Autism Questions

[DanStokes]

Anyone here have a child with autism? We just found out that our youngest grandson is autistic, seemingly toward the "mild" end of the spectrum. He's not quite 3 and is totally non-verbal so we had suspicions for a while now. He's s sweet little guy and we're looking for ways to be the best Grandparents we can be for him.

We're reading "10 Things Your Autistic Child Would Tell You If He Could" and there are a bunch of helpful things in it but I'm wondering how those who deal with it on a daily basis help their kids grow and flower.

Our situation is especially difficult as we live halfway across the country from him so we just sort of drop out of the sky and into his life from time to time and I'm sure we seem like space aliens to him.

Thanks for your thoughtful input.

Dan

[Bamfster]

We don't have autism in our family, but, in all the years of helping out at the kid's schools, chaperoning field trips and such, I've found they are no different than what society terms "normal". They are quieter, pay more attention to detail, and are typically one sided in what they want.

One young man I had the pleasure of hanging out with had told me once that it was his parents that made him feel "different". They always had to point out the autism to everyone. After that, I learned to never bring it up, and treat the kids with it no different than any of the others. After I got past that hurdle, he opened up, and we became good friends. He's roughly 22 years old now, still lives at home, and I still see him from time to time .... he's got a memory like an elephant!

[Loren]

Without much direct experience it would be my observation that family is extremely important to an autistic, where they adjust to him as an individual, earn/maintain his trust and bring the world to him (and him to the world) in the healthy way we all should experience growing up. Seeing parents completely not worry about what "others" think while they do so is an impressive thing.

[BBR]

I know 2 kids with autism. Both are pretty high functioning.

They tend to get fixated on topics or actions. One was intensely interested in plumbing of all things and loved stories and books on plumbing. Try to find a kid's book on plumbing sometime! Not easy! He used to have behavioral problems, but I think they have that pretty well under control now. The other has a fixation on smell. He smells things constantly. He played on my youngest son's baseball team and was an ok player. He just felt the need to smell the bat before he hit, or the ball before he threw it. Drove us crazy until his dad told us what was going on. We though he was kissing it. haha

[DanStokes]

So far the stories you have related are in line with the "10 Things" book. Mostly, they're just kids with differing perceptions of the world around them.

Thanks for the input - and keep it coming.

Dan

[68scott385]

I don't how to respond other than say my heart goes out to you & yours and the rest of you and for a guy that does not shed water easily this is a real bitch to type without windshield wipers.

[DanStokes]

Really not that bad a challenge, evidently. These kids seem to generally grow up to live a productive life though they may get there on a different path. We'll walk it with him. My son and DIL are taking this head-on and will be and do what he needs. LOVE those kids! It'll be interesting to see how his VERY verbal big bro (5) will adapt - probably just fine as it will be all he's ever known.

Dan

[nickleone]

Check out this web site and the woman.

http://templegrandin.com/

From what I have read about her methods and interviews I believe she has it nailed.
She is autistic.

Nick

[DanStokes]

I know of Dr. Grandin. She's AMAZING! There was a movie done about her. It's too early to know if some of her methods will work for the little guy but we'll sure keep her in mind.

She's a real trailblazer and stunningly smart. Autism does not equal dumb! She's even learned to be hugged which was a BIG breakthru for her. BTW - most beef cattle in the US (maybe Canada?) are handled using her methods. It keeps the cattle calm as they head for the slaughter and is both MUCH more humane and more efficient. No more "Yippie Aye Tie Oh!" just calm cattle walking to their final purpose.

Dan

[PatricksDad]

Dan,

The spectrum that covers these disorders is crazy wide. Regardless of where your nugget falls, you and his folks are 90% of the way there, with the attitude you have.

The victories are so much more rewarding when the challenges are greater.

[Barry Donovan]

I know 2 kids with autism. Both are pretty high functioning.

They tend to get fixated on topics or actions. One was intensely interested in plumbing of all things and loved stories and books on plumbing. Try to find a kid's book on plumbing sometime! Not easy! He used to have behavioral problems, but I think they have that pretty well under control now. The other has a fixation on smell. He smells things constantly. He played on my youngest son's baseball team and was an ok player. He just felt the need to smell the bat before he hit, or the ball before he threw it. Drove us crazy until his dad told us what was going on. We though he was kissing it. haha

That is interesting. Seeking out where life might have changed. plumbing is a leak free flow done right..smells has the chemistry that kills. Parkinsons is a variant of the autisms.. egotistical doctors have only one thing, a paycheck. I had two "lefty" in my family. Humanity is a colorful amazing thing.

A lot of the judging of those diseases, is cannibalism at the source. Absolutely terrible. Treat anyone normal until the need for codependence is revealed...and stay nice.

[NewEnglandRaceFan]

best thing you can do is have unlimited amount of patience..
And treat him just like the other grand kids..

[Karberator]

I feel for special needs kids and their parents.

I've never had any experience with an autistic child,but my wife's first cousin and her husband have an infant with Down's. She's just as sweet as she can be. My wife and I went to a benefit walk for kids with Down's last weekend,and it was my first time to meet the little girl. What a doll. It really brings you down to Earth to see all those wonderful kids and their families! You realize you really don't have anything to complain about after you've been around them. My wife's cousin's husband has a 1931 Fire Truck,and he brought it so the kids could have their picture taken by it. After the event I rode in it down to where the trailer was parked. That was fun!

Whew! Who's chopping onions around here??

[phitter67]

I worked with a guy with an autisic son. Extemely smart, but may not let you know it. Like most kids, would connect with some people and not others. Jake took to the wife and I, but we treated him like another kid. We watched him a time or two for them. He would read math books, like trig and calc. He is about 20 now. Changes were a problem sometimes. And he didn't like green beans, "feed em to the dog". As I was around him a lot, I have many more stories. Call me if you want. Tim

[Scott Liggett]

I really have trouble believing 1 in 167 kids are autistic. And, this is a sudden epidemic? No one, especially parents, want to look in the mirror as the cause of their kids problems.

I have no trouble believing doctors want easy diagnoses of kids and write scripts for it. I know the pharmaceuticals want it. Long term 'scripts are wonderful to their stock prices. Doctors have reduced themselves from healers to pushers for the drug companies. You go in, give them a list of symptoms, and they write a 'script that does nothing but suppress symptoms. Nothing to actually heal the root cause of your illness. The look of shock some doctors have when you actually press them to find the reason of your illness is amazing.

That said, I would have at a non traditional doctor looking at him for a second opinion before having the kid take a bunch of drugs and getting him in a special school.