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where I've been the last week +
I've been lurking here all day (first day back at work), wondering if I should post this or not.....well, I know a lot of you pretty well (I think) from what I've read. I've talked to a couple of you in PM's and phone conversations. You're all a bunch of good guys (mostly.....) that my old man would like to talk to.......
See, my dad died Tuesday, Jan 13.
After suffering a loooong battle with different cancers, dialysis, and congestive heart failure, he died from, of all things, Hypoxia.
Basically, he could no longer (due to anemia) eliminate Nitrogen from his bloodstream. It built up and forced out oxegen in the cells of his brain.
He went to the hospital on Monday, Jan 5, for "lucid" hallucinations and a headache. He KNEW what he was seeing wasn't "real". The doctors, hospital staff, myself, and he, all thought he was having reactions to his newest chemo-meds.
After 5 days, they determined he had 48hrs to live.
That was Friday of last week.
He died on Tuesday, January 13, 2009 at precisely 5.30pm.
What he used to refer to as "Quittin' time in the South!!!".
This sucks.
I (and he) thought he would come home.
He never needed anyone to take care of him, never needed anyone to help him around (at 85yo)!, cooked his own meals, cleaned house, raked leaves...whatever. He was totally independent (until they suspended his license for his heart condition last year!), and no one lived with him. He was totally independent. After they suspended his license, it required a couple minutes of my time to run him around a couple days a week (no big deal.....). Even though I explained to him I had unlimited time available, whenever, for whatever, he felt bad I "had to loose time", for whatever reason.............
He went racing with me, traveling for years as my only crewmember, and never complained about anything (except loosing early...he hated that).
He was my biggest cheerleader, my loudest fan, my waterbox guy, and could psych out anyone I ran.
Shaking hands with a competitor, smiling at 80+ years old....saying "Good Luck!!"....and mumbling loud enough for them to hear "You're gonna NEED it!!".
The guy that never met a stranger. He could remember names of people I raced (and as he would say "beat") from years before.
I saw him at least 5 days a week, morning and afternoon, and usually Sat/Sun mornings, too...for at least a couple hours each time.
He "managed" my race shop. Paperwork, bookkeeping, income, outgo....it was all his deal.....he wouldn't LET me do any of it. Anytime I was there, he was, too. He had an alarm to tell him when someone entered the drive. No one could "sneak in" unnoticed.
Now, when I go inside the shop....its empty. Looking over at the chair he "built" (basically a broken lawn chair, with couch cushions he stole from a neighbors toss-out, duct taped together 15yrs ago!)....it feels like nothing I've ever felt in my life....like nothing "good" will ever go on there again.
Am I depressed? yes.
Will life go on? ....yes.....over time........... :'(
But right now, this is absolutely the worst thing I've ever dealt with in my life....
Sorry for the long post, I just thought y'all might like to know, there ARE bigger things in life than "cars". Luckily for me, it WAS "cars" that made us so close over the last 20+ yrs................thats the thing I can be thankful for...........
I've been lurking here all day (first day back at work), wondering if I should post this or not.....well, I know a lot of you pretty well (I think) from what I've read. I've talked to a couple of you in PM's and phone conversations. You're all a bunch of good guys (mostly.....) that my old man would like to talk to.......
See, my dad died Tuesday, Jan 13.
After suffering a loooong battle with different cancers, dialysis, and congestive heart failure, he died from, of all things, Hypoxia.
Basically, he could no longer (due to anemia) eliminate Nitrogen from his bloodstream. It built up and forced out oxegen in the cells of his brain.
He went to the hospital on Monday, Jan 5, for "lucid" hallucinations and a headache. He KNEW what he was seeing wasn't "real". The doctors, hospital staff, myself, and he, all thought he was having reactions to his newest chemo-meds.
After 5 days, they determined he had 48hrs to live.
That was Friday of last week.
He died on Tuesday, January 13, 2009 at precisely 5.30pm.
What he used to refer to as "Quittin' time in the South!!!".
This sucks.
I (and he) thought he would come home.
He never needed anyone to take care of him, never needed anyone to help him around (at 85yo)!, cooked his own meals, cleaned house, raked leaves...whatever. He was totally independent (until they suspended his license for his heart condition last year!), and no one lived with him. He was totally independent. After they suspended his license, it required a couple minutes of my time to run him around a couple days a week (no big deal.....). Even though I explained to him I had unlimited time available, whenever, for whatever, he felt bad I "had to loose time", for whatever reason.............
He went racing with me, traveling for years as my only crewmember, and never complained about anything (except loosing early...he hated that).
He was my biggest cheerleader, my loudest fan, my waterbox guy, and could psych out anyone I ran.
Shaking hands with a competitor, smiling at 80+ years old....saying "Good Luck!!"....and mumbling loud enough for them to hear "You're gonna NEED it!!".
The guy that never met a stranger. He could remember names of people I raced (and as he would say "beat") from years before.
I saw him at least 5 days a week, morning and afternoon, and usually Sat/Sun mornings, too...for at least a couple hours each time.
He "managed" my race shop. Paperwork, bookkeeping, income, outgo....it was all his deal.....he wouldn't LET me do any of it. Anytime I was there, he was, too. He had an alarm to tell him when someone entered the drive. No one could "sneak in" unnoticed.
Now, when I go inside the shop....its empty. Looking over at the chair he "built" (basically a broken lawn chair, with couch cushions he stole from a neighbors toss-out, duct taped together 15yrs ago!)....it feels like nothing I've ever felt in my life....like nothing "good" will ever go on there again.
Am I depressed? yes.
Will life go on? ....yes.....over time........... :'(
But right now, this is absolutely the worst thing I've ever dealt with in my life....
Sorry for the long post, I just thought y'all might like to know, there ARE bigger things in life than "cars". Luckily for me, it WAS "cars" that made us so close over the last 20+ yrs................thats the thing I can be thankful for...........
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