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Scrapple, Your Guide To The “meh”-Worthy News! This Week: Them Duke Boys Got Fancy!

Scrapple, Your Guide To The “meh”-Worthy News! This Week: Them Duke Boys Got Fancy!


1. Tell the Duke Boys to try harder.

The current jump for distance for a four-wheeled vehicle is Tanner Foust’s 332 foot launch and the longest attempted to date would have been 360 total feet, if Guerlain Chicherit’s Mini hadn’t nosed over and proceeded to put on one painful gymnastics show while crunching every bit of metal on the machine. Well, there was an impromptu attempt made this week when a Mercedes-Benz was launched over 400 feet across the San Joaquin river, bringing a police chase to a stunning end. In case you were wondering, it’s presumed that the Benz landed roof-first after it’s flight and no, the driver did not make it out alive.

2. You don’t think he took everything personal, do you?

To see Carlos Ghosn hold a grudge against Nissan should come as no surprise, considering the arrests, the jail time, the massive amount of money in bail that he’s had to pay, and the Mission:Impossible style escape from Japan he had to perform. But his most cutting criticism against his former employer was levied this week: he expects Nissan to be bankrupt in two, maybe three years. And that’s not just a man who is pissed off with good reason talking, either…last May, former CEO Hiroto Saikawa, Ghosn’s replacment (and possible nemesis in this whole saga) said that Nissan was “at rock bottom”.

3. And the award for “no surprise there” goes to…

Remember the two engineers who got busted street racing C8 Corvettes around Bowling Green? Yep…both are no longer employed by GM. Alexander Thim and Mark Derkatz have both shown signs that they are now former employees. Not shocking when they manage to make international news by making a rip down Lovers Lane, where construction of new buildings has been going on for years now.

4. The better to haul ass with!

Shelby American has been selling more cars than trucks since 2015, per the company. Keep in mind that the first trucks that Shelby messed with included a one-off 1983 Dodge Ram and the Dodge Dakota convertibles of the late 1980s. Since Ford somehow can’t remember how to build the Lightning, those with a major power jones and the need for a bed are going to Shelby American, who sell modified Raptors and Super Snake pickup trucks.

5. Time to go home and drink.

It’s the Cruise Origin. It’s a product of Cruise Automation, a GM subsidiary. It looks like they kind-of copied the Local Motors’ Olli vehicle. It has no controls for the humans at all, is expected to be useful for a million miles, and is expected to appear in San Francisco first, though nobody knows when yet. Their tagline: “By removing the steering wheel, the rearview mirror, the pedals and more, we’re left with something simple: space.”

We’re left with this sick, swimming feeling in our stomach.

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6 thoughts on “Scrapple, Your Guide To The “meh”-Worthy News! This Week: Them Duke Boys Got Fancy!

  1. john

    Just build a box, add windows and a comfortable seat, a/c and a stereo….then call UPS and ship yourself to your destination. Don’t forget “this side up”…..!

  2. jerry z

    You can get one of those Cruise Origin after a night of drinking. Then again if you can’t remember your name, going be pretty tough getting home!

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