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  • Questions and Answers from AARP (American Association of Retired People) Forum

    Q: Where can single men over the age of 60 find younger women who are interested in them?

    A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.



    Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?

    A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done, you will have a place to live.



    Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible... Is that true? Where can it be found?

    A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt ."



    Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your over-60 year-old husband?

    A: Tell him you're pregnant.



    Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?

    A: Take off your glasses.



    Q: Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?

    A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.



    Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?

    A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.



    Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?

    A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is the problem.



    Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?

    A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.



    Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?

    A: On their foreheads.



    Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?

    A: Gosh, I remember these!

  • #2
    Re: Questions and Answers from AARP (American Association of Retired People) Forum

    Only punkass kids find these funny.
    Us old folks are waiting for you in the dark for you - with brass knuckles.
    Act your age, not your shoe size. - Prince

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Questions and Answers from AARP (American Association of Retired People) Forum

      Originally posted by studemax
      Only punkass kids find these funny.
      Us old folks are waiting for you in the dark for you - with brass knuckles.
      +1

      My only encounters with aging and it was outright cruller'd evil...and then the law went backwards.

      grow old gracefully. I mean it. It is a command.
      Previously boxer3main
      the death rate and fairy tales cannot kill the nature left behind.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Questions and Answers from AARP (American Association of Retired People) Forum

        Originally posted by studemax

        Us old folks are waiting for you in the dark for you - with brass knuckles.
        Rereading the above line shows you have no short term memory problems doesn't it? ;) ;D

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Questions and Answers from AARP (American Association of Retired People) Forum

          sadly, I'm not far from being able to hide my own easter eggs.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Questions and Answers from AARP (American Association of Retired People) Forum

            One of my buddies said a good bowel movement
            is better than sex

            I told him.....either he doesn't know how to screw
            or I don't know how to sh*t

            Another seasoned citizen
            Thom

            "The object is to keep your balls on the table and knock everybody else's off..."

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Questions and Answers from AARP (American Association of Retired People) Forum

              You young whippersnappers think this is all funny, don't cha. You'll get yers. Hell, when I was yer age.......

              Dan

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Questions and Answers from AARP (American Association of Retired People) Forum

                Originally posted by Monk
                One of my buddies said a good bowel movement
                is better than sex

                I told him.....either he doesn't know how to screw
                or I don't know how to sh*t

                Another seasoned citizen
                That's hilarious! :D
                The official Bangshift garage door guru. Just about anything can be built using garage door parts, trust me.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Questions and Answers from AARP (American Association of Retired People) Forum

                  Originally posted by DanStokes
                  You young whippersnappers think this is all funny, don't cha. You'll get yers. Hell, when I was yer age.......
                  ...yada yada, uphill, both ways, in the snow, and were damned grateful for the privilege...we know. Eat yer oatmeal.. ;D
                  Editor-at-Large at...well, here, of course!

                  "Remy-Z, you've outdone yourself again, I thought a Mirada was the icing on the cake of rodding, but this Imperial is the spread of little 99-cent candy letters spelling out "EAT ME" on top of that cake."

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Questions and Answers from AARP (American Association of Retired People) Forum

                    Originally posted by Remy-Z
                    Originally posted by DanStokes
                    You young whippersnappers think this is all funny, don't cha. You'll get yers. Hell, when I was yer age.......
                    ...yada yada, uphill, both ways, in the snow, and were damned grateful for the privilege...we know. Eat yer oatmeal.. ;D
                    ha ha ha ha ha !! ;D oh ya im getting old
                    COBEY..... franklin, kansas

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Questions and Answers from AARP (American Association of Retired People) Forum

                      Somewhere in the future the breast pocket on my shirt will stop being a decorative item and become a cargo container. As one gets older, the maximum storage capacity will continue to be tested. I'm fighting the transition with every ounce of my being. So far, all I use my for is toothpick and receipt holding.
                      BS'er formally known as Rebeldryver

                      Resident Instigator

                      sigpic

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Questions and Answers from AARP (American Association of Retired People) Forum

                        Being primarily (almost exclusively since retirement) a T-shirt wearer this has not emerged as an issue. Instead I just search for lost stuff - like my brain.

                        Dan

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Questions and Answers from AARP (American Association of Retired People) Forum

                          Know the difference between Part-Timers and Alzheimers?

                          Part-Timers remember enough to know they forgot something. Just can't remember what.

                          Part-Timers is starting to set in I believe....

                          Of all the paths you take in life - make sure a few of them are dirt.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Questions and Answers from AARP (American Association of Retired People) Forum

                            Originally posted by Rebeldryver
                            Somewhere in the future the breast pocket on my shirt will stop being a decorative item and become a cargo container. As one gets older, the maximum storage capacity will continue to be tested. I'm fighting the transition with every ounce of my being. So far, all I use my for is toothpick and receipt holding.
                            That pocket holds drinks nicely. Also, working on my buddies lifted truck recently has shown the pocket to be good for holding wrenches.

                            Comment

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