
A little tobacco and a night walk.
A tv heard from a thin walled mobile home across the way..it changed shape to the softening ground.

I ponder an element of time, strong enough to tell you like it will be.
I guess I have something coming from the v.a. as good news this time.
I'll be moving on again.
the head pain is wounds, but not from here.

if more people found freedom this quietly...after a 6 month winter to wait for it.
rather humble. It is strength to just be standing here...in this calm perfect place.

edit:
fom the bold words above, I found that veteran. Coincidentally passed on within days of when I moved back here, last year.
probably impolite to announce his name, but the korean conflict is in his obituary. RIP age 80.
His stories were very true.

This must tally at least 30 people from this one small place... and I am the one who was certain to go first. I joined for a war.


1990 or so.. the korean vet was in his 50s. WW2 vets were still amazing and out and about..and viet nam vets bought us 18 year olds some beer to have some buddies to drink with.
Me? I was strangely a focus after the 20 years of no wars at all...age 18 with a war on t.v.
I swear, I am going to write a story. Too young to be that patient.. I hope I get old enough.

As a whole picture.. nothing seems positive. Defense hides it.

my defense medal is 25 years old.. and it is still a young problem to the V.A.

[Barry Donovan]

a real fight, military special forces in syria.
hand to hand combat was in the mix.
way to kick some butt...up close.

I was up close to a lot of fighter jets, a10 was still active as well. They were on real missions, iraq related, no fly zone, cleaning up a mess etc.
Seemed like we were not doing much. Just one of those fighters can do a whole lot..
needed another perspective once and awhile.

I had a secret desire to be a ground pounder.

[Barry Donovan]

oldest living thing

ocean quohog. or called

"arctica islandica" -
507 years.
I liked that one, found in north atlantic. Close by to me..

The turtle comes in second.

it is healthier in arctic waters than on land, and in the tropics, the land is good...

every living longevity needs a hard shell apparently, no matter where they be.
Tropics one can live alone, arctic has a huddling family.

I was watching a narcissistic video..worlds most beautiful people by som strange statistics.
My natural is taller women, and found scandinavia or especially danish.

I am headed to the tropics to live alone in my shell...
I am not huddling with a family of quohogs to stay alive.

[Barry Donovan]

when public housing window..
needs a/c.
this is a true story. Do not try at home.


being the badass of wartime ingenuity. Public housing and I work great together. If the measurements fall onto a table top with bullet holes riddled through it. Still better than an open window...and oh look, its got air conditioning!

When I learned how the sliding window worked by taking it apart... look out world. All I needed was some framing to fill it in above air conditioner..which has just 1.25 inches to spare on either side of it.

urban developoment housing, its great for challenging people to death! That window design was and is the dumbest thing ever put upon mankind!


when fred the maintenance man saw this...his reaction was not as expected. He got right to work and helped me put something together. We made mends without words I guess. I had a little problem with fred. Action does more...quibbling aside. A military thing to learn.

As the true story goes, I had a medical reaction yesterday, including an embarrassing finale of self defecation (I may have been 2 years old the last time that happened). Choking, wheezing like emphysema, throat closing, my world was ending. Through choking vomit and cussing delusionally about a polychlorinated biphenyl from an anything but nuclear leak in new york... I built the first version of air conditioner install myself from junk. Lugged the 65 pound air conditioner around like a toy.. to save my own damn life.

I donated the trusty genuine matsushita panasonic air conditioner to this building because of the effort. That fit is just too priceless. The next tenant needs to do nothing in this housing for disabled..

I spelled heaven wrong.. because I am the devil.

in other news, as I chose to talk wherever about my 25 year old veterans case coming to light..
Toxic Encephalopathy

...is a word I vaguely remember from 1997. Choosing any one of many subjects, would carry me through to some silly rating at the V.A. I have four subjects each on their own is life altered to disabled, by law. I am just one person. Enough for hysteria, or crazy psychosis to realize it. I am the last generation swimming in jp-4, manual log files, and treated like an animal because no one really kept track. That is a good thing to know...as my co workers in leadership, all very good people. That is about the only thing I have going for me. The rest is the real hazards inevitable. System less than perfect. Just as old and flawed as viet nam.

my time ended with brain dysfunction...unidentified. my sister told what LOD was. It means line of duty. She herself has laughed out loud at my case. Hysteria is a family trait to false truth. Even a psychiatrist tackled my problems. I called him crazy, still mean it today.
when this is all said and done and proper... I am going to find a real veterans magazine or website, and let the world see how freaking crazy real disabled vets get treated...

this could be the month in weeks ahead. Steps in the right direction.

If a piece of chicken from burger king tries to kill you...
Go home and cook a real piece. It kills the weaker chicken, trying to kill you.
Don't let the lard go.. take it all in. Part chicken is much worse than a whole chicken.
You want the whole chicken. No fake chicken.

[Barry Donovan]

nickname generator

---

I have tried using bits of my own name.

bar don.

I literally did not see the "other" meaning of using the first three letters of my first and last name.
coulda gone with bar king...or bar slut instead..
drunkass loser perhaps.

optimistically, it makes me a great lawyer.

