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Adult Truths

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  • Adult Truths

    I got this in an email the other day and thought it was funny enough to share with you all ....
    ;D


    Adult Truths

    Part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

    Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

    I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

    There is great need for a sarcasm font.

    How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

    Was learning cursive really necessary?

    Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

    Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

    I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

    Bad decisions make good stories.

    You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

    Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

    I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

    I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

    I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

    I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than with Kay.

    I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

    How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

    I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

    Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

    Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

    Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey, but everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

    The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

  • #2
    Re: Adult Truths

    I like it!

    When you get to my age there are others, like:
    Why can't kids spell stuff out, like "you" instead of "u". It just seems lazy to me.

    Other bodily functions are just as good as sex.



    I'd post some others but darn if I can remember any right now.

    Dan

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    • #3
      Re: Adult Truths

      Originally posted by DanStokes
      I like it!

      When you get to my age there are others, like:
      Why can't kids spell stuff out, like "you" instead of "u". It just seems lazy to me.

      Other bodily functions are just as good as sex.



      I'd post some others but darn if I can remember any right now.

      Dan
      Dan, what did you just say? I read it but I forgot. I'm sorry, but.....which thread is this?

      Ohhh I know I was going to say that I....no, that's not it, either.

      Haley talks good and can remember stuff. Maybe's she'll fill in the blank where.....what was I saying?

      It's hell getting old. Lots of pundits make it sound to be so good, like you've earned the right to do what you want to after so much time. And we old farts know so much more than the young folks, but we just can't recall it all. Irony at its best. Frustrating at times. No, ALL of the time. Now Dan, what was the subject? It had something to do with.....
      Charter member of the Turd Nuggets

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      • #4
        Re: Adult Truths

        Darn if I know. Ask Peewee - he'll know.

        Dan

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        • #5
          Re: Adult Truths

          Originally posted by DanStokes
          Darn if I know. Ask Peewee - he'll know.

          Dan
          Who's peewee?

          Dang, I dropped my....why am I in the kitchen staring at the sink?
          Charter member of the Turd Nuggets

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          • #6
            Re: Adult Truths

            Originally posted by White Monster

            Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey, but everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
            And push it for an hour and not remember a single time.
            The official Bangshift garage door guru. Just about anything can be built using garage door parts, trust me.

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