1979-85 Cadillac Eldorados really don’t do it for me. They look like a huge version of Lee Iacocca’s fever dream, with a big grille, a notchback rear glass area, wire hubcaps, subdued paint colors and front-wheel-drive. No, thank you. Specifically, the front-drive kills it for me. It’s not like the engine selections were great…you have the HT4100, the 368 Cadillac with the V8-6-4 displacement feature that just didn’t work, or the Oldsmobile diesel V8. If you were cheap, you could get the 4.1L V6, and if you were lucky you got an Oldsmobile 350 hooked to the transaxle. It really didn’t matter…I’m pretty sure that my Chevy Cruze could whip the ass of any Eldorado of that generation in the quarter mile. 13 seconds to sixty, nearly twenty seconds to a quarter-mile? Pathetic.
So what good is a GM E-body that can’t get out of it’s own way, really doesn’t have any visual impact worth noting, and doesn’t run? It ain’t…that’s scrap metal time, my friend, unless you’ve got money to blow and are picturing a very unique ProMod build, at which point you’d have our undivided attention. Or, you could take a different route: the life of the party. At car shows, races, whatever…be the guy or gal that’s grilling up the food, pouring the drinks and playing the music. Have the tip jar out and proceed to make friends with damn near everybody at the track! You don’t have to have the fastest race car on the property to be popular. In fact, you could be downright enterprising and let this Eldo be what pays for the race car.
The layout is simple: up front, where the engine would have been, is a gigantic barbecue. Out back is storage for two kegs of beer and two taps. In-between is a sound system, and we’d bet there’s plenty more room for the storage of other beverages. The pink paint has to go, though…shoot it black, add classic flames, and call it good. Throw it behind the toterhome and make sure your business plan is set!