Happy Holidays!

[DanStokes]

Hope y'all have a great holiday, which ever one you do or do not celebrate. We're ready here in SE NC and hope you folks are too. Do our Aussies celebrate 6 months from now given that their seasons are topsy-turvey?

Dan

[pdub]

Merry Christmas everybody!!!!! VROOM!!!!!

[fatguyzinc]

company christmas party..............


December 1...To All Employees
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will be held
on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of
spiked eggnog and a small band will play traditional carols...feel free
to sing-along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as
Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree.
Exchanging gifts among employees can be done at this time. Please
remember to keep gifts to the agreed $10 limit.
Merry Christmas to you and yours,
leolani abdul, Human Resources Director
------------------------------------------------------------------------
December 2...To All Employees
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish
employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday and
often coincides with Christmas (although not this year). However, from
now on we're calling this party our Holiday Party. The same policy also
applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There
will be no tree or Christmas carols sung.
Happy holidays to you and yours.
leolani abdul, Human Resources Director
------------------------------------------------------------------------
December 3...To All Employees
Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics
Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate
your request but please remember that if I put a sign on the table that
reads "AA Only" you won't be anonymous any more.
In addition, we'll no longer be having a gift exchange because union
members feel that $10 is too much money.
leolani abdul, Human Resources Director
------------------------------------------------------------------------
December 7...To All Employees
I have arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest
away from the dessert table and for pregnant members to sit closest to
the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not
have to sit with gays; each group will have its own table. And, yes,
there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table.
Happy now?
leolani abdul, Human Resources Director
------------------------------------------------------------------------
December 9...To All Employees
People! People! Nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to
play Santa Claus. Even if the anagram for "Santa" does happen to be
"Satan." There is no evil connation to our own little "man in a red
suit."
leolani abdul, Human Resources Director
------------------------------------------------------------------------
December 10...To All Employees
Vegetarians! I've had it with you people. We're holding this party at
Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or not. You can just sit
at the table farthest from the "Grill of Death" as you call it, and
you'll get salad bar only including hydroponics tomatoes. Tomatoes have
feelings too, you know. They scream when you slice them. I can hear
them now. I hope you have a rotten holiday. Drive drunk and die, you
hear me?
leolani abdul, a.k.a The Bitch from Hell
------------------------------------------------------------------------
December 14...To All Employees
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Leolani abdul a speedy recovery
from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to
her at the sanitarium. In the meantime management has decided to cancel
the Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with
full pay.
Terri Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director

[silver_bullet]

[silver_bullet]

Ran across this from a few years back... Had to share once again!
Borrowed From a Fellow BangShifter!
'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS - GEARHEAD VERSION
'Twas the night before Christmas, my battery was dead,
My head gasket was blown, my tires had no tread.
The car parts were placed on the workbench with care,
In hopes the mechanic soon would be there.
The transmission was leaking, the oil-dry I spread,
While visions of dollar-signs danced through my head.
While surveying the problems I started to weep,
Cause I knew in my heart it wouldn't be cheap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
I opened the garage door to see what was the matter.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But the Snap-On man in a truck from Goodyear.
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be Saint Nick!
With his band of mechanics, out of the truck they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name.
Now Bruce! Now George! Now Earl and Fred!
On Chris! On Dave! On Charles and Ed!
Let's get to work quickly on this poor old wreck,
Although getting it running may be too much to expect!
The screwdrivers, they glistened! The wrenches, they flew!
I was anticipating a car that looked almost new!
They put on new tires, they brought out some paint.
At the sight of all this, I thought I would faint!
When suddenly Santa said, "There's no hope for this thing!"
"Let's get a car in here that has some real bling!"
He opened the trailer, he backed the car out,
And all the mechanics, they started to shout!
I couldn't believe it, I haven't digested it yet!
It was better than anything I ever thought I would get!
Down the driveway came the most beautiful sight,
My dream classic car, all shiny and bright!!
He laughed when he saw me, in spite of himself,
Cause he was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf.
He said, "She looks really good and she runs really great,
Cause under the hood is a 350 V8!"
I didn't know how to thank him, the mechanics they cheered!
I wouldn't miss all the road trips like I feared!
I hugged him and kissed him, my heart all a-quiver,
He said, "I must go, I have parts to deliver!"
He sprang to his truck, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"
Terri B.
2011 Thanks Terri Bowman

[SuperBuickGuy]

Merry Christmas!

[Loren]

Youngest daughter Sat. nite. We're all sitting at home now having been, independently, exposed to Covid by people who go to social events when they're feeling sick and then have it occur to them later what they did. Happy Holidays, all.

[DanStokes]

Loren - A "like" except for the covid part. Hope nothing comes of it. Daughter's pretty like her Mom!

Dan

[Dan Barlow]

And also some carry it with no symptoms. But you aren't wrong that some do infect others because they have mild regular flu like symptoms. But back to the point , Merry Christmas.

[oletrux4evr]

We had our round with covid last Christmas, so this year we are back to normal!
Merry Christmas everyone

[cstmwgn]

We had our round with covid last Christmas, so this year we are back to normal!

WOW - so if I get COVID I will be normal afterwardst?

[oletrux4evr]

WOW - so if I get COVID I will be normal afterwardst?

Most likely. Of course, 'normal' is a relative term.

[DanStokes]

Most likely. Of course, 'normal' is a relative term.

I don't think any of my relatives are normal......

Dan

[Deaf Bob]

Youngest daughter Sat. nite. We're all sitting at home now having been, independently, exposed to Covid by people who go to social events when they're feeling sick and then have it occur to them later what they did. Happy Holidays, all.

A beauty!

[langleylad]

I wish you all the best !