When the description of the YouTube video of a car being jumped includes the phrase “KID LIVES!!”, you watch the video. It’s not because you want to see whether or not the uploader is full of it, but because you want to see just how old “kid” references and you want to see the lead-up to what obviously must’ve been an entertaining moment. Case in point: Wherever, USA, picturesque with snow and mountains, and several bored teenagers at the end of a road. Wait a minute, we know this story…it usually ends badly. We’d normally look for clues, but when the onlookers start to notice that the car is going a little bit faster than they were expecting, you wonder if you should prepare to celebrate or call the ambulance. Maybe both, at the same time.
The weapon of choice is one of the most milquetoast automobiles of the past twenty years: a late 1990s era Chevrolet Lumina. It was sleek and aerodynamic, and compared to the previous generation you could even call it a bit handsome. But that’s too much credit for a car that best represents GM’s “you’ll buy it, and you’ll like it” mentality. The truth is that this was a $500 winter beater before these guys got their hands on it. If anything, they actually found the way to make a Lumina cool…and it involves at least five feet of air under the tires.