I took the Nickname Generator and got "My Nickname is Houdini"! My Nickname is Houdini http://qz4.me/MYtmEU

I went through their quiz and they came up with houdini.


Not much of a nickname, and i do not like magic.

I then thought I could shorten is to bgd73.
No. Cannot do that. That means black gangsta deciple #73.

bgd.

Nope. not a republican playing funny text.

I am still nailing b3m.. slowly.
being older than the net, a short nick is a right.

[Beagle]

Barry's new Delta Tau Chi name is BarDahl. Detective Bardahl. I know, they spelled it Detetive but I'd typo that constantly.

[Barry Donovan]

good one.But being a mainer, I thought of bar and chainsaw oil after first seeing that.

I did find a fun site:
http://online-generator.com/name-gen...-generator.php

Madam Slidy Lama

awesome.

Demon Sunny
Freaky Beaver
Liquid Freak
OxOx
Monkey Queen
Tiger Furious
Goat Hidden
Moron Hungry
Shining Rocking Moose
Dangerous Freak
Hare Supersonic

good ones for my subae.

Duck Jackal
Flaming Frozen Bear
Misty Kangaroo
The Beam

my favorite:

Waterbuck Doggy

[sueunit]

Here is a good project for expectant grandparents:

[Barry Donovan]

cookies

---

I have been cooking and cleaning since I could reach the sink...and then gone trucking before I could sit down and drive I had to stand up and drive...
the walk to school was out of the question.

anyway, preparing grandpa stories I'll never share... like a military tour that shook chuck yagers hand as a human. A couple of days of rain, spring air..that fragrance of trees and living things is amazing. I think of cooking.

I never have vanilla extract, baking soda or softened butter.. or even brown sugar.
but I did have this,
oatmeal cookies my way:

1 cup flour
1 cup daily chef buttermilk pancake mix
3 cups quaker oats
2 eggs
some cinnamon and salt
2 cups sugar
1 cup mazola cooking oil

and here they are:



mmm good.

the baking soda and missing flavors are already in the pancake mix.
I get a my stuff bulk, so its a huge amount to play around with.

[nesabo]

Oatmeal cookies are in my top 5 cookies

[Barry Donovan]

peewee brought up a thread about dreams or something...must be a few weeks ago or more.
Well, I have none.
Except the same day that thread was there, The night before, I was yelling at a guy named ed who could not hear me, in the driveway next door.
Ed is part native american.
Have not seen him in 15 years.

If in a realistic scene awake and the person turns out to be a delusion.. it could be a "time slip."
A previous event to the household.
that makes it real spooky.

Einstein had a real theory on this... and to this day, cameras still capture time slips.
Google has one of a bomber flying over england...
and there was no bomber flying over england. Easier to shrug off as an employee joke.

So now with science.. I am wondering who the dark haired man was in a driveway of a couple hundred year old house...that I thought was Ed, the native american.
was I dreaming to talk to a delusion... or awake to see something that was real.

An apt I had on south main street in brewer maine has my own camera capturing a tophat and tall collars, all black in the window. White face. The hosue may be written off by 100 years older than tax records - 1791. Original windows, the wooden creaking paned wind smackers.That is what got me thinking about this time slip stuff...
I do not have dreams.

I know radon, or radioactive can hold time, images..even shadows. Maine, this area.. it is very high rates of the natural active elements.
anyway, my random thought for today.

I'll pretend to dream to move away from this godforsaken impossibly ridiculous place.

the other feeder of this mystery. The subaru loyale or single port engines..the right head gathers sediment at the bottom. For years, all of my subarus..leave a heavy water (deuterium) puddle that survives 95 degree summer street pavement temps in its parking spot..simply from dew points meeting the engine the nigh before.

Those have stopped with the mulitport....and the color grey that ended up stopping 60hertz from the alternator? That is the solid anode end of where it ended up.

Amazing science. Just give your old projects a couple of decades.
So there ya have it. the power of the old dual port turbo subaru is not about boost..it is about the right head that keeps self cleansing to allow a real fire stroke.

[Barry Donovan]

phenomena

---

after handling a pile of light bulbs...
2 bic lighters and a butane clone of a zippo will not ignite.

in other weirdness..
4 days of no sun, finally saw a near full moon like a werewolf movie peaking through the clouds.
heading for frost tonight.
happy june 4th.

This is a new one for me. Frost in late august..that happens.
but in June?! never.

edit:
figured out the lighters. something got cold enough to not let gas move..heated them with an oven element nearby.
this may figure that little subaru needing an odd number on the fuel pressure.
6.5psi to run the rochester. New number for me.
I'll just throw all this off a cliff into the sea on my way out.
subarus, bic lighters...and gathering other annoying stuff now.
incandesent light bulbs
hp 940c printer from 1979.. or whatever decade that was from.(Imagine using "ink" to print on paper?)

4gb western digital hard drive... louder than a 14-71 blower. No good from day one.
may as well throw the old dell dimensia in the sea too.

the gmc fuel pump with the styrofaom killer wrap on the pump.. off into the ocean it goes.
CRT monitor
3 a/c compressors.
13 inch steel wheels..got 12 of those.
1985 subaru camshafts... have a good "time" on the bottom of the ocean.

bye bye my flunking little friends. bye bye.