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do they have a Hallmark card for this ......

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  • do they have a Hallmark card for this ......

    sorry i broke your penis card ...

    MMA fighter Ray 'Magical' Elbe has been admitted to hospital sporting a far worse injury than any he could potentially suffer while inside the cage.

    While on holidays in Malaysia Elbe was engaged in a vigorious bout of love making with his girlfriend when a slight slip put him in hospital for five days.

    Elbe's girlfriend was launched into the air and landed at an awkward angle which caused a 'fracture of the penis and slight tear in the urinary tube' of Elbe's manhood.

    Posting to MMA forum Bloody Elbow, Elbe said the shock of the initial injury caused another immediately after.

    "When it first happened ... blood was everywhere ... to the point I passed out," Elbe said.

    "Falling face first I ko'd myself on the floor, chipping two teeth and busting my chin."

    The facial injury required 10 stiches while the other more painful injury seemed to bring Elbe an unwanted audience.

    "The worst part of this has been the fact that literally everyone who works in the hospital has come in asking to see my shaft out of curiosity."

    "Guess in a muslim country this type of accident isn't as frequent as you would suspect."

    However things may not be as bad as they seem for Elbe. The ordeal seems to have brought him closer to his girlfriend with the powerful welterweight fighter revealing a potential upside.

    "Lesson learned, I will never let a girl on top again. Everything was under control until 1 (sic) bounce went a 'little' too high," Elbe said.

    "On a side note, looks like I will be getting engaged in Boracay next month."

    "In an attempt to make it up to me she has promised me a threesome of my choice when we get to the Philippines. Which usually has some solid talent."

    Elbe had a short-lived appearance on season nine of the UFC's reality show, The Ultimate Fighter, but has never made it into top-flight MMA competition.
    Charles W - BS Photographer at large

  • #2
    OW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I R Bob
    You can't drink all day unless you start in the morning!
    2007 LH, 2008 LH, 2009 LH, 2010 LH, 2011 LH, 2012 DNF/BLOW'D UP, 2013 LH, 2014 LH

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    • #3
      I had to check a pacemaker on a guy who had a fractured penis. The doc wanted to make sure he didn't get shocked too.


      That would be adding insult to injury.


      Funniest part was when the doc told me, "Yeah, I keep tellin' him to chill out, but this is his THIRD TIME."
      Yes, I'm a CarJunkie... How many times would YOU rebuild the same engine before getting a crate motor?




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      • #4
        Bent for her pleasure?

        ...sweetmercifulf*ckOWWWWWWWWWW...!!!
        Editor-at-Large at...well, here, of course!

        "Remy-Z, you've outdone yourself again, I thought a Mirada was the icing on the cake of rodding, but this Imperial is the spread of little 99-cent candy letters spelling out "EAT ME" on top of that cake."

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        • #5
          I've had some experience with this area of the anatomy. You guys may THINK you know how badly this will hurt. You don't know, believe me. Sorry the guy has to go thru this - I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

          Dan

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