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Bob goes bonkers, How to Hot Rod a '98 Dodge Grand Caravan?

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  • Bob goes bonkers, How to Hot Rod a '98 Dodge Grand Caravan?

    Our family has a long history of trading cars, trucks, whatever, back and forth. "you need a car, here I've got an extra." "You can't fix that POS? Well I'll take a stab at it."

    So my brother calls me up a week ago and says "hey, you want my '98 Dodge Grand Caravan...I don't have room for it any more and I'm going to get rid of it." "How much do you want for it?" "Standard family price...come get it out of my driveway and its yours..." Usually, since I'm the car guy in the family (well except for Dad, but he's not in the trading rounds anymore at 73) it means that whatever ails the vehicle is befuddling whomever currently has the car. Last time this happened my sister gave me back the family ranger cause it would over heat and cut out while jr was driving on the freeway (when the timing is set at tdc, things don't work right, but that's another story).

    Anyhow, I was in the market for a cheap DD while I finish recuperating and finally attack the "Red Furd" SVO. So I was game.

    The Caravan has lived a rather well traveled life. My Bro had gone through a divorce and was commuting 320 miles a day round trip in order to maintain a well paying job and still help raise his kids. The vehicle had 322,000 miles (yep thats right) with the usual deferred maintenance. (why can't I say no to "free") So he gut hooked me and I drove down to San Jose to pick up the "diamond in a goats ass."

    Now you have to understand that I've been driving an F-350 diesel 4x4 pickup gets 10 miles a gallon on a good day. My weekly fuel bill was pushing close to $200 a week given the amount of work that I was doing out of town. So I was in a weakened state, ripe for the picking. And, I thought, not having to crawl up into that truck would help with the rehabilitation of my back...funny how you can rationalize these things.

    So my youngest son and I borrow my oldest son's MINI (can you say 30 mpg...with a blower!!) haul ass down to San Jose and pick up "Incognito." The white suppository of a mini-van.

    So I get there and we start to hear the rest of the story...tags are up in October (this is October, right) the struts are soft (!!!!!!) it leaks a little water (uh oh) and the power steering leaks a bottle every day. And looking at the tires, they were bald 5,000 miles ago.

    But all I'm thinking is FREE! Always my favorite price.

    So, my Bro signs over the pink. And frankly, I'm thrilled. I refused to buy one of these things when I should have. When the kids were around this thing would have been great. But I was an idiot, no way would I purchase the best people mover the world has ever seen, I wasn't a soccer dad tied to the chore of child rearing. No Way! Man was I stupid... What a great concept, easy to see out of, easy to get into, can swallow so much cargo we could have gone on vacation with out all the endless arguments of "you can't bring that, the kids crap is taking up all the room, tell your parents that they'll have to ship that stuff, etc. etc. etc."

    So I'm hooked hard. Then the drive starts home. HOLY CRAP! "The struts are soft" Hell I'm not sure there are struts. One of the things we pride ourselves on is that we can drive "car guy" safe vehicles. You know what I mean. Vehicles that aren't safe for the general public are "car guy safe", cause we know how to baby those pieces of crap and get all we can out of them.

    THIS WASN'T EVEN CAR GUY SAFE!! I'm over in the slow lane cowering as it wallows its way back and forth. Finally, mustering my best "300" mental growl I think "this is a good day to die" and power that POS up and hold on. I swear to God that over the Altamont Pass the tires actual hit the top of the fender well. YeeHawwwwwwww.

    Best thing is I only used a quarter tank of gas running from San Jose to Wilton...Awesome, considering that I figured that it was going to cost over $200 to drive the F-350.

    So, what have I done since I got "Incognito" (my brother's nickname for the "White Suppository"). Monday it went in for struts, KYB's. I got a call from the guys doing the work. Apparently, the bearing plates were cracked, (). So that's been fixed.

    I had the codes pulled on the check engine light, catalytic converter needs to be replaced...You think? Hasn't been replaced in 322,000 miles. Maybe that's why its a dog, overheats, and has an exhaust leak. But, I found a guy (everyone needs this kind of guy in California) that'll install a CARB legal cat for less than I can find the part for.

    One problem...that overheating problem.

    Yep, the Suppository set a record for needing a tow. Three days of ownership. I love my insurance agent. When I call and tell them "I need to insure X for the state minimums", they automatically know to put towing on it. Saved my ass today. Lower radiator hose blew out, leaving me on the side of the road.

    So where do I go from here...Well I'm hoping you guys can help.

