Home Ownership is Great! *implied sarcasm*

[JOES66FURY]

So, after living in base housing for the better part of my adult life we used my VA and bought a house about 2 years ago.
It is a nice little place on a nice piece of property. The neighborhood is great, the views are fantastic and it is outside of town so it has a slightly "rural" feel to it. We love it...for the most part.

Now, there was an upside to living on base. When something went wrong with the house we called someone and they came and fixed it. Sadly, not the case when the dwelling is yours. I've found that, if I am not doing homework, I am always fixing something. Honey-do list as long as my arms come up all the time. BTW, I have a 6 foot plus wingspan so, thats a long fricken list.

I guess it helps to know how to do some things or, not being afraid to try to do something on my own. This weekend was not different that previous weekends. I'm making planter boxes for her garden, fixed the dishwasher, fixed the outlet in the laundry room, replaced the bathroom sink drain assembly. I built a corner shelf for the bedroom so we can put up the television, painted doors and door frames, removed popcorn from the ceiling...and on and on. I need to learn how to repair a brick wall among other things. This is a job for young people, I'm beat!

This sucks...I mean, they say the American dream is to own a home but I am thinking...life was a lot simpler when I rented.

[SuperBuickGuy]

*said to help with perspective*

Didn't you once tell us that you got in huge trouble working on your car on the base?
Of course, I'm certain that all the people who lived next to you were model citizens and wouldn't dream of making a soap opera right there in your front yard....
but then again, I didn't realize you were Air Force.... after all

A marine is slogging through the swamp saying "I love this schmidt"
An army soldier says "what is this schmidt"
and the Air Force, when their cable goes down, says "I can't believe this schmidt"

[squirrel]

Don't worry, Joe, it never ends

[Loren]

Mom and Dad designed and built their own house, landscaped the yard, built the pool. Planter boxes and the fireplace chimney were made from stepped colored concrete bricks they poured themselves, they made thousands of those things. Dad made the furniture, Mom upholstered it, only mattresses were purchases. Mom made much of our clothes which of-course I hated, but I learned to sew along with all the other stuff. I grew up not knowing that there were contractors or repair people who would come fix stuff. I'm not saying that's better or worse...they were so obsessive about work, the day after Mom passed away, Dad put up 30' of fencing and gates. I kinda wanted to build a whole house back when and had a nice design, then got talked out of it which was probably wise. I did design the garage here, Dad drafted it up and Dad and I built it except for pouring the slab (Dad excavated), building the trusses which are required to be bought and the initial wiring. I tell ya, it's funny, you do the first 50 square feet of stucco and you're wiped out...the next weekend you do 100 square feet and don't feel so bad, the weekend after that you're rolling and you complete the job. I nailed up every one of those f-n shingles on the roof. We have hundreds of feet of low rock wall that Dad and I did, something we both learned from Mom who loved building rock walls.

Something the parents and I have in common, the first time we try anything we really suck at it and make a horrible mess. Then we toss it out and the second effort is better.

Now we have YouTube, it sure is nice to have a look at someone else doing something before going at it myself.

You bet anything that's broken around here, I gotta fix excepting the appliances and pipes past the toilets. The linoleum floors all need replacing, time to learn how to lay level tile on a not-level floor...I picked up some of the skills the same way I learned wiring, by helping guys who did know. But I'm cringing, I do not want to do it. There is just too much work around here, I wanted to be a car builder not a house maintainer but cars of the hobby variety have to come after everything else, which comes after having a job.

Ah home ownership...we just paid off after thirty years and so the insurance company who had a deal with the mortgage company is now canning us. Nobody wants to write new policies in California now either. Serious problem, we may wind up paying the same for insurance that we used to pay on the mortgage, I don't know.

[JOES66FURY]

*said to help with perspective*

Didn't you once tell us that you got in huge trouble working on your car on the base?

Indeed the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side of the fence...or where the cow shits.

I can say that being able to get up and just go out to the driveway and work on my junk is wonderful. Been eyeballin' spots to put either an extended carport or large garage.

I am not sure that I am entirely upset about working on stuff....I mean, she thinks I am awesome for doing it all. It ain't skill baby, it's luck plus when I want to buy new tools she's good with it because she knows they'll be used to make her shit......

She keeps coming up with these ideas...I say, yeah I could probably handle that....and I do. She gets a little out of hand sometimes and I have to reel her back in...like, no I cannot build you a sunken walnut shelving unit using dove tails and mother of pearl inlay...and you want it with drawers and doors? HAHAHA! NO!

[SuperBuickGuy]

Indeed the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side of the fence...or where the cow shits.

I can say that being able to get up and just go out to the driveway and work on my junk is wonderful. Been eyeballin' spots to put either an extended carport or large garage.

I am not sure that I am entirely upset about working on stuff....I mean, she thinks I am awesome for doing it all. It ain't skill baby, it's luck plus when I want to buy new tools she's good with it because she knows they'll be used to make her shit......

