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The Secret Language of Dogs

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  • The Secret Language of Dogs

    Our new neighbors, they have a dog. A yard dog. Some kind of a mutt, solid white. A medium sized dog. Unit says the dog is female. So I'll take her word for it.

    The dog barks. I've named her "Woofie," but I don't know the dog's real name. Since I'll never have a conversation with the neighbors, they do not want that, and we've had the opportunity.

    She's not at all a bad dog. I was out there in the driveway, messing with Red and after a while I just happened to notice a long slender white nose poking through their fence gate. Woofie was curious, she wanted to meet me. Okay. She was leery at first but I rubbed her head and face, she's alright, although my hand would barely fit through the fence.

    The colder it gets and with the leaves falling off of the trees, sound carries much farther. I'm trying to go to sleep at night but Woofie is barking. She's not barking "at" anything, it's the dog internet. She barks and then from maybe a half mile away there's an answer. One Woof must mean, "I'm trapped in this back yard fence and my owners don't pay me any attention." Seconds later, two woofs from across town, "Me too, what shall we do about this?"

    I don't get it, why have an animal if it's not a member of the family?
    Charter member of the Turd Nuggets

  • #2
    I agree. I always wonder at how someone can be so deaf. DB excepted, most people are not deaf but yet let their dogs bark all day long.... then there's those dogs that look like dogs, bark like dogs but are the size of a NY rodent.... they do nothing but bark. Why? Even Napoleon shut up eventually.
    Doing it all wrong since 1966

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    • #3
      My oldest daughter just bought a house in a old section of town where the yards are small . I was over there changing locks on the doors and stepped out in the backyard. Oh my goodness . Two little dogs that I couldn't tell what was in them but the where no more than a foot tall. And they just barked and barked . My first instink is how do I make them disappear. My daughter laughed and said " oh they're no problem I'll just train them . " I'm thinking , there not your dogs ..... they are inside a fence in the next yard over what are you going to do? She smiles and said you just have to reward them for correct behavior. Now I will say that she works with the training of autistic children to help there parents with some of the problems the parents need help with , so she has the patience of Job and alot more training to kind of figure out how the brain works . And she's right . When I first moved to where am a little over a year ago , the lady next door I found out has 4 boxers . Every time I went to my garage , when they were out they would bark like crazy . And everytime they started I would just talk to them in my nice human high pitch voice . Now they will bark but as soon as I talk to them they will quit . Personally the night dispatch ......I'd throw a old hamburger over the fence soaked in niquell or with some other drugs that would make it go to sleep .
      Last edited by Dan Barlow; November 29, 2018, 11:28 AM.
      Previously HoosierL98GTA

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      • #4
        I really can't understand why one would have a dog if they're not going to live with it. I mean, that's the best part of having a dog. As I type, Kingsford and Andy are play-eating each other right behind my chair. They want to be as close to the Dad-guy as they can. Why would ANYONE trade that for a sad, lonely pup barking in the back yard? Just doesn't make sense. BTW - while I love our big guy the little one is pretty cool, too. Not all little ones are barkers. Andy rarely barks and I know other little guys like him. It's interesting to see how he keeps up with his big bro.

        Dan

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        • #5
          "The Twilight Bark" from the movie; '101 Dalmatians'


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          • #6
            Originally posted by SuperBuickGuy View Post
            always wonder at how someone can be so deaf. DB excepted, most people are not deaf
            I just now picked up on this, DB sent it. I assume he wanted me to post it so here it is.

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            Charter member of the Turd Nuggets

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            • #7
              Originally posted by DanStokes View Post
              I really can't understand why one would have a dog if they're not going to live with it.Dan
              Why we still put up with our dogs (a Bangshift-style Top 11) . . .

              11. Helps keep riff-raff out of the shop (e.g. Code and zoning enforcement, "neighbors" who want to "borrow" tools . . . . ).

              10. Hopefully they will forget all that tail-wagging, continuous mooching crap and chew holes in burglars.

              9. Gives the cat some pliable subjects to rule over.

              8. They keep us apprised of every siren sounding within two-mile radius

              7. Stinking dog laying in the middle of the floor keeps pedestrian speeds in check. (besides who doesn't want to trip over a snoozing hundred-pounder or two in the dark?)