    How do you hot rod a minivan?
    I'm still learning

  • #2
    1.tint the windows as dark as you can 2. soccer ball sticker in the back window. 3. wear a ex president face mask ( just in case u see a fellow car guy. Great read!
    used to be purplecobra, now just myself. I still drive a mustang!!!!!

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    • #3
      Clueless on mods for a Caravan, however reading this made me think of this. Maybe rob and modify parts meant for a Neon or Eclipse.
      Lon. HazelGreen Ala.

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      • #4
        I'm thinking along the lines of a rear drive conversion and an svo 4 banger up front.
        Life is short. Be a do'er and not a shoulda done'er.
        1969 Galaxie 500 https://bangshift.com/forum/forum/ba...ild-it-s-alive
        1998 Mustang GT https://bangshift.com/forum/forum/ba...60-and-a-turbo
        1983 Mustang GT 545/552/302/Turbo302/552 http://www.bangshift.com/forum/forum...485-bbr-s-83gt
        1973 F-250 BBF Turbo Truck http://www.bangshift.com/forum/forum...uck-conversion
        1986 Ford Ranger EFI 545/C6 https://bangshift.com/forum/forum/ba...tooth-and-nail

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        • #5
          88 mm turbo and a 200 shot of NOS to spool it up. If that isn't enough borrow some nitro from Chassisman. Oh yeah, I hear the GE J-57 jets are still available pretty cheap and will fit if you remove the third row seat.
          BS'er formally known as Rebeldryver

          Resident Instigator

          sigpic

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          • #6
            The later caravans had an AWD option, so there's go to be a way to make it rwd and do some burnouts...

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            • #7
              use it as a trade in on a running mustang?
              Doing it all wrong since 1966

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              • #8
                Why did I picture Top Gear USA's Town and Country in the Minivan Challenge? Check it out after it gets it's new rims and tires...and pushbar...and winch...
                Editor-at-Large at...well, here, of course!

                "Remy-Z, you've outdone yourself again, I thought a Mirada was the icing on the cake of rodding, but this Imperial is the spread of little 99-cent candy letters spelling out "EAT ME" on top of that cake."

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Lon_H View Post
                  Clueless on mods for a Caravan, however reading this made me think of this. Maybe rob and modify parts meant for a Neon or Eclipse.
                  Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner. Now if you want to get rid of some weight, cut the.middle out and weld it back up. Kind of a cheap Mini Cooper.
                  Previously HoosierL98GTA

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                  • #10
                    Bob, hit up Mater. He'll know.

                    I'm sorry man. I know for a fact now that you have had your manhood robbed from you - you sorta forgot to mention the first thing any CAR GUY should mention.

                    What size engine does it have?

                    hehe. The 3.0 may be a Mitsu, could be a good base to work with. The 2.4 might be the same as the Neon, good idea on hanging a Neon turbo on it if it is. The 3.3 I have nothing, hoping our resident Dodg-a-ratti expert Mater will chime in on it.

                    TINT THE DAMN WINDOWS... lol. They're like a moped, fun in a sick kind of way, but you don't want anyone to see you driving one. Paint "Bob's Glass Service" on the side or something so you don't have to park it in the back of the o'reilly's, where it will be parking a LOT from what I have read of them.

                    I've got bad news for you about the handling, they wallowed like that when they were new. Sister had one, holy crap scary at 70, and it was new!

                    Oh, and rather than referring to it as Butt Plug, I think maybe "Parts hauler" will restore some of your previously untarnished reputation.
                    Last edited by Beagle; October 17, 2012, 04:42 AM.
                    Flying south, with a flock of bird dogs.

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                    • #11
                      Back half it! .... It'll be a lot cheaper since you won't have to chop an axle.
                      Whiskey for my men ... and beer for their horses!

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                      • #12
                        if it's the 3.0 mitsu it's a miracle it lasted this long - you may have a museum piece. That engine in my exs lebaron "GTC" blew a head gasket at about 60k.
                        There's always something new to learn.

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                        • #13
                          you don't...you drive it and fix the SVO
                          If you can leave two black stripes from the exit of one corner to the braking zone of the next, you have enough horsepower. - Mark Donohue

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by JOES66FURY View Post
                            you don't...you drive it and fix the SVO


                            3.3l V6. Even changing sparks plugs will be a chore.
                            I'm still learning

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                            • #15
                              Bob
                              I understand wanting an economical daily driver - but if this one needs this much work - how long will you have to be embarassed driving it to make your money back?

                              Fix the SVO, drive it. I dare say it will get better MPG than the van, and, well, it's not a minivan....
                              There's always something new to learn.

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