Went for a Ride

[pdub]

I went for a short ride this morning. That's all I did. And now my wife is really mad. I guess I'll never understand women.

[RyanWalker]

Re: Went for a Ride

Really Peewee? Yooz a bad mofo....

[pdub]

Re: Went for a Ride

No, NOT really. But that's one of my faves. I'm thinking about a top ten from the pile of material. That'll be hard. Real hard. Hard to decide.

[pdub]

Re: Went for a Ride

It'll be hard, but this one is definitely in the top two. I can't get away from this one. Everybody's got their own sense of humor, but this one does "it" for me. In the top two forever:

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Ernie was left. 'Ernie, do you have a story to share?'

'Yes ma'am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen.

She was a pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and hurt her when she landed.

And then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 enemy troops.

She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, and then she killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she beat the last one to death with the empty whisky bottle.'

'Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher. 'What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from this horrible story?'

'Stay the hell away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking.'

[RyanWalker]

Re: Went for a Ride

Hells Angel's living room... Love both of those! I'll remember the Aunt Karen one.

[pdub]

Re: Went for a Ride

And this one says a lot, especially this time of year. Top three material:

[pdub]

Re: Went for a Ride

This one has to make it:

[pdub]

Re: Went for a Ride

This one's in the running

[pdub]

Re: Went for a Ride

This one....okay back up, this may be top two stuff.

http://www.weeville.com/SHOES.wmv

[pdub]

Re: Went for a Ride

Naw, I can't do this. There's toooooo much stuff. No sense in judging it. It's all fun. All of it.

[smallblockjay]

Re: Went for a Ride

I went for a short ride this morning. That's all I did. And now my wife is really mad. I guess I'll never understand women.

I hope he remembered to take the batteries out of the smoke alarms first. I hate it when the blaring alarms distract me when I'm doing burnouts in the living room. 8)

Those Coleman Extreme ice chest are pretty nice. They hold ice for several days.

[pdub]

Re: Went for a Ride

That scene kinda reminds me of the only time my first ex-wife tried to cook breakfast.

[smallblockjay]

Re: Went for a Ride

Ron White

It got a little better when she figured out the smoke alarm wasn't a timer. The food's done before that particualr timer goes off.

[pdub]

Re: Went for a Ride

In real life, I bought a fire extinguisher at work and brought it home and said, "HERE - try again."

She didn't ever try again. Things were bad for me back then. So much better now. The best ever now.

[smallblockjay]

Re: Went for a Ride

You're up this early in the mornin'. I guess you could make breakfast. :P

I do most of the cooking around our house. Not that the boss lady can't cook. Well, yeah, it's cause she can't cook. Kinda. She makes spaghetti pretty good. That's about all I can think of right now......

Working graveyard, I'm not on a normal person's schedule anyhow. I eat whatever, whenever. I just finished my lunch at Taco Bell about an hour ago. The boss lady will be proud of me when I get in bed with her in a bit. :o