Automotive snark

[pdub]

Mustangs are too easy anymore, this is Porsche v. Corvette.... Mustangs are, well, competition for Minis

HAH! Now, THAT was a hoot to watch, loved it! That track has enough things that resemble a straightaway to make that be a great contest.

When I first started going to AMP, there was an outfit there that was renting Minis to qualified drivers. Big rental fee, you wreck it, you've bought it. And those rental Minis were passing the Corvettes on that track with ease. Yes, even the yellow Corvettes. It hurts, doesn't it?

[JOES66FURY]

fastidious

That's kind of a big word for this crowd....

Now where the hell did I put that dictionary........

[silver_bullet]

That's kind of a big word for this crowd....

Now where the hell did I put that dictionary........

Picky....meticulous.....overly compulsive when it comes to details....neat freaks
....

[Loren]

I was gonna say, it's probably not even a real werd.

[SuperBuickGuy]

I was gonna say, it's probably not even a real werd.

it's all about selling it - you can tell people to go to hell, but a real salesman has them looking forward to the trip.

[JOES66FURY]

it's all about selling it - you can tell people to go to hell, but a real salesman has them looking forward to the trip.

Eh, no need to sell it..... I hear there is booze and debauchery so I'm in....

[SuperBuickGuy]

Eh, no need to sell it..... I hear there is booze and debauchery so I'm in....

You reminded me of a joke....


While walking down the street one day, a high ranking politician is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the politician .

"Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says the politician.



"I'm sorry but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts the politician to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him, everyone is very happy and in evening dress.

They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy and has a good time dancing and telling jokes


They are having such a good time that, before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

"Now it's time to visit Heaven." So 24 hours pass with the politician head of state joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity."

He reflects for a minute, then the head of state answers: "Well, I would never have thought it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell."

So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. The Devil comes over to the politician and lays an arm on his neck.




"I don't understand," stammers the politician. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable."

The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Of course! Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us!"

[Loren]

So I dreamed I was in the afterlife, and I was placed alone with this gorgeous young lady. My gosh I was obsessed, I could hardly keep my hands off her. Then I heard someone mention something about hell...what do you mean, I said, this seems just like heaven to me. "No", they said..."It's hell. She's the one in it..."

[JOES66FURY]

An attorney passed on and found himself in heaven, but not at all happy with his accommodations. He complained to St. Peter, who told him that his only recourse was to appeal his assignment. The attorney immediately advised that he intended to appeal, but was then told that he would be waiting at least three years before his appeal could be heard. The attorney protested that a three year wait was unconscionable, but his words fell on deaf ears. The lawyer was then approached by the devil, who told him that he would be able to arrange an appeal to be heard in a few days, if the attorney was willing to change venue to Hell. When the attorney asked why appeals could be heard so much sooner in Hell, he was told, "We have all of the judges."

[fatguyzinc]

whenever someone tells me theres a special place reserved in hell for me
i say yup--its called the THRONE...

and when they tell me go to hell i say i cant--satan has a restraining order
out against me.

both happen with amazing regularity for some odd reason...........