Killing a co-worker - if it's justified, is it legal?

[Beagle]

So, my neighbor, we call him Body Function Man because he can't make five minutes without a belch, fart, or some other body function noise. Here's my account for my other MIA neighbor this morning.

8:07, bfm strikes a sour note, been here five minutes and sounds like he might need a trip to wipe that one up. Thought you would like to know.

8:10 - bfm singing. Been here 8 minutes now and I'm already prepared to kill. Can this idiot not be silent for 10 minutes?

8:10:30 - bfm hacks up first booger of the day.

8:10:45, not kidding.. first belch. It's a beauty. Good lord.

pdub, you're in HR right? How do you handle this when an employee complains? The girls around here have said something several times about the loud belching and farting - doesn't even say excuse me. Jeeez, even my dad says "'scuse"




8:15, not content to just drive me crazy, he's humming and singing to customer on the phone.
8:16 making up technical terms. For the AD guys in the forum "Forest Admin" is a made up term.

he's louder than my headphones. My filter is already broken. Usually I can filter this out....

[82z]

Don't leave witnesses

[Beagle]

I don't think anybody here would have "seen anything"...

8:20, in the absence of the made up Forest Admin, customer asks if "Enterprise Admin" would work. Yes, that's the one. Kind of like a customer have to say "cam lobe?" to the tech guy at Comp Cams who says "Lumpy thing on stick"... eek.

[milner351]

A Chrysler employee decided he'd had enough of a co-worker yesterday - stabbed the guy to death, in front of a bunch of folks, fled the scene and was found with a self inflicted fatal gunshot wound to the head a few hours later..... tragic. Don't go there.


A co-worker here asked to be moved from one part of the "cube farm" to another, her wish was granted.

[catchmeblue70]

I'd just file some sort of formal complaint and get the others to do so as well. Mental distress, health code violation, choose whatever reason you want.

[Bamfster]

When I was a baby cop, I was assigned to work night shift as relief (basically bouncing from car to car to fill in for days off, etc) and I routinely would work w/an old timer name Hal ..... guy had been a cop longer than I'd been alive. Hal had a unique talent to fart on demand. You could say "Hal, rip one" and just like that, he'd lay a trail of wolf bait that would make you look forward to finding that rotting body.

One night while working w/him, we ate at a new mexican place.....ooops! We were handling a typical BS neighbors arguing call and the complainant was less than cordial to Hal and I. He gives me the wink, and proceeds to fumigate the no-bedroom apartment we were in. As he's heading into 1/2 time on the push, his eyes get real wide and his face turns red. He's says "sorry ma'am, we gotta run" and we head out the door. He tosses me the keys and says it's my turn to drive and he jumps in the passenger seat, sitting kinda side saddle like. No words were spoken as I was pretty sure I knew what had happened and I started heading for the station. He reaches over and turns on the lights and siren, and thus, the term within the DPD "code 10 to code brown" was born.

That little lesson still didn't learn Hal. Several months later while he was working the desk, he had to toss his drawers in the trash .....

[JOES66FURY]

you wouldnt last a minute in my shop. 60 guys and 2 girls...lots of methane gas up in here.

[BangShift McT]

First thing in the morning, I'm cleaning Fruity Pebbles off the damn computer screen...

[JOES66FURY]

fight fire with fire I say...load up on beans, beans the magical fruit.....

[DanStokes]

Judge says it's cheaper if you don't kill 'em. I'd drop it in HR's lap (sorry Peewee). That's why they get the Big Bux.

Dan

[BangShift McT]

[Monk]

[Thumpin455]

Flatulence and poor manners are the issue? About the closest I have come to a problem with that is one of my airmen who didnt know what a shower was, or how to launder his uniform. Didnt help he was a dirtbag A1C that always seemed to come up missing on my days off, so I would have to go find him. He never left us directions to his house for recall, so I had to hunt him down like I was searching for Bin Laden. Once I found his place he would be evicted and then I would have to do it again the next week when the old place called the Commander.

I have lots of stories of people who deserved some fratricide, and a couple of them will get a beatin thrown their way if I ever see them again in the civ world. The worst ones were supervisors, everything else could be handled easy enough. Most of the civilian jobs where I had problems with others were some guy feeling sore because I knew more than he did, or didnt understand that I was efficient at my machining and started complaining to the boss I was lazy and took too long of breaks. Crap like that. Not worth killing anyone over compared to the shit in the military that affected my life for years after they did it.

[SuperBuickGuy]

I presume you've done the hints? If so, then declare and start a cube war - move stuff in his cube; take stuff; put anti-seize on something he grabs frequently; sneezing powder in his drawer; and I'd actually go the other way - laxatives in cookies for him - then he'd be in a place more suitable for him.

[Dan Barlow]

First thing, delete this post. It shows premeditation.