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Meh File: The Last Taurus . . . .

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  • Meh File: The Last Taurus . . . .

    Rolled off the line in Chicago last week.

    Good riddance. It was nothing but a V8-less old Volvo . . . Wholly useless for racers and street machiners.

    Sure, Taurus made plenty of coin for FoMoCo over the years. But it was in some respects the anti-car. If Ford's "DNA" (a dumb marketing cliche, to be sure) was set by legends such as the T, the A, the V8[!}, the '49, the original Thunderbird, the Galaxie, the Mustang . . . Taurus added almost ZILCH. It was a tepid, disposable FWD that likely embodied everything Old Henry Ford would have hated about a car.

    Perfect for rental car fleets, the Taurus was exceptional at almost nothing. It was unattractive for hot rodding and grassroots motorsports (even in SHO trim). It was mostly useless as a parts source. After the first generation, the styling was (a) weird, (b) awful and then (c) geriatrically generic.

    When that dude from Boeing (Alan Mulally) resurrected the nameplate for the automotive orthopedic-shoe-of-a-car in the mid-00s, no one much cared. It was one of Mulally's few missteps.

    And now it's gone. Unlamented. Unloved. Unnoticed.

    Maybe if and when that clueless Steelcase chump "Buddy" Hackett is canned, someone with some power to change things will figure out that legendary sedans need utility along with a sporting character. (and no that doesn't mean slapping 19"s and TRD badge on a Camry . . . .https://www.caranddriver.com/feature...hat-to-expect/ ) Maybe someone will actually drive a RWD German sports sedan and "get it." Maybe someone will figure out that the Mustang platform is good for more than just sporty coupes (not that a Mustang-based sedan should ever bear the "Mustang" nameplate).

    Let's just hope the bland Taurus formula remains dead, dead, dead . . . .

    Yes, Taurus is dead . . . and that's good news.
    You will get one of three reactions when you tell someone the last Ford Taurus has been rolled of the assembly line ending 34 years of U.S. production.
    Last edited by Gateclyve Photographic; March 11, 2019, 11:02 AM.

  • #2
    Ever see an actor that you were pretty sure was dead, but wasn't until you just read their obituary? That said, if a manufacturer can't pander to the faceless mass, they're dead. Henry Ford wanted a car in every driveway, I'm sure he'd have loved the oval car for that very reason. It put a Ford in the driveway rather then a Camry or Accord.

    and slight aside, who the blazes told Honda to start copying the Citroen DS?
    Doing it all wrong since 1966

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    • #3
      Was my company car for last several years I worked and put about 50,000 miles a year on it..... pretty dependable for most part
      Thom

      "The object is to keep your balls on the table and knock everybody else's off..."

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      • #4
        Henry Ford -- in his prime -- would have hated the Taurus because it wasn't cheap enough, nor functional enough, nor "universal" enough, nor versatile enough, nor tough enough, nor easy enough to field-service, and because after the Ford Model K (1906–1908) he hated sixes and would have loathed a car that didn't have even the option of a V8.

        Ford's near-pathological hatred of sixes is why he invested in bringing the low-cost monoblock V8 to the mass market and later went with offering the 2.3-liter European flathead V8 in America as the V8-60.

        (Ford did eventually offer a cheapskate six (the G- and H-series), but it was after old Henry was just a feeble old man and not the dominant Henry he used to be).

        He would have also hated it because it wasn't a knockout punch . . . just the same thing as everyone else was doing clad in a more "aero" shell.

        Taurus is (was) an automotive opioid . . . most of them were even shaped by like a pharmaceutical capsule.
        Last edited by Gateclyve Photographic; March 11, 2019, 03:03 PM.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Monk View Post
          Was my company car for last several years I worked and put about 50,000 miles a year on it..... pretty dependable for most part
          That's true. While they're not as tough and hard-to-kill as a Panther-platform sedan, they would run fairly well as a fleet vehicle.

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          • #6
            Car would've done much better with crown vic name plate . The Taurus in this body was not like the spaceship looking for the time, 1st ones.
            Also, the car wasn't much different than the fusion. as far as usefulness . 4 doors and an ok sized trunk.
            really ford killing off the rear drive c/vic was a bonehead move.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by JamesMayberryIII View Post
              really ford killing off the rear drive c/vic was a bonehead move.
              One thing we can agree about. They would have needed some investment to pass new crash test standards and they had basically stopped investing in it after the Marauder/P71 frame and suspension mods for 2003. (You definitely want the later chassis if you're building up a hot one for street/strip action . . . . )

              But then there was a time when almost no one believed the Panther would even make it out of the 1980s, much less be built for another 21 years. I doubt there will ever again be another North American platform that runs over three decades as the Panther did.
              Last edited by Gateclyve Photographic; March 11, 2019, 03:30 PM.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by SuperBuickGuy View Post
                and slight aside, who the blazes told Honda to start copying the Citroen DS?
                You must not be as enthused about the DS as Roland Barthes was . . . .

