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Remy's Christmas Rant

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  • Remy's Christmas Rant

    First things first...It's not even F&*#ING December yet!!!!

    I've been innundated by the Christmas spirit, in ways that would make a well-seasoned convict cry foul. I can't walk into any shopping center other than Rite-Aid without hearing the Sounds of the Season. Santas are all over the place, and some of them are as fat and jolly as a crackhead. I've been hit with three evergreen branches already (for the record, none were covered in snow, none were mistletoe or holly, and no, none of them were from the Douglas Fir in the backyard..)

    In the house, my wife has put up our plastic Charlie Brown tree, DieselCat is busy trying to either break every ball on the tree or trying to eat the tree, I can't tell. Ever since she discovered the scented candle section of the PX my house has smelled like a cross between freshly-cut pine and apple cider, and she insists that when we use the television to listen to music, she picks the Christmas station (a healthy improvement from Radio Disney, by the way...)

    In the world at large, the adult-contemporary station I listen to on occasion has become "Your Holiday Headquarters" (aww, dammit!...), there's going to be a Christmas party this weekend in my hangar, my neighborhood is aglow with all the houses decorated (From a distance, I wonder if Chernobyl glows like this...) and I've already been forced through watching The Santa Clause 2 and 3 when she sits our friend's kid...there is a long list of medical procedures I'd rather be subjected to than to watch that again.


    I'm not anti-Christmas, not by a long shot. But damn, I'm still cleaning out the leftovers from "Kill the Feathered Thing and put 'im next to the 'taters" day! We skipped right over Thanksgiving, just Halloween (hell) to Christmas (heaven)...interesting.. :D

    Well, at least the shoppette is selling Maker's Mark Eggnog. Joyeux Noel...
    The former Remy-Z

    "Remy-Z, you've outdone yourself again, I thought a Mirada was the icing on the cake of rodding, but this Imperial is the spread of little 99-cent candy letters spelling out "EAT ME" on top of that cake."

  • #2
    Re: Remy's Christmas Rant

    Preach it brother!!!
    Doing it all wrong since 1966

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    • #3
      Re: Remy's Christmas Rant

      they keep it up and you would think christmas startes in august LOL ba humbug

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      • #4
        Re: Remy's Christmas Rant

        I remember being in a CVS drug store at the beginning of October as they were putting up both Halloween and Christmas stuff. Even their employees were commenting on the stupidity.
        BS'er formally known as Rebeldryver

        Resident Instigator

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        • #5
          Re: Remy's Christmas Rant

          The former Remy-Z

          "Remy-Z, you've outdone yourself again, I thought a Mirada was the icing on the cake of rodding, but this Imperial is the spread of little 99-cent candy letters spelling out "EAT ME" on top of that cake."

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          • #6
            Re: Remy's Christmas Rant

            I'm with ya, Remy. I can see maybe a two week celebration, or better yet just one week. A whole month (or more) is just too much.

            Did you hear about the bunch of retarded New Yorkers that trampled a Wal-Mart worker to death Friday morning? Obsessive consumerism at its worst. Those responsible should be forced to live in Haiti in absolute poverty for 10 years. Grrr.

            http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/...art_after.html
            The official Bangshift garage door guru. Just about anything can be built using garage door parts, trust me.

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            • #7
              Re: Remy's Christmas Rant

              Here's one for you Remy. Here in Ely we have only TWO music radio stations, starting NOVEMBER 1st one goes to 24 hour Christmas music! Pretty much cuts radio channel selection in half starting in November. The pretty much the only time I listen to the Christmas music station is when it's snowing.
              Escaped on a technicality.

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              • #8
                Re: Remy's Christmas Rant

                Funny you mention the pagan and Christian holiday....this is going to be me and the wife's first Christmas together, I'm really curious how this will work out in my house (She's Baptist, I'm ...not. LOL) Should be good...


                If I'm pushing luck here, let me know...but a old Army friend sent this to me this morning, I'm still trying to catch my breath..
                The former Remy-Z

                "Remy-Z, you've outdone yourself again, I thought a Mirada was the icing on the cake of rodding, but this Imperial is the spread of little 99-cent candy letters spelling out "EAT ME" on top of that cake."

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                • #9
                  Re: Remy's Christmas Rant

                  Yeah you shouldn't post that.... LOL

                  It's so funny I'm not going to take it down though...

                  Keith

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                  • #10
                    Re: Remy's Christmas Rant

                    Originally posted by dagenesta
                    Did you hear about the bunch of retarded New Yorkers that trampled a Wal-Mart worker to death Friday morning?
                    or the shooting?

                    http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/...r=U.S._4637468
                    My fabulous web page

                    "If it don't go, chrome it!" --Stroker McGurk

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                    • #11
                      Re: Remy's Christmas Rant

                      City Councilman Jim Ferguson says police have told him that the victims were two men with handguns who shot each other.
                      I mean, what are the odds.

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                      • #12
                        Re: Remy's Christmas Rant

                        Originally posted by TubbedCamaro
                        City Councilman Jim Ferguson says police have told him that the victims were two men with handguns who shot each other.
                        I mean, what are the odds.
                        Who brings a gun into ToyRUs except law enforcement, let alone pull it out over toys? 2 Darwin award contestants.
                        Tampa, FL

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                        • #13
                          Re: Remy's Christmas Rant

                          This year I have decided to keep mistletoe in my back pocket so all the jerks of the world can kiss my ass.
                          Hauling ass & sucking gas are the best uses for a truck.

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                          • #14
                            Re: Remy's Christmas Rant

                            Originally posted by TubbedCamaro
                            City Councilman Jim Ferguson says police have told him that the victims were two men with handguns who shot each other.
                            I mean, what are the odds.
                            Best part is, saves us Two trials! How ever the girlfriends/wife's are still locked up and going through our judicial system.
                            Escaped on a technicality.

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                            • #15
                              Re: Remy's Christmas Rant

                              My wife came home from shopping at Macys before Halloween and said they were putting up Christmas decorations.
                              I went to Macy's web page, lodged a complaint and informed them that by pushing Christmas so far forward, we would be doing NONE of our Christmas shopping with Macys, and would do precious little shopping with them from now on.
                              They actually replied with an email, and it wasn't a form letter. Said they understood, that they do test marketing at some stores and that must be one she was at, and that the Christmas season is very important to retailers.

                              I wrote back, told them I understood, but would continue to boycott them.

                              They may be windmills, but when you harpoon one, it feels good, if nothing else.

                              -Brad

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