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Christmas Gift Idea: The Christine Cube! Play Doo-Wop Music And Freak Out Your Friends!

Christmas Gift Idea: The Christine Cube! Play Doo-Wop Music And Freak Out Your Friends!

Hey there, BangShifter! Are you running out of ideas for gifts for those hard-to-shop for friends of yours? It’s easy for most other people…some good-smelling stuff for her, something that projects the rugged, outdoorsy individual that he isn’t, maybe an expensive cooler or two, and you’re done. But fellow gearheads…ugh, we can be a bit of a pain in the ass to shop for. Ask my wife, or my in-laws just how fun that is. But here at BangShift, we understand that we don’t have to put the “why” in “why in the hell would they want that thing?!” into our gift recommendations. If you’re shopping with us, either you get the car scene, or you are in up to your neck and desperately need help. Either way, we can help you out!

Is the person you are shopping for a fan of the Stephen King novel, “Christine”? You know the one: 1958 Plymouth Fury in red and white, possessed, self-healing, teenage idolizations, coming of age, murderous rampages with a Chrysler V8 soundtrack. Yeah, that one, the novel that John Carpenter turned into a movie for 1983. It’s the reason why I have any kind of interest in finned Mopars and the reason why I can’t listen to Thurston Harris’s “Little Bitty Pretty One” without getting this strange sense of doom chilling my spine. I’d offer a spoiler alert, but with both the movie and book being as old as I am, there’s no need: regardless of media, the Fury winds up as a teeny, tiny little cube in a junkyard after a battle royale scene, between a turd pumper truck in the book or an earthmover in the movie. In both book and movie, it’s not the end of the car by a wide mile. But it’s going to take a minute or two for that battered old mill to come back to life.

So why not have the ultimate victory sign over a possessed Plymouth in the form of the crushed cube of metal that was left? Look…the truth is that this cube is really a 1962 Chevrolet, weighs in at nearly half a ton, and is now going to be considered “art”. Surely that alone will get it past the missus, right? This sculpture might be a bit expensive for 900 pounds of cubed Chevrolet, but price a real-deal Plymouth Fury and maybe it’ll make more sense. Maybe.

eBay Link: The Christine Cube

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11 thoughts on “Christmas Gift Idea: The Christine Cube! Play Doo-Wop Music And Freak Out Your Friends!

  1. Brian Cooper

    It’s not the actual prop from the movie, so it’s just a crushed Chevy. So, what’s the point of this thing? It’s not art, it’s a ruined car. No thanks.

  2. Woody

    Thurston Harris recorded “Little Bitty Pretty One”.

    Thurston Howell was a character on Gilligan’s Island.

  3. KCR

    As I look at the “cube”,best I can. What gets me is. The “Rusty Car” as they kinda speak of. I don’t see any rust to speak on it. Those of us that live in the good old USA’s rust belt,we know rust.And as far as it being in bad enough shape ,with no good parts left to use. You would see rust some place in this so called art piece. Some jillionair that owns a new Vette will buy this joke in a minute. Pay some movers to put it in his office. And really think he has a piece of are. If this is art. The steel mills in northwest Indiana .Melt down art by the thousands every hour 24-7.

  4. Brett

    The fact that this work is inspiring an emotional response proves that it is “art” in the simplest and most realistic definition.
    And you all realize that if this sells, we may be looking at the next trend amongst dentists and dermatologists alike. After all, who could have guessed the Pet Rock was a multi million dollar idea?

  5. Piston Pete

    I love BangShift, I do, but you can sure tell when racing season is over. Subject matter starts getting a little thin around the holidays.

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