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BangShift Question Of The Day: How Much Of An A-Hole Driver Are You?


BangShift Question Of The Day: How Much Of An A-Hole Driver Are You?

Anyone who asks me how I would personally describe my own driving style will get the same answer: in the typical day-to-day I’m conservative borderline prudish, but get me in the right moment at the right time and I feel comfortable enough, and all hell will break loose. Day to day, I’ve got nothing to prove to anybody and I’m not out to race every last car on the road. I’ve yet to be in a traffic accident that is my fault, and I grew out of my “burn the tires off every time I turn right” phase in high school. Tires are freaking expensive, my insurance costs are FINALLY within the realm of reason and I have no intention of screwing that up. There’s too many playgrounds around where I live to offer up the excuse of “not having something close by”, and Interstate traffic usually moves along just fine at proper speeds.

But that’s if you ask me. Ask people who have ridden with me what I drive like sometime. Ask the two guys who were in the car with me when I accidentally got air while pushing triple-digit speeds on a Texas country road. Ask the friend of mine who was in the car with me when I decided that an on-ramp was the perfect place to start bangshifting my old four-speed cop car like I was running from the cops. Ask my ex-wife, who learned what that cop car was all about when I drifted it in the neighborhood we lived in at the time, or the neighbors about four months later when some red brick of a car they couldn’t identify was doing burnouts on the access road. I can tell you I’m a saint. There’s plenty who will tell you that I’m a sinner.

But am I what would commonly be referred to as an “asshole driver”? I doubt it. I signal, I don’t tailgate, I don’t brake-check, I don’t get pissed off in traffic (except in Philadelphia, and if you know, you know) and I’m not doing stupid things like weaving in traffic or last-minute merging. On the Interstate I play by autobahn rules (stay right except to pass, pass quickly and get the hell over). So, for today’s question, go ahead and rate yourself: are you an A-hole driver with a gold star, or are you somewhere between good and evil?

Don’t claim sainthood, either. This is BangShift, after all. If you’re reading this, chances are good you’ve signed your name in melted rubber on some street somewhere…


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15 thoughts on “BangShift Question Of The Day: How Much Of An A-Hole Driver Are You?

  1. jerry z

    I used to live in North Jersey, commuting on any major highways was a nightmare during rush hour. I watch people driving like Mario Andretti weaving in and out of traffic just to get ahead by one or two cars. When they did this, I usually boxed them in and just watched them in my rear view have a conniption and this always made my day. Now living in the Raleigh area is starting to be just like NJ and just as much fun.

    Reply
    1. Jack M.

      The population of the Greater Toronto Area is 6.5 million people. The traffic is as bad as anywhere in North America. Like yourself, if some fool tailgates me on a 4 lane highway, when I’m in the slow lane, they will be sitting behind me for a very long time. To piss them off even more, when my exit is approaching I will leave them in the dust!

      Reply
  2. Gary

    Drivers are just reflecting the general lack of civility on display as our society as a whole declines. It’s sad. We all make the choices we make. I drive quickly, and smoothly, and try to to be a factor in anyone else’s driving. But I have the advantage of living outside Bowling Green, KY, where traffic is quite light compared to places like N.Y. and N.J.

    Reply
  3. Mopar or No Car

    I do physically prevent people from making egregiously unsafe maneuvers. They generally don’t react well. So who’s the a-hole? I try really hard not to express my displeasure with finger gestures, etc. Especially since the time an unmarked cop car cut me off on the freeway and I flipped him off while passing in the shoulder lane. He put the fear of God in me before letting me go.

    Reply
  4. Joel Hemi

    Jerry Z and moperornocar are the assholes. The driving style you describe is inexcusable! Anytime you intentionally interfere with another driver’s progress you are the bigger asshole. YOU cause the traffic jams with your holier than thou attitude. Why do you think they are changing Lanes back and forth? To get around all the rolling roadblock assholes

    Reply
    1. bob

      I’m pretty sure Jerry is waiting patiently behind the asshole left lane blocker and also trying to leave a little space between him and the asshole. That’s when the right hand passer (BTW is only inches off Jerry’s back bumper) will try to get in front of you and cut you off. Ain’t happening with me. Trust me, east coast drivers are the worst for this shit. once you hit Indiana, things mellow out a bit.

      Reply
      1. jerry z

        WOW! Didn’t know I was the bad guy here! LOL! Maybe I’ll explain in a little more detail. I usually drive 5-10 over the speed limit, not some grampa style of driving. But when some people need to drive 20+ over the speed limit and change lane like a pinball, it does bother me. Not today but years ago yes, I usually blocked people. It’s the little satisfaction that made my day.

        Reply
  5. Tom P

    Not always Joel, around here and anywhere out west we get people tailgating inches behind and needing to pass, this is on long stretches of single lane roads with little traffic. I like to do 10mph over or little faster. I don’t mind if anyone wants to do 100 over, go by when you can. Then when they do pass me they slow down slower than i’d been going the past 50 miles while they were on my tail. I immediately pass them and put distance between and if they dare come up behind me again I will do silly stuff…and consider them the asshole. This is not a rare occurrence. On long trips it will happen several times each way. These people just need to lead the parade even if means driving way faster than they are capable of to catch a car in front to get by them to lead.

    When you are driving 1000 miles+ and get held up by some dumbass doing 50 in a twisty hilly double solid line 70mph zone and the sign says “passing lane 22 miles” and after getting to it what seems like an hour later the ass speeds up over 100mph and you can’t get by him and slows back to 40 after the passing lane ends. Ain’t just me, the thirty other cars lined up behind would also love to retaliate.

    Reply
  6. Tony Primo

    The police are not giving enough tickets for driving under the speed limit. Some of these characters need to have their drivers licenses shredded right on the spot, delete any record of them having ever driven and let them start over from square one.

    Reply
  7. GeorgeA

    The problem here in the Northeast is, on three-lane Interstates, the middle lane is the slow lane, the left lane is the middle lane +5 mph, and the right lane is wide-open. So, do you hang out int he left lane waiting for the Corolla up ahead to finally hit its its exit and open the lane up? Or pass on the right like a jamoke?

    Reply
  8. Dennis L

    I drive really slow in the ultrafast lane
    While people behind me are going insane.

    Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
    While handicapped people make handicapped faces

    Reply

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