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GM Goes "all in" for the Females . . . Names XX Prexy!

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  • GM Goes "all in" for the Females . . . Names XX Prexy!



    You thought it was bad just having your "significant other" boss 'ya around while driving. Now a bird's gonna be helming your favorite bailed-out car company . . . Tellin' 'ya what you're gonna drive . . . .

    I wonder how Ms. Barra looks in a swimsuit (just sayin')


    "Would you like an Eaton supercharger with that, Mister?" (Not new Jimmy Boss Mary Barra, BTW)
    Last edited by 38P; December 10, 2013, 10:47 AM.

  • #2
    GM's just movin' to the beat of our post-masculine world . . . .

    [W ]omen will control two thirds of consumer wealth in the U.S. over the next decade. . . . [W ]omen buy 65 percent of all new tires; make 65 percent of new car purchases and 45 percent of light trucks and SUV purchases.


    That explains what that minivan thingie's doing in your driveway, doesn't it?

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    • #3
      Originally posted by The Outsider View Post
      GM's just movin' to the beat of our post-masculine world . . . .





      That explains what that minivan thingie's doing in your driveway, doesn't it?
      Are you for real?
      "First I believe if you keep the RPM's high enough, ANYTHING is possible." PeeWee

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by PatricksDad View Post
        Are you for real?

        Hey, Jay Mohr says over on the BS main page that "You only make jokes about those you love" . . . and that wreckin' backmarker chicane . . . "Go Daddy" Danika (the other "Patrick") bought it . . . .



        Last edited by 38P; December 10, 2013, 11:07 AM.

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        • #5
          Df & finn meet the new jimmy boss mary barra



          Renaissance Center (in America's beautiful, progressive garden city, Detroit, MI) --

          Mary Barra: Show the gentlemen in.

          [DF & FINN enter, sartorially attired in their "Roadkill" best]

          Mary Barra: Could you shoot a little extra water to those plants . . . that man who used to be in charge kind of neglected them.

          DF: Uh, Ms. Barra . . . your worship . . . Uh . . . we're not gardeners. . . . I'm . . . David Freiburger . . . the Grand Master Supreme Wizard Executive-in-Charge of all "enthusiast" automotive publishing at Source Interlink . . . and this is my sidekick, Finnegan . . . .

          [FINN stares aimlessly out the window at boats on the Detroit river]

          Mary Barra: Source Interlink . . .where have I heard that name before . . . OH YES, YOU'RE THE LITTLE CUBICLE DWELLERS OUT IN CALIFORNIA THAT WE PAY TO SAY NICE THINGS ABOUT OUR WORLD-BEATING VEHICLES . . . .

          [Mary Barra pushes the intercom button]

          Mary Barra: How did this pair of apocalyptic dingleberries get on my schedule?

          Male Assistant: Um . . . uh . . . I'll get back to you on that.

          Mary Barra: Gentlemen, I'm kind of busy right now . . . figuring out how General Motors can achieve world domination . . . Supervising those MEN who muffed up the all those Volts that burst into flames . . . Picking out some decent drapes for my new office . . . So make it snappy! What can I do for you, today?

          DF: Well . . . Uh . . . I . . . We . . . Yeah, we just wanted to congratulate you for becoming the first female CEO of a automaker . . . and we wanted to see if we could help leverage the strong ties between Hot Rod magazine and GM . . .

          Mary Barra: HOT ROD MAGAZINE! Yes I've seen this rag . . . er . . . magazine . . . at the airport newsstand. Those guys down at GM Performance Parts just seem to rave about it and something we fund called "the Power Tour?"

          FINN: Is there any way you can comp me an LSX for a new drag boat?

          DF: Let me handle this, Finnegan! Yes, your Highness . . . uh . . . Madam President, we want . . .

          Mary Barra: No, let me tell you want I want . . .
          Last edited by 38P; December 10, 2013, 12:15 PM.

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          • #6
            Mary Barra: I saw in that excuse for a magazine a story about how some ugly old Ford was faster than our brilliant Camaro ZL1. That must have been some sort of . . . let's say "printer's mistake."

            FINN: No ma'am, we tried to rig it every way possible but the Shelby GT500 just smoked that Camaro.

            DF: But we put in the story how the Camaro is the one we'd all like to take home [under his breath] . . . if we weren't all so FREAKIN' underpaid . . . .

