I have been actively forcing myself to find something, anything, about the Jeep Renegade to like. No, seriously, I have…it’s a challenge for me. Very few cars are on my list of vehicles that are utterly pointless, undesirable, and without redeeming quality, and the Renegade currently sits solidly in first place. Even the Ford Granada, a car I’ve been none-too-shy about trashing, would be more welcome in my driveway than the cross-dressing Fiat that has all the same rugged appeal as a toy Pomeranian. The closest I came to liking the thing was in the video that Jeep put out showing them taking the Easter Jeep Safari vehicles out on Moab. It wasn’t scaling huge rocky passes or articulating like crazy, but it was handling itself well and at least three out of four wheels were moving under power. Given that the Renegade would certainly help Jeep’s CAFE figures, maybe I could come around to seeing a point and purpose of having the Little Tykes Jeep around.

Then Jalopnik put up the television advertisements for the Renegade, and my initial impression, that Jeep is aiming the Renegade directly to the hipster crowd who couldn’t be bothered to give a shit about a new car or off-roading, came rushing back in full force. Yes, you see a Renegade near a canyon edge, splashing through a muddy puddle and on a beach. From the video, I’d venture to say that if it were running right now, that my Imperial would cover every section of “off-road” the Renegade is seen on just fine. Hipster bonus point: hardly anybody knows what the Imperial is, adding to the “you probably haven’t heard of it” quip, and you can find running examples for far less than the $17,995 base price. I’m not going after the band or the song used, but I will say that picking a song about “Renegades” from a band that sounds like the opening band for Imagine Dragons is going to infuriate both sides of the argument. Any song would have worked, even an instrumental version would have worked, with the “Renegade” lyrics, it just sounds like a 1960’s jingle to me.

FCA, a suggestion: whoever your marketing person was on this deal, fire them. Jeep sells for off-road capability, not because of a guy throwing a boogie board into the sea. The harmonica guy should’ve been replaced with a lumbersexual driving to a campsite in the woods if you’re that bent about courting the hip and trending. At least then we’d see the Renegade’s off-road chops a little bit better. This ad is not going to sway the opinions of people who believe that a Mercedes diesel wagon with a manual transmission is the pinnacle of automotive perfection. They’re going to see it much as we are seeing it: they are looking for the Power Wheels logo on the front fender. It’s the Jeep faithful’s worst nightmare: the point where Jeep ceases to honor it’s heritage and instead becomes a fashionable brand name. Congratulations.