NASCAR rocked the racing world today with the announcement that they would be scrapping the controversial “Car of Tomorrow” for Toyota 2JZ powered, late second generation Camaros and Firebirds.

NASCAR President Mike Helton explained the move, “Sure this may come as a shock to many, but we saw that freaking story in Hot Rod Magazine with the first-gen Camaro packing Toyota heat and it got our wheels turning.” He continued, “We decided to go with the late second-gen cars because let’s face it, times are tough and teams can buy truckloads of them out of wrecking yards for pennies on the dollar. No sponsor? No freaking problem, any guy with a welder and a case of beer should be able to make this swap work. We also like the crossover of getting JDM motors from Japan, it’s got international flair and appeal.”

When asked if he knew what JDM stood for, Helton asked an assistant, who blurted out, “Japanese Death Machine”.

Several team owners have expressed concern over the plan. One, who refused to be named said, “I have 300 million dollars rolled up into these Cars of Tomorrow. I have enough money into this thing to purchase several countries and now I’m going to be begging some guy whose trailer has three flats and an uneven mullet for the 1977 Camaro in his front yard? Is everyone on crazy pills around here?”

Helton affirmed the move, “Our sponsors love this idea. I mean, if we’re going to race cars that have no relevance to anything a consumer can purchase, we may as well go balls out with this thing. There’s no point in even trying to fake it anymore. Honestly we’ve heard stories of these 2J whatever the hell they are engines making upwards of 5,000 hp on a stock bottom end. That’s 2-300 horsepower more than a current NASCAR competition model.”

An assistant reminded him that the current cars really only made 700 or so hp on the good day. He punched the assistant in the mouth.