              6. Package delivery persons can't sneak up on us anymore.

              5. Barking dogs automatically adjust to semi-annual time changes . . . No more oversleeping!

              4.. They love to hose-off and "detail" car tires

              3.. Free "pre-washing" for pots, pans and dishes.

              2.. Free shredding service for unwanted mail (e.g. IRS letters, bills, Car and Driver magazine . . . .)

              1. Unlimited free** fertilizer


              **Not really "free" considering the 50# of feed they rip through every couple of weeks . . . .

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Gateclyve Photographic View Post

                Why we still put up with our dogs (a Bangshift-style Top 11) . . .
                I'm trying to remember.....It's been years, I think it was on another forum before I ever joined BangShift......Sue Unit came with a dog attached. The Best Dog Ever. Spankie the Dog. I was on that forum.....I don't think it was here, I could easily stand corrected, but I think it was that other forum, it's been so long ago. I was typing, "Not now, I'm busy cooking spaghetti noodles for the dog." The question came back, WHY would you cook spaghetti noodles for a dog? My natural answer was, "Because he likes them."
                Charter member of the Turd Nuggets

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                • #9
                  That reminds me of another useful dog function. . . . If the dogs won't even try it, it's probably been in the refrigerator too long . . . . Now that one's not a solid-lock guarantee by any means . . . .

                  When they first came out with toaster pizza (I think . . . they at least were new to us), Mom tried to cook one in our toaster . . . She burned it up and ruined the toaster. The dog got it out of the trash. The dog liked it so much that she scarfed the charred remains before we could take them from her, puked it up, and then tried to re-eat the puke . . . Must have been some kind of pizza . . . .

                  Our dog had nothing on the neighbor's hound, though. That dog would walk right past a full bowl of fresh dog food to "numm, numm, numm" on a fresher dog turd . . . "Just don't let him lick you in the face, Son."

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                  • #10
                    Our boys are both pretty civilized. Neither eats poo or even considers it. The little guy WILL pee on the big guy's poo, though - I'm thinking it's dog for "I trumped your ace." Maybe the Chief Turd Nugget can confirm this.

                    Dan
                    Last edited by DanStokes; November 29, 2018, 08:23 PM.

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                    • #11
                      my moms dogs eat boneless organic chicken thighs, organic brown rice and
                      organic vegetables all chopped up & mixed together. 2x a day.

                      seriously.

                      wish she had spoiled me 1/4 as much growing up as she does these dang dogs, heh heh....

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by pdub View Post

                        I just now picked up on this, DB sent it. I assume he wanted me to post it so here it is.

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                        No.. Just have not come across sendable jokes lately..

                        Archerfish I sent was to prove I wasn't whistling dixie out my arse

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by fatguyzinc View Post
                          my moms dogs eat boneless organic chicken thighs, organic brown rice and
                          organic vegetables all chopped up & mixed together. 2x a day.

                          seriously.

                          wish she had spoiled me 1/4 as much growing up as she does these dang dogs, heh heh....
                          Grandma used to cook an egg every day for her dog . . . . Why?

                          My coworkers get spun up over what to feed dogs as well. Some of them make special meals or throw down for expensive "gourmet" dog foods. I say if they'll eat the $10-for-50# unlabeled stuff they sell at the feed store, it's all good. What did dogs do on their own for innumerable years before humans got involved? They sure weren't shopping at Trader Joe's .

                          I just hate it when the dogs get into the cat food . . . that stuff is $18-for-30# . .

                          BTW, we had a club back in elementary school where the initiation ritual included eating some Milk Bone Dog Biscuits and Purina Dog Chow . . . a little dry and greasy, but not all that bad.

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                          • #14
                            Sean works for a pet food manufacturer ... their plant is cleaner than the corn processing plants that produce food products that I have worked for!
                            Patrick & Tammy
                            - Long Haulin' 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2014...Addicting isn't it...??

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