The Blue Turd(le)

[68scott385]

Took the car to Test-n-Tune recently. Weather was good, not cloudy, humid, or stupid hot. Upper 70s with low wind and minimal smoke from Canada. In its current setup and rusty me at the helm, it ran 9.329 and 9.34x. Sixty foot times were 2.17x and 2.22x. (working from memory, slips not in front of me) The better time was right off the street. It took about ten runs to get the back-up. I made zero adjustments to the car throughtout the day. I had tools but no timing light or jet kit. It's not that I assembled it and took it to the track, I've been working out the kinks as time allows, for months. A friend says he goes to the track to race his car, not work on it. That is by no means a confession to any foolishness on public roads, unless you have video, then send me a link, please.

And on that note, soap box alert, I will never be a part of what the news calls racing. Cars doing donuts in intersections or freeways is not racing nor does it belong at/on the local dragstrip as some seem to think. There have been both here recently. The impound lot has been dubbed the "Mopar Lot" by the local police.

I'm working on making postable pictures but life is very busy.

[Monster]

Then we get to 2023, and I'm out of time right now to continue.

Great to see you back Scott. Enjoyed your catch-up report and look forward to your conclusion.

[Deaf Bob]

Good to see you back.

[68scott385]

omg that was hard af.
I don't really know where to start for good continuity of story. I do, however, have a place in mind where I should start, sans pictures because login took fifteen minutes of abnormal tenacity. This may be a rough read and surely the timeline won't be straight, enjoy.

I want to say Blytheville, April 2019. Those involved can correct or corroborate. I owe Patrick & Tammy a huge apology for missing the dinner invite. Mini-me, who's now 6'5", and myself were nursing sunburns. It took six months for the stripe to wear off my knees. If I never have skin cancer it'll be miraculous.
The remainder of that year was very turbulent at home for me. The events of that year had me retract from many activities I enjoy. However, things did not keep me from playiong in my own garage. If anyone gets confused, I'm sorry. I do have more projects than I have threads. If you knew the condition of some of them, you'd understand why they aren't brought up more.

Somehow I thought it would be fun to play musical motors. I acquired an '87 454 that wasn't running. After the standard inspection routine, one head (peanut ports) was cracked in several places in one chamber. A set of late model (Gen6) heads were purchased from a gentleman that had removed them from a crate motor. I really don't care what their backstory is, they were clean (not used) and not cracked. Frankenstein (not its real name due to public sensitivities) came to life Easter weekend 2019. Then the fun began. The 385 came out of the '75 Monte Carlo and Frank went in. Frank never wanted to idle. I tried everything I could think of at the time, but it never would idle. Valves, basic vacuum leak checks, different carbs, intake gaskets leaking from the bottom, nothing worked.
The more important swap was getting the mistake motor out of the wragon. Sorry Dan, I know how you like alternate power plants. I tried to be different but different wasn't goiing to take me where I wanted to go. The 385 got cleaned up, a new intake, new valve covers, and new headers before being dropped into the wragon. I got a very late in-the-season start on this and didn't get any farther than the basic install.

January 1, 2020, 0130, some 16 year old kid runs a stop sign crossing a back road with a 55mph speed limit. The Suburban seen in Blytheville the previous year died a horrible death but was able to give many of its important organs to what is now simply referred to as Three. The dead 'burb is One. There is a Two that I'm not as fond of but it did fill the transportation gap at the time. As for me, my right leg was broken just below the knee, along with everything else attached to the brake pedal at the moment of impact. That's three 1999 Suburbans, that does not make me Maxwell Smart. Physical recovery took a year. I gained 50lbs too. That 50 and another 80 has now left and I feel twenty-five years younger, mostly.

2021. After months of searching, I settle on Two. I was looking for a twin and got to a point where I needed wheels worse. Several months after the purchase it developed a knock that sounds deep. Not wanting to treat the wragon like the Monte Carlo, I parked Two and focused on the wrag. Completely stir crazy at this point, I got back into the wragon with all the enthusiasm of a teenager. Electric fans, fan mounts, MSD box, new power steering lines (this is its own subject), gauges, bucket seats, floor shifter, made a gauge console and a new dash face, and all the lovely wiring to go with it didn't get finished until October, iirc. Either way, it felt good to get the car running again and to be physically able to to the work on it. At some point I thought it would be a good idea to build another motor, for Two, but by the time it got out of the machine shop, Three was in mid transformation. The new motor, a purple 383, is another topic also. That machine shop won't see me again unless they are outside when I drive by. PLEASE do not read that as threatening, I would never!

2022. While collecting another 454, this one to replace Frank, I found Three. Three is a near identical twin to One. Three was at a truck (not semi) shop whose owner had just purchased it from a guy to keep it from becoming someone's work truck. After explaining the important parts from above, with pictures, the shop owner sol it to me.
Frank's replacement won't idle in the car either. I just need the car to move under its own power but have bigger priorities. Sometimes I feel like Charlie Brown.
All of One's suspension was donated to Three. While the rearend was out, it got an Eaton posi, 3.73 gears, and Moser axles. The wragon also got the same treatment, 3.23s out, 3.73s in with an Eaton posi and Moser axles. Yes, I know a guy. With the 385 and 3.23 combo it ran 9.75. Better than the 10.3s it ran with the Olds 455 but not good enough yet. It hasn't been run in its current configuration. The wrag also got a new carb, an Edelbrock 1306. Only the terminally stupid will talk trash about this Eddy carb. And I definitely know a guy who knows someone. Let's say the carb arrive in three days for much less than advertised at the mail order houses.

