What the "F"

[Bamfster]

And all of the above is the reason I drop by as time permits, to help out where I can at my kid's schools. It gives me a quick "peek" inside their worlds, so hopefully I can do my part as a parent. When they tell me I can't do that anymore, is the day my kids quit going there.

[BluLightning]

Bob, I hope nothing I've said is construed as making this kid's actions OK. Ultimately, he did what he did and he'll have to pay the price for it. The reason for talking about the bullying is hopefully to prevent some other kid from taking this path. If one of us recognizes that this is happening to some kid that we know maybe we can help him past this, avoid this kind of tragedy, and maybe even help him live a better life.

Bulletproof - I never had that gun urge either. My Dad was a gun enthusiast and my brothers and I were taught early how to handle a gun and how to shoot (not that I was ever good at it). Dad stressed gun safety over all else - I think he learned in the National Guard. I didn't stay with it (I was too busy messin' with cars) but I have the basic knowledge. Killed a few skeet, even though most died as a result of contact with the ground. So I guess I always knew that firing a gun at someone was forever.

Dan

No worries Dan. It just seems to be the excuse du jour.

I was bullied, like many others but never in any of my wildest dreams did taking a gun to school and shooting the place up seem like a viable option.

[STINEY]

Just a few weeks ago I had a little meeting with our Elementary Principal.

Seems my son in Kindergarten was caught handing a note to another little girl on the bus. The "note" was a full page paper with a full paragraph of several sentences with correct sentence structure, spelling of 3 sylable words, and good grammer/punctuation.

Too bad it was also basically a death threat to the little girl. Complete with a rather good drawing of a hand weilding a bloody knife.

The bus driver sent it home with my kindergartener, as the driver didn't want to handle the papertrail of reporting it properly.

So I took matters into my own hands, and stopped by for a visit with the Principal the next morning. He was obviously annoyed with my interuptance of his morning (rolling his eyes and sighing loudly), but I insisted on 5 minutes of his time. I handed him the paper and told the story of how this was sent home with my son, and that I was concerned.

He informed me that I should be concerned, and of the seriousness of such an incident. Started in on how parents don't realize what their kids are absorbing from TV and Computer Games and such, then went on to ask if I had talked about this with my son?

I replied that I did talk briefly with my son, and also asked the Principal for suggestions on just what exactly I should say? He then started to leave, stating that at this point we need to get a counselor involved for the childs' well-being.

I said that was fine, but first I had a favor to ask of him. (he was apparently not impressed that I, obviously raising a serial-killer, would have the audacity to be asking HIM a favor, given the look on his face) But I persisted. I stated my desire that at the same time as we counsel my child, could we please also evaluate him for possible advancement to at least the 3rd or 4th grade?

After all, while the content of the letter was extremely inappropriate, he had to admit that the spelling, grammer, punctuation, even the artwork was of incredible ability for a child barely halfway through Kindergarten.

He turned a strange shade of red at this point. Maybe the heating system kicked on? Maybe not....

I then present my son's doodle book we gave him, specifically to keep him occupied on the bus ride. Not to deride my sons abilities (I am quite proud of him and his work in fact) but it is obviously of Kindergarten level. Typical crayons and marker stuff, complete the ABC's, draw a stick figure of family, etc.

He now states he will meet with the bus driver and try to figure this out, although for my information they DO have Kindergarteners performing at that level. (bull-pucky, and if they do why are they still in kindergarten?)

I offer to save him some time, and share that I have already spoken with the bus driver. Apparently once I pointed out to her that my son is incapable of the work on the paper she realized where it must have originated. I shared that childs name with the Principal, and all the lights went on.

He and the child are well-acquainted already it seems? Imagine that? Hmmm.

I said I had one more thing and I would leave him to his work, as I knew he was a busy man. I stated that while I did not like presenting problems without a solution, sometimes I must defer to people who specialize in the field. The problem I see is this child in question is in the 4th grade, and according to the bus driver "will never be able to sit with his own age group if he can't learn to behave".............is the best place to situate this child on the bus REALLY to sit them with the Kindergarten kids?

Isn't that a little like letting the wolf in with the lambs?

I then shook his hand (something he would not do when I entered his office, by the way) wished him luck in his day, and went on to work.

It has been a few weeks, and I have to report that while my child was in danger of expulsion, the actual perpetrator (who has a history remember?) suffered NO time off school and is still sitting with the little kids on the bus.

Perfect.

(This is just one story of many about my personal experiences with our current educational system, I would share them all but am compiling them for a possible book deal. I also saved the original paper and several other items that this child gave to my son. Document everything seems to be the game, shame on me if I don't play it.)

Edit: I forgot to mention that this is the same school who is being sued by, in the words of the school board, "disgruntled parents" at the high school level for ignoring video documentation of advanced bullying of their daughter. The evidence was presented to the teachers, then administration, and finally in a suprise visit to the school board in a meeting with media involvement they were not expecting. And a couple of years ago, a student was apprehended with a pistol on school grounds, not threatening anyone, but for his own personal protection from the privileged few popular/jock kids who absolutely would not leave him be.

[antmnte]

I was being picked on when I was about 16 by this douche bag, I hit him with a piece of wood in the head while he was messin with me and he didnt anymore. Maybe thats what is needed most of the time a, little taste of their own medicine. Reverse bullying I guess.

[OldMachinist]

After reading all this thread it reinforces what I observed in my daughters high school 15 years ago. The teachers and faculity cannot discipline the kids in any way for fear of being fired or sued so they seem to ignore problems and hope they will go away. I am in no way advocating extreme corporal punishment but in my day the "board" of education connected with my smart ass more than a few times and it sure straightened my attitude out.
I also know that the kids know their parents can't touch them for fear of criminal charges so they are limited in what they can do. My 34 year old nephew more than once dared his dad to touch him so he could call the cops on him when he was a teenager.
Again I in no way advocate physically hurting kids but a good whack on the ass will sometimes do a world of good.

[SuperBuickGuy]

We teach our kids that there is no higher moral authority than the one within themselves. We fill their heads with violence in movies, ads, even their cartoons. We let them interact with people far older than them on the internet without much, if any supervision (like it'd even be possible). We are told if we keep them from the internet they are being abused. We give them phones that reinforce their privacy and non-supervision. We give them video games that celebrate death, bimbos, and lack of responsibility. And now we're surprised by the kids we've created.

I'm sorry, but last time I checked a surprising event was something we didn't see coming. This is reaping the whirlwind, not a surprise.

[DanStokes]

Exactly, SBG.

I was married/with a Michigan teacher for 18 years. During that time I saw a lot of weird changes in the school process, much as a response to litigation. For example, by the time we broke up (about 23 years ago) she was no longer allowed to HUG a child either as a restraint or simply as a positive reinforcement. She saw teachers fired for hugging a child and the suit was not brought by the parent but by the school administration. They were afraid of being sued. It's weird.

Frankly, the EX was not a very good teacher but how do you function when a lot of parents (not all) bring their kids to school and say "Raise my child. You can't keep them after school, you can't TOUCH them, you can't assign extra work because I don't have the time (interest) to supervise them - but it's up to you to raise them." This is NOT an exaggeration. I assure you that most educators welcome involved parents - this principal demonstrates another issue with principals being promoted on the basis of education (they get a post-grad degree in administration) rather than some demonstrated ability to lead the staff and work with the parents. But most teachers and administrators WANT to do well with each child.

Dan