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I have never made it a hidden fact: I detest Washington State with a passion. Oh, sure, there are things I like: summertime when there's berries ready to be eaten, beaches to be explored, mountains to hike in...the entertainment that the Seattle Metro area provides...
But there are downsides, too. The weather just flat blows 70% of the year, and that's if it's not actually blowing (Favorite violent weather: WINDSTORM), I-5 traffic in the Seattle Metro area, and the one that got me tonight, that has gotten me over the years since I moved back in '05:
Obnoxious as all .... tree-hugging granola-crunching envronmental freaks and their agendas. And fking Toyota Priuses.
I can't stand these rolling atrocities. The first generation Prius looked like a slightly altered Toyota Echo, another rolling dose of Ambien. But the 2nd generation, which claims 54mpg normally, has the ability to turn the purchaser into an uppity, asinine son of a bitch that sparks every last one of my nerves on fire. These rolling doorstops are the equivalent of ordering eggs and toast and being served dry wheat germ...
Tonight, I made a quick food and gas run in the Monte Carlo. At the fuel pump, I'm leaning back feeding the beast it's 92-octane shake when a green-gray Prius pulls up. As the owner gets out he looks at my car, makes a "Tuh!" noise and shakes his head and starts pumping fuel. Oh, no...I'm not normally quick to start a conversation with anyone, but this just did it.
Me: "'Scuse me...what was that for?"
Prius: "What?"
Me: "That 'tuh'...what was that for?"
Prius: "It's for your lack of education on the planet's crisis, or at least your indifference to your fellow man by driving THAT." (points at the Monte)
A quick comparo: V8 Monte Carlo gets 38mpg highway and doesn't turn into an instant HAZMAT spill when involved in an auto accident. We'll hold off on the carbon footprint of making a Prius, I don't have that particular flowchart memorized yet.
I make the mistake of explaining the battery=yellow suits thing to him....oh, this does not go over well...
Prius: "How can you stand there using false science? You don't know what you're talking about! Another scared warmongerer who's afraid that envronmental qualities will win the day, that's what the f..k you are!"
Me: "Cute. Real cute. So you're against the military, too, right?"
Prius: "If you weren't driving your gas-guzzling tank they wouldn't need to be ...."
Me: "And here's where I stop you. I was over there. And I came back and bought this f..king tank. And I'll drive it where I damn well please. And I'll drive my even bigger tank through your goddamned Prius, then have the HAZMAT crew clean the residue off my car."
Prius owner looks suddenly scared. And hey, he's done fueling, so off he goes.
If only I'd been driving the Mirada tonight... ;D
Seriously, I get it, I really do. I applaud cars like the Fusion hybrid, the diesel VW's, older 80's subcompacts that got it done without unobtanium and hair from the golden ox...it's their attitudes. I had a woman a few years back try to spray-paint the Chevelle green because I was "harming the environment". I hate these morons with a passion yet undefined. I really do.
Can someone make a "F..k your Prius" bumper sticker for me?!
But there are downsides, too. The weather just flat blows 70% of the year, and that's if it's not actually blowing (Favorite violent weather: WINDSTORM), I-5 traffic in the Seattle Metro area, and the one that got me tonight, that has gotten me over the years since I moved back in '05:
Obnoxious as all .... tree-hugging granola-crunching envronmental freaks and their agendas. And fking Toyota Priuses.
I can't stand these rolling atrocities. The first generation Prius looked like a slightly altered Toyota Echo, another rolling dose of Ambien. But the 2nd generation, which claims 54mpg normally, has the ability to turn the purchaser into an uppity, asinine son of a bitch that sparks every last one of my nerves on fire. These rolling doorstops are the equivalent of ordering eggs and toast and being served dry wheat germ...
Tonight, I made a quick food and gas run in the Monte Carlo. At the fuel pump, I'm leaning back feeding the beast it's 92-octane shake when a green-gray Prius pulls up. As the owner gets out he looks at my car, makes a "Tuh!" noise and shakes his head and starts pumping fuel. Oh, no...I'm not normally quick to start a conversation with anyone, but this just did it.
Me: "'Scuse me...what was that for?"
Prius: "What?"
Me: "That 'tuh'...what was that for?"
Prius: "It's for your lack of education on the planet's crisis, or at least your indifference to your fellow man by driving THAT." (points at the Monte)
A quick comparo: V8 Monte Carlo gets 38mpg highway and doesn't turn into an instant HAZMAT spill when involved in an auto accident. We'll hold off on the carbon footprint of making a Prius, I don't have that particular flowchart memorized yet.
I make the mistake of explaining the battery=yellow suits thing to him....oh, this does not go over well...
Prius: "How can you stand there using false science? You don't know what you're talking about! Another scared warmongerer who's afraid that envronmental qualities will win the day, that's what the f..k you are!"
Me: "Cute. Real cute. So you're against the military, too, right?"
Prius: "If you weren't driving your gas-guzzling tank they wouldn't need to be ...."
Me: "And here's where I stop you. I was over there. And I came back and bought this f..king tank. And I'll drive it where I damn well please. And I'll drive my even bigger tank through your goddamned Prius, then have the HAZMAT crew clean the residue off my car."
Prius owner looks suddenly scared. And hey, he's done fueling, so off he goes.
If only I'd been driving the Mirada tonight... ;D
Seriously, I get it, I really do. I applaud cars like the Fusion hybrid, the diesel VW's, older 80's subcompacts that got it done without unobtanium and hair from the golden ox...it's their attitudes. I had a woman a few years back try to spray-paint the Chevelle green because I was "harming the environment". I hate these morons with a passion yet undefined. I really do.
Can someone make a "F..k your Prius" bumper sticker for me?!
, 2013 LH, 2014 LH
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