Great Quotes By Un-famous People

[pdub]

I work with a guy, he was talking about his daughter. She was a teenager, he got her some kind of a beater to get her around. She used it as a mobile dumpster as some teenagers do.

One day he had to ride in his daughter's car. It was the only one immediately available to get them both to somewhere they needed to go. He sat down in his teenage daughter's car and said, "Dang, Girl, this car smells like stale French fries and bad decisions."

[Barry Donovan]

it must run in the Gene pool.

I wonder if Gene pool has last name.
I bet its german...and rhymes with manson.

[wrenchn2]

"that motorcycle in the background missed me, that was HIS decision."

I think the guy this quote was from is famous though.

[pdub]

I think the guy this quote was from is famous though.

No, what I meant was....

There's another-nuther guy at work. He told a story...he got in front of an ostrich. He said his daddy told him to never get behind a horse or a cow or a mule, they'll kick you from behind.

He got in front an ostrich and it knocked him into the next county. He said, "Daddy never told me ostriches kick front-erds."

[Deaf Bob]

Ostriches will env,,,(de-gut ) you while lookin you in the eye.. Nasty birds!

[tardis454]

My Uncle Jerry had some good ones..

"How are you?"

Good

"That's your opinion..."

How ya feelin Jer?

"With my hands.."

Man I got a bad headache.

"A head like that ought hurt.."

Are you shittin me?

"I wouldn't shit you, you're my favorite turd.."

I could go on and on, that old man used to say some shit.. (RIP Jer)
Usually filthy humor, and profanity. Wouldn't have it any other way.

[studemax]

When asked "How ya doing", I knew a guy who always replied, "I was better, but I got over it".

[DanStokes]

When store clerks tell me to "Have a nice day" I often challenge them with "What if I just want to have an ordinary day? How about "Have a day?" That way there's no pressure on me to have any particular kind of day. Some of 'em get it and play along while others are baffled - I think they've been told that "Have a nice day" is some sort of common courtesy.

Don't know if that's a great quote or not but I'm definitely Un-famous.

Dan

[Loren]

Nearly 25 years ago I was in an alley behind a friend's apartment, weekday after hours, replacing some torn-up rubber on my mountain bicycle. Another buddy observed. This second guy was kinda the thoughtful type, introspective, and usually very stoned. He watched the whole process quietly, and then upon completion this is what he said:

"It's always nice to get a new tire."

---------------------

Funny thing, it sorta is really. A certain satisfaction in how damaged you caused the old one to be, the promise offered by something new. Not too much money spent. Maybe I could wish that more maintenance/repair projects were that kind of simple pleasure? There must be some reason I remember that statement so many years later. So there it is. (Mark N., Glendale CA, 1992)

[Deaf Bob]

Clerk, "Did you find everything ok?"
Me, No, I'm still looking for my mind, have you seen it?"
Clerk, usually dumbfounded. But like Dan says, some do get it and laugh
Or "No, I could not find a package of ambition"

[STINEY]

Nearly 25 years ago I was in an alley behind a friend's apartment, weekday after hours, replacing some torn-up rubber on my mountain bicycle. Another buddy observed. This second guy was kinda the thoughtful type, introspective, and usually very stoned. He watched the whole process quietly, and then upon completion this is what he said:

"It's always nice to get a new tire."

---------------------

Funny thing, it sorta is really. A certain satisfaction in how damaged you caused the old one to be, the promise offered by something new. Not too much money spent. Maybe I could wish that more maintenance/repair projects were that kind of simple pleasure? There must be some reason I remember that statement so many years later. So there it is. (Mark N., Glendale CA, 1992)

That is deep stuff. Seriously.

Gonna have to contemplate that one for a little bit.

[Deaf Bob]

Simple things....

[Barry Donovan]

I still remember the stench of hard alcohol, leaf springs.. weeks and months of sweat and an extra rot of flesh to a guy named one eyed pete.

he really had one eye, his name was pete.
both my eyes watered just to sit on the passenger side.

the quotes he had about trucking... endless.
they found him on the side of the road. He drove to the end.

my dad told me finally in my twenties where the eye came from..
he tipped a truck over avoiding a school bus.
..and he legally got away with murder. Robbery break in self defense story.

I was 13 when I drove with him. The stuff he said sometimes had me red faced about the ladies.

I knew then, it was the real one eyed trucker named pete. Not for a truck, not for perversion.. that was his name.


"keep it in the big hole, it is much safer."
he'd laugh all by himself to say it.

I think he saw the future of screaming rice back in the 80s, near the end of his life.
He saw a lot of things.

go for torque, you'll last longer.
if you know old trucks, they'd rarely stay in top gear unless level ground.

the big hole is top gear, safer is making the engine go for low rpm torque line.
it was that simply perverted...still is today.

[JOES66FURY]

Had a boss look at one of my co-workers (female) trying to install a part on an engine. No technical data, ignoring a multitude of safety directives....

Looks and me and says (prior to going over and chewing her ass) Man, that girl ain't got the common sense god gave a sack of hammers.....

[studemax]

When store clerks tell me to "Have a nice day"

My response is usually, "I will.... Just 'cause you said to"....

Also, whenever someone helping me (on the phone or in person) concludes our transaction with "Is there anything else I can do for you?", I always say. "FREE PIZZA".
Cracks them up most of the time.