Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Real Car Rules

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Real Car Rules

    1) If it's raining, my street car runs great and my 4x4 is broken
    2) the value of the part is inversely valuable to the tool used to install it
    Doing it all wrong since 1966

  • #2
    3) Federal law requires that the directions to install a part must be written by a person who has never installed the part. Tax credits are issued to parts companies that use writers who have never seen the part in person.
    Charter member of the Turd Nuggets

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by pdub View Post
      3) Federal law requires that the directions to install a part must be written by a person who has never installed the part. Tax credits are issued to parts companies that use writers who have never seen the part in person.
      3a. Extra points shall be awarded if the writer does not speak the language in which said directions are being written.

      Dan

      Comment


      • #4
        If the manufacturer labels or otherwise marks parts and/or components with the side of the vehicle for which said parts are designed such information shall not in any way appear on the packaging nor shall this information be alluded to in any instructions.

        Dan

        Comment


        • #5
          4) never answer your tech line
          Doing it all wrong since 1966

          Comment


          • #6
            5) if you need multiples of an item-like, say 8 sparkplugs- only 5 will be in stock.of the remaining
            three you need, 2 will be in next tuesday and the 3rd wont be in untill next january-although they
            will keep assuring you "it should be here by monday".

            6) shipping will be more than the part itself. example-the $795 speedway straight front axle kit,
            that ships FREE in 48 continuous states, is an extra $950 in shipping cost alone to hawaii.



            Comment


            • #7
              7.) A $7 part will require a $77 tool to install it.
              Last edited by BBR; April 8, 2021, 02:49 PM.
              Life is short. Be a do'er and not a shoulda done'er.
              1998 Mustang GT https://bangshift.com/forum/forum/ba...ix-to-4sixzero
              1983 Mustang GT 545/552/302/Turbo302 http://www.bangshift.com/forum/forum...485-bbr-s-83gt
              1973 F-250 BBF Turbo Truck http://www.bangshift.com/forum/forum...uck-conversion
              1986 Ford Ranger EFI 545/C6 https://bangshift.com/forum/forum/ba...tooth-and-nail

              Comment


              • #8
                8) When asking for a single item you must buy two because your "car" must have two.....

                Comment


                • #9
                  9) You can not buy a part unless you supply the VIN first.
                  Tim
                  Melbourne Australia

                  65 Hardtop Impala, 70 GTS Monaro, 93 "80" Landcruiser

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by 65RHDEER View Post
                    9) You can not buy a part unless you supply the VIN first.
                    Love the Big Box Parts Stores with the 18-19 year old counter person......
                    Me; "I need a Headlight Relay"
                    Chuckle head Counter Person; "You have a Model and Year?"
                    ME; "REALLY? It's just a Headlight Relay !" "OK, how about a Horn Relay?"
                    Counter Clown; "My Screen (Computor) now wants a VIN"........
                    ME: "Don't Look at YOUR NAME TAG.....Spell Your Name?"......

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      10. You are always one broken bolt away from a one hour job turning into a week long nightmare.
                      I'm probably wrong

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Captain View Post

                        Love the Big Box Parts Stores with the 18-19 year old counter person......
                        Me; "I need a Headlight Relay"
                        Chuckle head Counter Person; "You have a Model and Year?"
                        ME; "REALLY? It's just a Headlight Relay !" "OK, how about a Horn Relay?"
                        Counter Clown; "My Screen (Computor) now wants a VIN"........
                        ME: "Don't Look at YOUR NAME TAG.....Spell Your Name?"......
                        Try it from the other side. I had a guy come in and want an oil filter for a Nissan Infinity yesterday.
                        Me: ... "OK, is it a Nissan or an Infiniti?"
                        Him: "It's a Nissan Infiniti, don't you know anything?"
                        Me: ... What model is it?"
                        Him: "It's an Infinity."
                        Me: "That's the make, what model is it?"
                        Him: "Infinity"
                        Me: <sigh> "Is the car out in the parking lot?"

                        Then there's everyone's favorite.
                        Customer: "I need a <insert random part> for a small block Chevy."
                        Me: "What's it in?"
                        Customer: "Doesn't matter, they're all the same."
                        Me: "They made the traditional small block Chevy from 1955 until at least 1996 for passenger cars and there are tons of variants, usually with specific parts and specifications depending on what they are used for. There are also tons of crate motors. Do you want the right part, or do you just want me to guess?"
                        Customer: "It's a small block, they're all the same. What are you, new here or something?"
                        Me: "A stock 265 out of a 55 Chevy it is then. That part is special order only and will take a week to get here. I'll need payment up front to get it in. What else do you need?"

                        I could go on and on...