                The DS cameo in "Back to the Future, Part II" always cracks me up.



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                • #9
                  We can't really have a thread about the Ford "TAREus" without this almost-classic FM radio comedy routine referencing one . . . .
                   

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Gateclyve Photographic View Post
                    Henry Ford -- in his prime -- would have hated the Taurus because it wasn't cheap enough, nor functional enough, nor "universal" enough, nor versatile enough, nor tough enough, nor easy enough to field-service, and because after the Ford Model K (1906–1908) he hated sixes and would have loathed a car that didn't have even the option of a V8.

                    Ford's near-pathological hatred of sixes is why he invested in bringing the low-cost monoblock V8 to the mass market and later went with offering the 2.3-liter European flathead V8 in America as the V8-60.

                    (Ford did eventually offer a cheapskate six (the G- and H-series), but it was after old Henry was just a feeble old man and not the dominant Henry he used to be).

                    He would have also hated it because it wasn't a knockout punch . . . just the same thing as everyone else was doing clad in a more "aero" shell.

                    Taurus is (was) an automotive opioid . . . most of them were even shaped by like a pharmaceutical capsule.
                    he would have hated the balance.
                    there is nothing balanced about the FWD, and the the cost that drove nerds to mental breakdowns With the SHO trying to be powerful and futuristic...ridiculous.


                    I did have a mercury zephyr, and some of those had four doors.. as close to the mustang a sedan ever got.
                    I agree with you there. There is still people trying them as projects right now...
                    Previously boxer3main
                    the death rate and fairy tales cannot kill the nature left behind.

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                    • #11
                      The early hovercraft styling was electrifying at first, but got old really fast. I rented a SHO model once, and was impressed - it was fun. The later model stuff didn't get me wound up, but any friends who owned one found them dependable. It was a solid performer for Ford, and I am sure they are glad they made it for as long as they did.
                      Act your age, not your shoe size. - Prince

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Gateclyve Photographic View Post
                        . . just the same thing as everyone else was doing clad in a more "aero" shell.

                        Taurus is (was) an automotive opioid . . . most of them were even shaped by like a pharmaceutical capsule.
                        Or just like a blue oval.....everything was oval, the center stack, the car, the rear window.... yet just like the K car printing money for Chrysler, the Tortoise printed it for FoMoCo
                        Doing it all wrong since 1966

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                        • #13
                          I liked the first gen Taurus. Looked GREAT in Robocop. Taurus, Probe, 10th Gen T-Bird, perhaps the last group of bodies with an individual STYLE. I want a Taurus so I can paint CLEE on it!
                          My hobby is needing a hobby.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by SuperBuickGuy View Post

                            Or just like a blue oval.....everything was oval, the center stack, the car, the rear window.... yet just like the K car printing money for Chrysler, the Tortoise printed it for FoMoCo
                            Printing money wasn't the point. Somebody makes lots of stacks selling toilet paper, tampons and other disposables.

                            Prediction: Fifty years from now (barring major changes in laws and culture) there will still be rodders, racers, and restorers making the scene on the streets and the race tracks with most of Ford's (and Chrysler's) RWD V8s . . . But the sight of a Taurus (or . . . gag. . . . woah . . . a K . . . Kar . . . urp) will be rare indeed.

                            Nearly twenty years ago, some ham-fisted scribe asked then SVT Boss John Coletti a dumb question about why Ford was bothering to build a certain car.

                            The answer is quite simple…To prove you are a great automotive company, you must prove it by building great automobiles.
                            No one would say that with a straight face about the Taurus. And that's the real point.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Gateclyve Photographic View Post

                              Printing money wasn't the point. Somebody makes lots of stacks selling toilet paper, tampons and other disposables.

                              Prediction: Fifty years from now (barring major changes in laws and culture) there will still be rodders, racers, and restorers making the scene on the streets and the race tracks with most of Ford's (and Chrysler's) RWD V8s . . . But the sight of a Taurus (or . . . gag. . . . woah . . . a K . . . Kar . . . urp) will be rare indeed.

                              Nearly twenty years ago, some ham-fisted scribe asked then SVT Boss John Coletti a dumb question about why Ford was bothering to build a certain car.



                              No one would say that with a straight face about the Taurus. And that's the real point.
                              Toilet paper, Tampons.... and Fords. That list is looking remarkably like something I'd snark.
                              Doing it all wrong since 1966

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