Wife approval for parts, cars, etc

[mike343sharpstick]

It sure is interesting watching other gear heads here at work try to buy car or motorcycle stuff with approval from the wife; recently some of these guys have had some ugly stories about the approval process!

Admittedly I live a charmed life, both of us work hard and basically spend our own money AFTER the essentials are taken care of, so I don’t really have this problem. I buy car and motorcycle parts, she buys expensive shoes and hand-bags, everybody is happy. I just realized we will be married 15 years in a couple months so it’s working out for us.

Obviously life gets in the way from time to time (Babies, Job changes, etc.), that’s a different subject, not the point I’m after with this.

What’s completely odd to me is that in some cases the Guys I work with (Engineers in some cases) make all or most of the family income, and can’t even spend the extra on what they choose without a battle.
We all know the Mr. Lohnes has it worked out ok with his truck collection and all.

How is your approval process?

[squirrel]

Whatever she says, I do

[mike343sharpstick]

So she told you to build a blown big block '55? NICE! LOL

[TheSilverBuick]

Jim, I don't think this thread applies to you or I. I have no one to ask approval or share money with, and with the exception of a few scrap runs you have no income =P

[squirrel]

heh....I didn't buy a blown big block 55.

Randal--I did work a couple years ago, fixed up a Model A for a friend.

[SuperBuickGuy]

Dave Ramsey budget. It's amazing to me how well budgeting works in both reducing the fights, and in allowing both parties to get the trinkets they want.

[TC]

Admittedly I live a charmed life, both of us work hard and basically spend our own money AFTER the essentials are taken care of, so I don't really have this problem. I buy car and motorcycle parts, she buys expensive shoes and hand-bags, everybody is happy. I just realized we will be married 15 years in a couple months so it's working out for us.

I'm in the same boat as you Mike, been married 13 years, and as long as the bills are taken care of, I'm pretty much free to spend what I want, which the same goes for her........Though I pay all the bills and whatever money she makes is her's to spend........

[squirrel]

Having similar ideas about living within your means also helps a bunch. We've both always been cheapskates, so we don't need the biggest house we can afford, etc. That leaves a lot of discretionary income, and as long as we both don't go nuts spending money, we get along pretty well.

Although I had it easier when the kids were home, I could claim I was a full time stay at home dad. Now, I'm just a lazy bum

[milner351]

I've been through hell on this with wife V1 - totally unreasonable on all fronts, glad that's over.

Rhonda is a prize - and partially because my workshop is 8 miles from home - things like the econoline van that's been sitting out back for more than 5 years now - tend to get over looked.

I'm nearly in the same position as Mike, but I doubt I'll ever have a car as nice as his Javelin!

It's a compromise - and every relationship is different.

The recent jetboat purchase came with some consternation - but having the boat already sold before I made the deal helped - hopefully it didn't hurt Stiney too much - but he's got a barn full of stuff - surely a little 16ft boat won't hurt! ;-)

[Thumpin455]

The ex was always trying to keep me from doing things I wanted to do, she would scream and yell, throw things, and constantly bitch about me spending money on any car I owned. She would do all that, and I would still do what I wanted after the bills were paid. She couldnt control me or keep my balls in her purse, so she left. Good riddance. There were other issues with her, mostly she was bi polar and very abusive and I stayed for the kids.

The woman I have now knew going in I was a car guy. Not just a guy who liked cars and wanted to go to shows, no not that kind of car guy. Her dad is a boat guy like I am a car guy, except I think Dave is worse than me, so its sort of the norm to have a bunch of vehicles laying around. She never bitches about money, never starts fights or complains about how much I spend. She does want to finish the house and I do too, but those are winter projects. We have been doing a bit of everything, house, cars, us, the dogs, and we dont fight about money. I dont have to beg for parts, and she has helped me with things when she had the cash and we needed something, or when she is in town and she doesnt have my debit card, then she buys it with her money.

Its a night and day difference, I still do the same things, but the woman doesnt cause stress or fights over it. Like Jim we live within our means, dont take out loans for things except to build credit occasionally, and I plan so we have money left at the end of each month instead of being broke for three weeks like my ex is every month. I know how to budget the paltry disability compensation, the ex and her new crippled vet dont. You want a guy who is pussy whipped, its that guy. She can control him without much of a fight.

[DanStokes]

We have a car account and a music account for her and the business. She doesn't GET the whole car thing but she wants me to have what I want and I want her to have good tools (violins, piano, etc.) also. So we support each other in our endeavors. It's been a good deal for over 20 years.

Dan

[SpiderGearsMan]

It sure is interesting watching other gear heads here at work try to buy car or motorcycle stuff with approval from the wife; recently some of these guys have had some ugly stories about the approval process!

Admittedly I live a charmed life, both of us work hard and basically spend our own money AFTER the essentials are taken care of, so I don’t really have this problem. I buy car and motorcycle parts, she buys expensive shoes and hand-bags, everybody is happy. I just realized we will be married 15 years in a couple months so it’s working out for us.

Obviously life gets in the way from time to time (Babies, Job changes, etc.), that’s a different subject, not the point I’m after with this.

What’s completely odd to me is that in some cases the Guys I work with (Engineers in some cases) make all or most of the family income, and can’t even spend the extra on what they choose without a battle.
We all know the Mr. Lohnes has it worked out ok with his truck collection and all.

How is your approval process?

who raises the kids ?

[mike343sharpstick]

We "Raise" them, but they do go to school, and in summer we have day-care and Grandma.

[ford141]

I went through this with my ex girlfriend - which is part of the reason she is now my ex. She didn't get the car thing at all, which is OK, but she would complain if I mentioned anything about cars and would make fun of my hobby when she was around her friends. One turning point was when we were engaged, and I had an offer to buy a running '77 F150 with a nice Texas bed and almost new 35" BFG Mud Terrains for $500 from a buddy. He needed money quick because he just blew his car up, and the bed alone was worth $500, so I jumped on it. She was furious at me dragging home this truck, because I had spent money on a "piece of junk" and because I hadn't "consulted" her before purchasing. She was even more furious when I started using the multicolored beater as my daily transportation instead of my new F150. She thought it was an eyesore when I showed up at her house with it (even though I thought it looked tough, 4" lift and 35s). Mind you we were only engaged at the time, not living together, and we kept completely separate incomes. I also made 3 times what she did. $500 from time to time really doesn't hurt my bank account much, especially since I'm very frugal in other areas. I realized after that experience that it wasn't going to work out. She didn't understand me at all, and was not accepting of my interests. She really just wanted me as her boy toy, who shows up in my shiny truck and does what she says. That's not me, so I got out shortly after.

[milner351]

Her loss!