            Mary Barra: You gentlemen aren't receiving my meaning. At GM, we win. If you're going to stay part of our team, you gentlemen need to understand that.

            DF: But I have journalistic integrity to think about . . . .

            Mary Barra: Just try to buy groceries on your "journalist integrity" . . .

            DF: But . . . But . . .

            Mary Barra: I trust we won't need to have another little meeting like this. Next time, Camaro wins. Got it. And what's with the "camo" jams and flip flops? Is that cheap Mexican beer I'm smelling on your breath? Let's clean it up a little, gentlemen. We don't need any "riff raff" associated with this corporation. Got it? You're dismissed!

            [Mary Barra picks up the telephone]

            Mary Barra: Have security show these . . . Gentlemen . . . out, please.

            DF [to FINN]: OH NO! I forgot to ask her if she'd roll on an episode of "Roadkill" . . .

            FINN: Does this mean I'm not getting a free LSX?


            -----
            Disclaimer: This is a satire. All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
            Last edited by 38P; December 10, 2013, 12:16 PM.

            Comment


            • #7
              Hell ya my bride buys/pays for everything .... I'm justa retired, unemployed, middle age, average white guy without a criminal record .... I'm non-existent to the gubment! Everything is in her name ... she can have it.
              Whiskey for my men ... and beer for their horses!

              Comment


              • #8
                Just when I thought my opinion of you couldn't be worse...

                So let's get this straight, if it were a guy running GM; it'd be okay?
                wow - what some people will do for attention.
                Doing it all wrong since 1966

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by SuperBuickGuy View Post
                  Just when I thought my opinion of you couldn't be worse...

                  So let's get this straight, if it were a guy running GM; it'd be okay?
                  wow - what some people will do for attention.
                  the ceo is nothing but ears. Men stopped talking, getting their way, there is the woman.

                  RWD for everybody. Time for the fags to leave.
                  Previously boxer3main
                  the death rate and fairy tales cannot kill the nature left behind.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by SuperBuickGuy View Post
                    Just when I thought my opinion of you couldn't be worse...

                    So let's get this straight, if it were a guy running GM; it'd be okay?
                    wow - what some people will do for attention.
                    Try not to take this too seriously, Mr. lawyer-man. [That's a loose, family-friendly paraphrase from the late, great Gray Baskerville [RIP], BTW) After all this is a website will about a million page views and posts for a thread called "Girls posing with cars" or some such.

                    Why shouldn't we have a little fun with this certainly historic event?
                    Last edited by 38P; December 10, 2013, 12:37 PM.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by The Outsider View Post
                      Try not to take this too seriously, Mr. lawyer-man. [That's a loose, family-friendly paraphrase from the late, great Grey Baskerville [RIP], BTW) After all this is a website will about a million page views and posts for a thread called "Girls posing with cars" or some such.

                      Why shouldn't we have a little misogynistic fun with this certainly historic event?
                      Fixed it for ya'.
                      "First I believe if you keep the RPM's high enough, ANYTHING is possible." PeeWee

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by PatricksDad View Post
                        Fixed it for ya'.
                        What's misogynist about a strong woman (obviously, you don't get to run a Fortune 5 corporation without some MAJOR INTELLECTUAL HORSEPOWER), a couple of inebriated goofy surfer dudes, and a vintage photo of Linda Vaughn? Hmm?

                        If that's bad, perhaps you ought not to ever tune into MTV . . . . Just sayin.

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                        • #13
                          You're like my older kid in the backseat, with his finger 1/32" away from his sister's face, saying "I'm not touching you..."
                          Last edited by PatricksDad; December 10, 2013, 12:51 PM.
                          "First I believe if you keep the RPM's high enough, ANYTHING is possible." PeeWee

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            One other point . . .

                            My little satire is loosely modeled off of an old Joe Oldham story from the "High Performance Cars" magazine days . . . Oldham reported that after the magazine published an unflattering road test of a '71 Javelin AMX, the president of AMC himself dialed 'em up and "harangued" them for about eight minutes, before banning all Cars magazine staffers for life from AMC press events. (and the AMC boss was, for the record, a MAN . . . who later went on to be an esteemed faculty member at one of Michigan's higher learning institutions).

                            Life does sometimes imitate art.

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                            • #15
                              even ford doesn't want him on their side..

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