                        The people that know their shit and give me the information I need are a welcome relief from the overwhelming majority that don't even know the year, make, and model of whatever it is they are attempting to work on and will be back raising nine kinds of hell because the "idiot behind the counter sold them the wrong part the last time they were in here!"
                        Last edited by tedly; April 13, 2021, 06:38 AM.
                        I'm probably wrong

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Another interesting part of Tedly's story is how many people have no idea of what they're driving. Last Sunday we were sitting around with friends after Sunday lunch together and one lady was talking about the Escape she just traded in that had a "V4" engine. I want to know more about that engine! I've been in my Advance and heard people answer the engine question with "I think it's a 4 cylinder". How can you be driving around and not know at least the engine configuration of whatever is moving you down the road? More than once I've seen the counter folks look under the hood to get the needed engine info. Sadly, some of the counter folks do that determine the right tail light bulb.

                          Dan

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by DanStokes View Post
                            Another interesting part of Tedly's story is how many people have no idea of what they're driving. Last Sunday we were sitting around with friends after Sunday lunch together and one lady was talking about the Escape she just traded in that had a "V4" engine. I want to know more about that engine! I've been in my Advance and heard people answer the engine question with "I think it's a 4 cylinder". How can you be driving around and not know at least the engine configuration of whatever is moving you down the road? More than once I've seen the counter folks look under the hood to get the needed engine info. Sadly, some of the counter folks do that determine the right tail light bulb.

                            Dan
                            You are definitely right about the tail light comment. I do my best to train my crew to have common sense and to know what is going to matter and what isn't. That's a whole other battle though.

                            As for people that don't know what they are driving, you are only seeing the tip of the iceberg. I stopped being surprised by that years ago. "I think it's a Ford..." is a very common answer.
                            I'm probably wrong

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by tedly View Post

                              Try it from the other side. I had a guy come in and want an oil filter for a Nissan Infinity yesterday.
                              Me: ... "OK, is it a Nissan or an Infiniti?"
                              Him: "It's a Nissan Infiniti, don't you know anything?"
                              Me: ... What model is it?"
                              Him: "It's an Infinity."
                              Me: "That's the make, what model is it?"
                              Him: "Infinity"
                              Me: <sigh> "Is the car out in the parking lot?"

                              Then there's everyone's favorite.
                              Customer: "I need a <insert random part> for a small block Chevy."
                              Me: "What's it in?"
                              Customer: "Doesn't matter, they're all the same."
                              Me: "They made the traditional small block Chevy from 1955 until at least 1996 for passenger cars and there are tons of variants, usually with specific parts and specifications depending on what they are used for. There are also tons of crate motors. Do you want the right part, or do you just want me to guess?"
                              Customer: "It's a small block, they're all the same. What are you, new here or something?"
                              Me: "A stock 265 out of a 55 Chevy it is then. That part is special order only and will take a week to get here. I'll need payment up front to get it in. What else do you need?"

                              I could go on and on...

                              The people that know their shit and give me the information I need are a welcome relief from the overwhelming majority that don't even know the year, make, and model of whatever it is they are attempting to work on and will be back raising nine kinds of hell because the "idiot behind the counter sold them the wrong part the last time they were in here!"
                              If I get a needless question for the part I'm seeking... for example, I looked up the part before I came in, verified their stock, then brought the part number. FF (fry flipper) will say 'what year, make and model" to which I reply "it's black, now go get the part, thanks"

                              Originally posted by DanStokes View Post
                              Another interesting part of Tedly's story is how many people have no idea of what they're driving. Last Sunday we were sitting around with friends after Sunday lunch together and one lady was talking about the Escape she just traded in that had a "V4" engine. I want to know more about that engine! I've been in my Advance and heard people answer the engine question with "I think it's a 4 cylinder". How can you be driving around and not know at least the engine configuration of whatever is moving you down the road? More than once I've seen the counter folks look under the hood to get the needed engine info. Sadly, some of the counter folks do that determine the right tail light bulb.

                              Dan
                              I've done this to my wife (and it may be why sometimes she's hard to convince. "What motor is in your car?" "I dunno" "is your car a ____" "I think so" "oh, that has the electric supercharged muffler that gets you xx more mpg."

                              weeks later

                              wife talking to a friend "I dunno much about my car but it has an electric supercharged muffler"

                              I find another room before I burst out laughing...don't know cars? I'll make it hurt

                              I put electric seat heaters in her Prius and told her she'd probably lose some mpgs

                              months later, she comes back to me and proudly proclaims that she hadn't lost any mpgs

                              oh lord my sides, they hurt....
                              Last edited by SuperBuickGuy; April 13, 2021, 07:27 AM.
                              Doing it all wrong since 1966

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X