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Chuck the Rooster

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  • #1

    Chuck the Rooster


    A FARMER DECIDED HE WANTED TO GO TO TOWN AND SEE A MOVIE.

    THE TICKET AGENT ASKED, "SIR, WHAT'S THAT ON YOUR SHOULDER?"


    THE OLD FARMER SAID, "THAT'S MY PET ROOSTER CHUCK. WHEREVER I GO, CHUCK GOES."

    "I'M SORRY SIR," SAID THE TICKET AGENT.

    "WE CAN'T ALLOW ANIMALS IN THE THEATER."

    THE OLD FARMER WENT AROUND THE CORNER AND STUFFED CHUCK DOWN HIS OVERALLS.



    THEN HE RETURNED TO THE BOOTH, BOUGHT A TICKET, AND ENTERED THE THEATER.

    HE SAT DOWN NEXT TO TWO OLD WIDOWS NAMED MILDRED AND MARGE.



    THE MOVIE STARTED AND THE ROOSTER BEGAN TO SQUIRM. . . THE OLD FARMER
    UNBUTTONED HIS FLY SO CHUCK COULD STICK HIS HEAD OUT AND WATCH THE MOVIE.

    "MARGE," WHISPERED MILDRED.

    "WHAT?" SAID MARGE.

    "I THINK THE GUY NEXT TO ME IS A PERVERT."

    "WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SO?" ASKED MARGE?

    "HE UNDID HIS PANTS AND HE HAS HIS THING OUT", WHISPERED MILDRED.

    "WELL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT", SAID MARGE.. "AT OUR AGE WE'VE SEEN 'EM ALL"

    "I THOUGHT SO TOO", SAID MILDRED, "BUT THIS ONE'S EATIN' MY POPCORN!"






    Thom

    "The object is to keep your balls on the table and knock everybody else's off..."
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Chuck the Rooster

    A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

    Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

    The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

    Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

    She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

    He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

    "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

    He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh .... .......


    (scroll down)

























    "Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."



    Escaped on a technicality.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Chuck the Rooster

      Originally posted by TheSilverBuick
      A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

      Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

      The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

      Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

      She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

      He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

      "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

      He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh .... .......


      (scroll down)

























      "Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."



      Gotta send that one to my daughter in law
      ;D
      Thom

      "The object is to keep your balls on the table and knock everybody else's off..."

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Chuck the Rooster

        Long ago there was an old Cherokee Indian Chief who toured the county fairs. His claim to fame was that he could remember everything. Everything.

        For 10 cents, you could ask him any question from the time he spent on earth and he'd recall it.

        Two young boys stood in line, anxiously waiting their turn. They'd never seen, let alone spoken to a real Indian!

        They finally decided what to ask him, and then it was their turn, they stepped up to the Indian Chief.

        One of the young boys raised one hand in salute, and said, "HOW." That was the greeting in all the old cowboy movies they'd seen.

        The Indian Chief was not impressed. He just glared back at the boys.

        To get down to business, one of the boys asked the prepared question -

        "Chief, what did you have for breakfast on March 14th, 1921?"

        The chief thought for about a second and replied, "Eggs."

        The boys were pushed out of the way for the next customer and realized they'd blown their 10 cents. How could you prove him right or wrong?

        Many years later the boys were grown and had kids of their own to take to the county fair.

        Guess what? That same old Chief was still touring.

        The guys couldn't believe anybody could live so long and got in line just for old times' sake.

        They got up the Chief and one of the guys raised his hand in salute and said "How."

        The Chief got a quizzical look on his face.

        He thought for nearly ten seconds and then said, "Scrambled."
        Charter member of the Turd Nuggets

        Comment

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