Dan's Talkin' Souhern Dictionary

[Huskinhano]

Many years ago a friend went down south on a service call for the equipment his company had sold for some modifications. When he was done, the person who he dealt with he has to show the operator of the equipment the changes he made. The guy responded, "bofus". My friend is the excitable NYC type that gets excitable real quick. He said get Mr Bofus. The exchange went back and forth a few times until the manager who he was dealing with said, bofus, you, me, bofus!

[tedly]

Kudzu - A plant spawned in the pits of hell and unleashed on an unwitting Earth.
"What's a kudzu?" "You don't just have A kudzu, hun."
"How do you grow kudzu?" "Break off a piece, throw it on the ground and run like hell!"

[pdub]

Kudzu - A plant spawned in the pits of hell and unleashed on an unwitting Earth.
"What's a kudzu?" "You don't just have A kudzu, hun."
"How do you grow kudzu?" "Break off a piece, throw it on the ground and run like hell!"

HhahaahahAHaHaH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yep. Absolutely. Tedly, that's funny right there. And 96% true, it sure is.

EDIT: The missing 4% of truth is you don't actually have to run like hell. Chances are, if you're decently mobile, you can actually walk away fast enough to keep from being swallowed by it.

[tedly]

You have to sleep sometime Peewee. I prefer to be far away from that stuff when I do.

For those unfamiliar with kudzu, an illustration. It was imported as landscaping and ground cover I believe and went absolutely apes@#t in the southern climate. It grows up to a foot in a single day. There's whole areas of Tennessee, Georgia, and the Carolinas buried under this stuff. There's a house underneath it in one of the pics.

[pdub]

You have to sleep sometime Peewee. I prefer to be far away from that stuff when I do.

HhHAhahAHaHahahAH!!!!! HHAHahahahahaH!!!!!!!!!

So, somebody post a poll. How many people here actually I mean REALLY know what Tedly's talking about? I sure do.

Yes, I DO. HAHAHAHAAHHAH!!!! I never thought kudzu could ever be funny, but Tedly, you made it be so. That's great stuff right there.

[pdub]

You have to sleep sometime Peewee. I prefer to be far away from that stuff when I do.

For those unfamiliar with kudzu, an illustration. It was imported as landscaping and ground cover I believe and went absolutely apes@#t in the southern climate. It grows up to a foot in a single day. There's whole areas of Tennessee, Georgia, and the Carolinas buried under this stuff. There's a house underneath it in one of the pics.

Treed me Tedly, you done good. Years ago, back when things were smaller and different that they are now, a bunch of us from the mill would sit around on picnic tables outside a little convenience store and drink beer in public after working all night on 3rd shift. The place was close to the mill, right beside the railroad tracks. The CSXT line going to Monroe, a grade crossing with no flop-dpwn bars in those days, the train speed limit on that line was 75 mph I think. It was a thrill sitting about 60 feet from a freight train going by that fast while guzzling a beer after night shift.

None of that has to do with anything, but one morning one our esteemed coworkers got to enjoying things so much, and some "other" folks showed up for him to drink with on the picnic tables (in the morning after work, remember) that he stayed right there long after we'd all left to get some sleep.

He lived out in the country close to the mill and there was no traffic and no cops back then so he was fearless. And he ran his car off the road on the way home. Only a bit shaken up, he crawled out of the ditch and staggered the rest of the way home, about a half mile.

The next day he went back and could not find the car. He couldn't exactly remember where he left the road, he just drove it off the road so there were no marks on the pavement. It took him and his buddies THREE days to find the car, whacking with machetes. Kudzu had hidden the car where it was sitting.

True story. I swear.

[tedly]

Sorry PDub, didn't see your post until after I edited.

[pdub]

Sorry PDub, didn't see your post until after I edited.

HhHAhahah!!!!!!!!! Thsi whole thread has been a whole boatpot full of fun! Wait, that's not a Yankee term either, is it?

[DanStokes]

Interesting thing about kudzu is that it's excellent animal feed but it seems to grow were animals can't get to it readily. If we could get the cows and sheep and such to the kudzu it would be gone. Also a great source for bio fuel if folks would harvest it (Todd, you listening?). Definitely a Southern thing however you look at it.

Dan

[pdub]

Interesting thing about kudzu is that it's excellent animal feed but it seems to grow were animals can't get to it readily. If we could get the cows and sheep and such to the kudzu it would be gone. Also a great source for bio fuel if folks would harvest it (Todd, you listening?). Definitely a Southern thing however you look at it.

Dan

I believe without searching for the truth that kudzu was brought here from China or somewhere a real long time ago as a miracle cure for soil erosion. Yeah, it'll stop that alright, but....another good idea gone bad.

Tedly's description of it is hilarious and on target. It's a horror movie. Why didn't anybody in Hollywood ever make a movie about kudzu?

Because they don't have it there, I reckon. Reality is whatever is in your face at the time. And horror is whatever deeply affects the members of the huge audience.

[catchmeblue70]

Dad called Brazil Nuts those^^^^^^toes.

I've never heard that one. Round here nuts are nuts but pecans are puh-cahns.

[pdub]

I've never heard that one. Round here nuts are nuts but pecans are puh-cahns.

Yeah, South Carolina, yeah. That's what they were called. I guess I was in high school before I ever knew they had another "actual" name, Brazil nuts.

[Deaf Bob]

Asked my wife who is from Iowa what ni@@&$ toes were
Missed no beat... Brazil nuts, everybody knows that!

[Thumpin455]

Interesting thing about kudzu is that it's excellent animal feed but it seems to grow were animals can't get to it readily. If we could get the cows and sheep and such to the kudzu it would be gone. Also a great source for bio fuel if folks would harvest it (Todd, you listening?). Definitely a Southern thing however you look at it.

Dan

Yeah Dan, there are a bunch of people down south working on kudzu to fuel. It is better than corn for yield by weight, and the stuff grows so fast with just sunlight we would never run out of fuel or food cor livestock. Supposedly its very easy to make into fuel too. I see kudzu I see fuel that could be made, just need to get people to understand ethanol wont hurt your damn car, and it isnt a communist plot to make farmers rich either.

Peewee I am pretty sure its from Japan, but its definitely Asian. The first time I saw kudzu I thought of the Creep Show episode where Stephen King finds a meteorite that sprouts some grass looking stuff whenever water touches it, and it clings to everything it touches.

Definitely a problem down south, but also a solution if people ever decide to change how long their engines last for the better.

[Beagle]

Asian Jasmine down south here, like on the coast down south Texas, you can't kill the stuff. I wish it would make fuel... or poison ivy / poison oak, since I seem to be farming that stuff.