Tweet
It's been a long time coming, but we all knew eventually one day it would happen. Don't know exactly what year, hell even what century it would be but finally the last internal combustion engine sparked it's last Otto cycle and was switched off forever. Yeah all us gear heads banded together and put up a good fight. But in the end the laws, the cost and just the hassle of getting what was necessary to own and run a car became too much for the ordinary citizen to bear. Every once in a while the goverment would issue all the required permits to allow a museum to start and run a gasoline engine but only for a minute or two. Usually a wheezy 4 cylinder plucked out of a car long ago. It's remains sent to a government reclamation center to be melted down to make steel to build some new project in the United States of China. The people attending the demonstration would shake their heads or some were frightened by the noise it made or wrinkle their noses at the odor of it's exhaust. All said and done personal transportation was a thing of the past. Along with it a bit of what made us individuals. Now everyone got around in these shiny new "whizzing" things all crammed in together. Goofy looking bubble shaped contraptions. All government owned, all look the same. Can't tell one from the next. Funny though. If you look at the passengers you could say the same for them. Same 'ol, same 'ol.
Then one day one of us is going to snap. You know one of US, the dudes reading BangShift and the like. Or it may be one of our sons or even someones grandson. He'll decide that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and set a plan in motion. First he'll have to obtain a liquid capable of producing the right amount of ignition to complete and sustain a 4 cycle combustion process. Hardware stores, chemical supply companies all giving suspicious looks at the character asking where he could get some. The word "terrorist" came up a couple of times. "I'll show you terror" he thought to himself. After a week of trying 7 gallons was enough for what he had in mind. Now things would progress quickly. Out to the storage barn at the back of his property. A few older folk still owned property after succesfully winning laws suits against the government from seizing it. Prying open the rusty lock. Pushing the doors wide open to let in some air and light. Pulling aside the "false front" put in place to conceal what was within. There it stood, a familiar shape in the dark. Almost like seeing an old friend. Visibly aged but still recognizable. An odor intermingled with the musty scent. A smell that brought flashbacks more powerful than any acid trip. An oily tinge of metal and machinery. Images of the industial way life used to be. Funny thing this is, a smile on his face yet a tear in his eye. He laid his hands on it's cold flanks. Put away almost 30 years ago yet seemingly ready to perform as if it were just yesterday. A power source containing just 12 volts and a quick change of lubricant and this monster will breath again. The volatile fluid funneled into the tank. "Let's see, how does this go again" he giggled. Nervously his hands grasp the wheel and the gear lever. " Neutral, clutch in, turn the key" The sound of the starter almost startled him. "It's turning!" 5 seconds, 10 seconds pump, pump, pump. It shook, it popped IT BOOMED! He laughed almost as loud! "Now I know what Dr. Frankenstien felt like" he said to himself. Clutch in, shift into first, out slowly on the clutch. Chunka-chunka-chunk, Stalled it. Damn it! Quick again. Start, catch it, rev it, rev it again higher. YEAH BABY!!! No stopping now. The noise was attracting attention. Exactly what he intended. Frightened citizens were now in the street. Some calling for government emergency services to investigate this horrendous noise, some grabbing their kids and running to the safety of their homes. Getting LOUDER, coming CLOSER. Now out in the open this mechanical dinosar revealing itself to all. A metallic blue animal with broad black stripes down it's back. 427 cubic inches beating within ready to unleash the power of over 500 horses. All under his control. Now cut off by the government "Eco-police" A voice came over the loudspeaker "Turn off the engine and step away from the vehicle." " You are in violation of the Global Pollution laws". A few quick rev's to 4 or 5 thousand rpm's shout "#### YOU!" back. The exhaust emitting the toxic gasses outlawed long ago. One last look around to confirm the fact that this world really sucks now. Clutch in.....shifter in first.........right foot to the floor.......left foot out................................
Then one day one of us is going to snap. You know one of US, the dudes reading BangShift and the like. Or it may be one of our sons or even someones grandson. He'll decide that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and set a plan in motion. First he'll have to obtain a liquid capable of producing the right amount of ignition to complete and sustain a 4 cycle combustion process. Hardware stores, chemical supply companies all giving suspicious looks at the character asking where he could get some. The word "terrorist" came up a couple of times. "I'll show you terror" he thought to himself. After a week of trying 7 gallons was enough for what he had in mind. Now things would progress quickly. Out to the storage barn at the back of his property. A few older folk still owned property after succesfully winning laws suits against the government from seizing it. Prying open the rusty lock. Pushing the doors wide open to let in some air and light. Pulling aside the "false front" put in place to conceal what was within. There it stood, a familiar shape in the dark. Almost like seeing an old friend. Visibly aged but still recognizable. An odor intermingled with the musty scent. A smell that brought flashbacks more powerful than any acid trip. An oily tinge of metal and machinery. Images of the industial way life used to be. Funny thing this is, a smile on his face yet a tear in his eye. He laid his hands on it's cold flanks. Put away almost 30 years ago yet seemingly ready to perform as if it were just yesterday. A power source containing just 12 volts and a quick change of lubricant and this monster will breath again. The volatile fluid funneled into the tank. "Let's see, how does this go again" he giggled. Nervously his hands grasp the wheel and the gear lever. " Neutral, clutch in, turn the key" The sound of the starter almost startled him. "It's turning!" 5 seconds, 10 seconds pump, pump, pump. It shook, it popped IT BOOMED! He laughed almost as loud! "Now I know what Dr. Frankenstien felt like" he said to himself. Clutch in, shift into first, out slowly on the clutch. Chunka-chunka-chunk, Stalled it. Damn it! Quick again. Start, catch it, rev it, rev it again higher. YEAH BABY!!! No stopping now. The noise was attracting attention. Exactly what he intended. Frightened citizens were now in the street. Some calling for government emergency services to investigate this horrendous noise, some grabbing their kids and running to the safety of their homes. Getting LOUDER, coming CLOSER. Now out in the open this mechanical dinosar revealing itself to all. A metallic blue animal with broad black stripes down it's back. 427 cubic inches beating within ready to unleash the power of over 500 horses. All under his control. Now cut off by the government "Eco-police" A voice came over the loudspeaker "Turn off the engine and step away from the vehicle." " You are in violation of the Global Pollution laws". A few quick rev's to 4 or 5 thousand rpm's shout "#### YOU!" back. The exhaust emitting the toxic gasses outlawed long ago. One last look around to confirm the fact that this world really sucks now. Clutch in.....shifter in first.........right foot to the floor.......left foot out................................
Comment