Then we get to 2023, and I'm out of time right now to continue.

[68scott385]

will it let me?

[DanStokes]

Please keep the updates coming. (Though I prefer the Olds - I like weird-os.)

Dan

[68scott385]

I "threatened" to update this thread but I'm having trouble picking up where it left off. Certain years are a blur, like nearly everything from mid-1994 to mid-1999. I can recall plenty of events, I just can't date them without referencing other dates/events. The last couple years are like that too. Someone said slowly going in one direction is better than quickly going nowhere. My life resembles that remark more than I care to admit.

Not that I thought it was quick, or fast, but I wanted to know what it would run on the track, mostly as a reference to other vehicles and as a starting point. It went down the track twice. The times were close enough to call consistent for me. First was 10.312 @ 65.48, second was 10.305 @ 66.07. I'm sure there's more to be had with some tuning but to me it's beating a dead horse, almost literally.

The 455 ran when bought, was cleaner than the 3ow7 that came out, hasn't been any more apart that valve cover gaskets and distributor replacement in decades, and was cheap enough to enjoy as an experiment. After patiently waiting, searching for a couple great, running cores, I've decided to change directions. It's a Chevrolet car, it was born with an Olds engine, it had an Olds engine transplant, and now it's time for a Chevy engine to be between its fenders.

I've accumulated a MkIV 454 that is half inspected, a '98 GenVI 454 that I haven't had time to inspect, and a '97 GenVI that runs very well but still needs some work to be reliable. Then there's the 385 that was built in 1999 and has somewhere between 15,ooo & 25,ooo miles. Have you ever really owned a hot rod if you haven't had to drive by the tach for a couple years? There's also enough "spare" parts to build 350hp small block if need be.......but I'm getting ahead of the timeline of events.

[Deaf Bob]

I figured you prolly go thru more congested areas than I will..
3 metropolitian areas, one is quite big.. All freeway 25 miles from home.. Untill we cross into WA midstate..
Will be seeing wild horse herds from the highway...

[DanStokes]

Sorry if I was a pest. I try not to get in the way. It did take an hour before getting kicked off the starting line. OOPS!

Walking around, looking at all the combinations, it was very interesting and left me with several questions. Reading through the rules started clearing up some things. Still though, the diversity is incredible.

NOT a pest! Always great to have someone to chat up in the staging lanes - as you saw, one can be there a while!

Dan

[68scott385]

Funny how things are closer together on the east side of the Mississippi River. East of me and they really get close, too close for me.

The local drag strip is only five miles. When the wind is right and the sky is clear I can hear them run from the backyard. I planned to go to test-n-tune tonight and the track's FB page said they where open, until it was time to open, then they cancelled test-n-tune, CRAP. Friday's a wash due to Door Slammer Nationals, so I get to spectate again.

Two weeks ago I bought some bucket seats for the car. It's more a necessity than a want, I have to get my back in a comfortable position if I'm going to drive this car for any amount of time. I also found a Colonnade El Camino rear bumper. The wragon's rear bumper is rusted through close to the license plate. For nearly four years I've been looking for a wagon rear bumper but nothing close. I figure an El Camino bumper should be close to the correct contour on top of the bumper and since one showed up for a reasonable price I snagged it.

[Deaf Bob]

3-3.5 hrs! THAT'S ALL?!?!?
Going to Yakima this weekend.. It is a 4-5 hr one way drive..
Went to Lakeview OR by the CA border over Labor Day to watch a derby, that was 5.5-6 hrs.
4th of July we went to Forks WA, and that was 6-7 hrs one way..
Did not get a motel as all these are "fair" shows and all the motels are full in advance..
Admittingly we do win some cash at our shows that helps offset the costs.. Forks and Lakeview were watch shows
We had one in mid Aig that was only 45 min away

[68scott385]

Great chatting with you in the staging lanes. "Attending Drag Week" seems like a perfectly acceptable reason to me.

Later!

Dan

Sorry if I was a pest. I try not to get in the way. It did take an hour before getting kicked off the starting line. OOPS!

Walking around, looking at all the combinations, it was very interesting and left me with several questions. Reading through the rules started clearing up some things. Still though, the diversity is incredible.

[Stewzer55]

Attending Drag Week? You mean "family vacation" it's not a lie. I had no idea Ohio Mile was going on, been busy interning.

[DanStokes]

Great chatting with you in the staging lanes. "Attending Drag Week" seems like a perfectly acceptable reason to me.

Later!

Dan

[68scott385]

Some last minute changes allowed me to go to Ohio and enjoy it. It took roughly 3 -3.5 hours to get there but 2.25 to get back. Insomnia has benefits after all. We didn't stay for Sunday since Jr-ette has school and they frowned at the note in 2013 for missing school for part of Drag Week.

I still "need" to take the wragon to the drag strip to satisfy my curiosity and after this weekend I want to take it to Wilmington at least once. I noticed there was a lot of waiting to make two runs in one day. That's not too different from my local drag strip. On a good test-n-tune night you'll get 3-5 runs. I guess it's time to get serious about a car trailer.