She keeps coming up with these ideas...I say, yeah I could probably handle that....and I do. She gets a little out of hand sometimes and I have to reel her back in...like, no I cannot build you a sunken walnut shelving unit using dove tails and mother of pearl inlay...and you want it with drawers and doors? HAHAHA! NO!

the best thing I've ever done to reduce marital, project strife is an "order of events"

let me example:
so, you want me to build a deck, here are the things it requires
- a trailer to haul stuff away and to the deck
- a truck to haul stuff
- trips to various hardware stores
- money (usually this is where the story ends - though I am building a deck right now, so it's not always fool proof).
- time - this one, requires detailed list such as
- I work from 8-5 and have 2 hours per evening to work on stuff. I have Sundays as well, now the time budget above.... now we apply this to that and it reduces the argument because invariably some point later she'll bring up how "this is taking too long" or "you're always working on your stuff" and then we recount the oil changes, the car fixes, the other repairs that jumped to the head of the line. It is why it takes 3 years to build a deck, and why we didn't divorce on it or her bathroom.

then you will get "well hire it out"
okay, let's do that analysis.... normally project labor is the same as materials - so if you pay 10k in materials, there is 10k in labor, plus overhead plus profit.... so a 20k project is really 25k. At this point we have x dollars and we need xx dollars... where, exactly, do you think we should get that from?

then she agrees to you doing the work and you budgeted time in for your projects and sanity so all is good except to remind her when she starts with the always, never, or why-don't-you-just words.

it really does work - fortunately, my wife is a project manager so she knows full-well what that project list should look like.... funniest thing is I tend to underestimate time and she'll point out where I've done so.... which really helps in that later conversation about why it's taking so long

[SuperBuickGuy]

Don't worry, Joe, it never ends

Sure it does, eventually you die.

[67 Malibu]

Could be worse.............you could own rental property. Been there, done that. You gotta really like surprises. Usually unpleasant ones. No more slum lord shuffle for me.

[JOES66FURY]

then you will get "well hire it out"
okay, let's do that analysis.... normally project labor is the same as materials - so if you pay 10k in materials, there is 10k in labor, plus overhead plus profit.... so a 20k project is really 25k. At this point we have x dollars and we need xx dollars... where, exactly, do you think we should get that from?

Oh lord, we just went down this path. I lost 20K or so per year when I retired and she lost 15K a year when she left the department of corrections at the beginning of the year. The loss of money has not had as big an impact on our lives as the improvement in out overall health and mental stability but, I can't lie, money is a little tight.

Recently she suggested we hire someone to do some of the work. I asked if she had a savings account I was unaware of or if she woke up yesterday shitting hundred dollar bills.

She's a very smart woman, multiple degrees and knows her business very well but sometimes I think, nay, sometimes I know she does not look at the big picture. And she has no "chill" setting. She's like Veruca Salt, she wants it now. Then we I have to come back with "I am gone from 645A to 530P M-F, class is Monday from 5-8, kids BMX in Mon, Thur, Fri from 6-9. Saturday and Sunday I have a minimum of 8 hours of sit down homework, not to mention the reading/studying I have to do from 530 to whenever the rest of the week. If you can find time for me to build you all the crap you want and to paint, and clean and reorganize etc let me know and I'll be sure to put it on the to-do list. Otherwise, this crap is gonna wait until Fall of 2019 when I finish this degree. Then she gives me that look, I get a cold shiver up my spine, I put everything else on the back burner and I go build or paint or clean or reorganize whatever the hell it is she wants because shes crazy and may very well murder me in my sleep.....

[SuperBuickGuy]

the biggest paradox in marriage is when your wife suggests hiring someone, it's usually because she wants you to feel okay getting help. Of course, the paradox is that creates even greater stress because to our rational minds, that means we need to get another job to make more money.... so you can hire someone to do work that you'll just have to do over when it isn't right.

yeah brother, I know this song way too well.

[JOES66FURY]

the biggest paradox in marriage is when your wife suggests hiring someone, it's usually because she wants you to feel okay getting help. Of course, the paradox is that creates even greater stress because to our rational minds, that means we need to get another job to make more money.... so you can hire someone to do work that you'll just have to do over when it isn't right.

yeah brother, I know this song way too well.

That little demon spawn that is my wife knows how to push my buttons all too well. She KNOWS I don't ask for help, she knows I don't want to let anyone show me up by doing something better so she'll drop the "lets just pay someone" bomb just to see if it gets me moving faster....dirty, tricksy hobbitses....

I am going to outsource the trimming of the mesquite tree in the front yard. It has taken on a kraken like form and them effers are hard, they'll eat up a chain saw blade in minutes...plus I gotta haul it away...to hell with it...that'll get farmed out....

[Deaf Bob]

Joy of yoy of home ownership...
My 44 th wedding coming up friday.. Wife comes out of her bath with a towel... Hmmmm? Maaaaybe?!
Nope.. 250 lb clawfoot with me at 300=750 lbs finially poked thru the floor snapping the drain off.
Just happy the water is on the wall not the tub!
Pro blocks for now!
So nice I need to mow instead I'm rolling on a bathroom floor.

[SuperBuickGuy]

whoa, santa doing the missus in the tub..... did NOT need that mental picture. where's the brain bleach?

[fatguyzinc]

Then she gives me that look, I get a cold shiver up my spine, I put everything else on the back burner and I go build or paint or clean or reorganize whatever the hell it is she wants because shes crazy and may very well murder me in my sleep.....

so,then..... its just like every other bangshifters relationship, right?

[SuperBuickGuy]

my wife is way to smart to murder me, if she did, then who'd do the schmidt she doesn't want to do? yeah.